Stone Cold Naruto Uzumaki
by lulamaemobster
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki, alcohol fueled.
1. Business Is About To Pick Up!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Business Is About To Pick Up**

Hokage's office, Afternoon

Tsunade: Where the hell is Naruto? You said he'd meet you here in an hour, right?

Jiraiya: (sighs) Yeah, but that was two hours ago.

Jiraiya flashes back to his and Naruto's earlier return to Konohagakure

Jiraiya: Boy, I bet you're excited to be back.

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya: I ask if you're excited to be back.

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya realizes what Naruto is doing

Jiraiya: Don't start that shit with me today, okay?

Naruto: What…ever.

Naruto flips Jiraiya off as he turns around continuing into Konohagakure

Jiraiya: Well, I guess it's off to meet with Lady Tsunade.

Naruto: Know what, you go. I'll meet you there in about an hour.

Jiraiya: Wait a minute, Naru…

Before Jiraiya can stop him Naruto takes off

End Flashback. Back in Hokage's office

Tsunade: Damn it, who does he think he is. At least Kakashi is just fashionably late.

Jiraiya: He's become more belligerent over the last few years. He keeps challenging me to show his superiority.

Tsundae: Really? I had no idea he would grow to be like this. How does he challenge you?

Jiraiya: Fights, drinking, who can pick up the most women.

Tsunade: Drinking isn't he too young for that.

Jiraiya: I can't stop him, either. Every town we got to he makes me top into the local bare to challenge me to drinking matches. To make matters worse, he can damn near beat me.

Tsunade: Do you think it has to do with the Kyuubi No Kitsune?

Jiraiya: Perhaps. I know that Minato's seal was design for the Kyuubi's chakra to mix into Naruto's but as for its spirit, well, anything's possible.

Tsunade: Well, at any rate, I'm tired of waiting. I'm going hunt him down and teach him some manners.


	2. Too Young What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Too Young. What?!**

Tsunade and Jiraiya are leaving the Hokage's office

Tsunade: I bet he's at Ichiraku's

Jiraiya: I doubt it.

Tsunade: What do you mean?

Jiraiya: He was complaining about being thirsty before we entered the village. You might want to check the bars in the village. More to the point, the bars that have people being thrown out on their heads.

Naruto walking up to a bar

Naruto: They must've built it while I was gone.

Naruto walks in and up to the bar

Naruto: Sake!

Bartender: Ain't you a lil' young to be drinkin'?

Naruto glares at the bartender

Naruto: Too young? What! I'm too young? What! Not old enough? What! Is that what you're saying? What!

Bartender: Yeah, you're too young.

Naruto: If there's one thing ol' Naruto hates more than a big, stupid jackass, it's a big, stupid jackass that tries to tell him what to do. What! Now, you got 'bout two shakes of a rattlesnake's tail to give me that sake or I'm gonna drag you across this bar and stomp a mudhole in your ass. What! What! What! What!

Bartender: You're too yo…

Before the bartender can finish, Naruto drags him over the bar and makes good on his threat.

Naruto: I told you, you son of a bitch! Don't you ever try to stop Naruto Uzumaki! What!

Some of the other bar patrons pull Naruto away from the bartender, doing so just causes Naruto strike at them also. Soon the whole bar is trying to stop Naruto and true to Jiraiya's predictions people are being thrown out of the bar. 

Tsunade and Jiraiya are walking towards the bar in hopes that this is the one he went to.

Jiraiya: This is it. That kid is like a rattlesnake, you never know when he's going to strike.

Tsunade tries to help some of the injured patrons.

Tsunade: Is he really that bad.

Jiraiya: Well, you see his handy work. I'll go in and try to calm him down, he at least makes and attempt to listen to me.

Jiraiya walks in to see the bartender serving Naruto sake.


	3. Jiraiya's Attempt

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Jiraiya's Attempt**

Jiraiya: Naruto!

Naruto doesn't turn around to see who it is

Jiraiya: Naruto!

Naruto continues to ignore Jiraiya

Jiraiya: Naruto!

Naruto: What?!

Jiraiya: What are you doing?

Naruto: What does it look like, you stupid son of a bitch? I'm training.

Jiraiya: (sigh) I guess that sake bottle is pretty heavy.

Naruto: Hell, it's the heaviest thing I could find.

Jiraiya: We've got to meet with the Hokage.

Naruto: What!

Jiraiya: Don't.

Naruto: I ain't finished training. What!

Jiraiya: The Hokage wants to see you to debrief us.

Naruto: Ain't nothing I done that you don't know about. What! You can do it without me. What!

Jiraiya walks up to Naruto at the bar and snatches the bottle of sake from his hand.

Jiraiya: I said let's go.

Naruto turns at last turns around and hops off the stool and faces Jiraiya.

Naruto: What! You know what happened the last time you snatched tried to stop me from training. What!

Jiraiya: I don't care, the ho…

Before Jiraiya can finish talking, Naruto catches him with a right hand across the face.


	4. Naruto vs Jiraiya

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Naruto vs. Jiraiya**

Jiraiya answers Naruto's right hand with one of his own, which is answered with another from Naruto. Jiraiya hits Naruto with another right hand to which Naruto responds by tackling Jiraiya to the ground. Naruto continues to pummel Jiraiya with right hands until Jiraiya pushes him off. Naruto had grown in physical strength but Jiraiya was still the stronger by far. As Jiraiya returns to his feet, Naruto gives him a toe kick to the stomach which causes Jiraiya to lean forward. Naruto then turns his back to Jiraiya and grabs him by the head, placing it on his shoulder. Jiraiya realizing what Naruto is about to do pushes him forward.

Jiraiya: You must think I'm pretty stupid to get caught with that again.

Naruto performs some hand signs

Naruto: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu

Two more Narutos appear from two clouds of smoke and attack Jiraiya. Jiraiya quickly performs some hand signs.

Jiraiya: Ninpo: Needle Jizo

Jiraiya's hair increases and surrounds him while sharpening into needles causing the clones to disperse on contact. Jiraiya releases the jutsu.

Jiraiya: Is that all you've got

Jiraiya doesn't notice a third clone coming up from the back. The clone hits Jiraiya with a chair and Jiraiya falls to the ground. Naruto then releases the clone and stomps Jiraiya three times, flips him off and stomps him one more time. Naruto then gets up and marches around the room shouting.

Naruto: Ain't nobody gonna tell Naruto Uzumaki what to do! Not no way, not no how!


	5. Naruto: The Rattlesnake

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Naruto: The Rattlesnake**

As Naruto continues his tirade around the bar Lady Tsunade sends in two members of Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai (ANBU). 

ANBU#1: Naruto Uzumaki!

Naruto turns his head with his back facing them.

ANBU #2: Lady Tsunade wants you to come to her office immediately!

Naruto: What?

ANBU #1: She wants to debrief you and Master Jiraiya as soon as possible.

Naruto: What?

ANBU #1: She wants you to tell her about the last 2 and a half years since you were last here.

Naruto: What?

ANBU #1: She wants yo…

The second ANBU member motions the first to stop realizing that this is getting nowhere.

Naruto: I guess I done raised enough hell here.

Naruto looks over to the bartender

Naruto: You can let your customers back in and I ain't gonna drink no more of you sake. Let's go Ero-Sennin.

As Naruto moves towards the door a sake bottle rolls off of a table and hits the floor shattering like glass. Naruto hears this and it's as if a switch went on in Naruto's head. Naruto immediately gives the first ANBU member a toe kick to the stomach, grabs his head and pulls it to his shoulder and falls to a seated position which causes the ANBU member to bounce backwards into the air. When the ANBU member lands Naruto climbs over him where his face is over his mask and shouts to him.

Naruto: That's what you get! That's what you get you son of a bitch!

Jiraiya: (thinking) Not the Nine-Tailed Number. I never dreamed that he'd make such a basic taijutsu move into something that dangerous when I taught it to him. If you're not paying attention then it's lights out.

Outside Sakura walks by and hears the commotion, she then notices that Lady Tsunade is standing outside of the bar and approaches her. 

Sakura: Lady Tsunade what's going on? Who's doing all of that shouting in there?

Tsunade: Naruto.

Sakura: You mean he's back?

Tsunade: Yes, but for some reason he's in their raising hell. I'd hate to send you in harm's way but could you go in there and try to calm him down? Maybe he'll listen to you.

Sakura: Right.

Sakura gives Lady Tsunade a salute and begins to walk into the bar. Before she takes a full step, Naruto walks out followed by Jiraiya with a slight bruise on his cheek and an ANBU member carrying another other member on his shoulder.


	6. Naruto, Sakura, and Tsunade What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Naruto, Sakura, and Tsunade. What!**

Sakura and Tsunade: Naruto?!

Sakura and Lady Tsunade are surprised at the site of Naruto.

Naruto: What?

Sakura is starting to shake off her surprise.

Sakura: Wh-What are you doing?

Naruto: What are you talking about? What am I doing?

Sakura: Look at what you've done.

Naruto: It ain't my fault.

Sakura: What do you mean?

Naruto: I strolled into Konohagakure, this is where I got my start I wanted to have a drink and these stupid sons of bitches wanted to give me a hard time so I set their asses straight.

Sakura gets back into her original groove of manhandling Naruto when he makes her mad and grabs him by the hand Naruto was using to point back towards the bar.

Sakura: But why'd you have to beat up all of these people and what are doing drinking anyway, aren't you too young?

Naruto: Well, I…

Naruto looks at Sakura's hand still holding his arm and smirk spreads across his face.

Sakura: What? What's that look?

Naruto: Hey, I see what this is, you're flirting with me.

Sakura pulls her hand away.

Sakura: What? No, I…

Naruto: I get it, I get it. Hell, man, you see me out here running through Jiraiya and gave an ANBU a Number, boo-yah!!!

Sakura: Wait a minute, it's not like that. (Inner Sakura: Cha!!! This is kind of a turn-on.)

Naruto: Since you're flirting with me so much, maybe you'd like to give ol' Naruto a kiss.

Naruto leans forward to match Sakura's face now that he's grown taller that her. Instead of the kiss he expected, Sakura throws a right fist from hell that connects with Sakura. Given her new found strength and power from her studies, Tsunade and Jiraiya are stunned that the punch didn't fell Naruto but simply made him turn his head to the side. Naruto turns his head around and looks at Sakura.

Naruto: I really wished you hadn't done that.

Naruto look around and then back to Sakura.

Naruto: Then again, I'm glad you did.

Naruto gives Sakura and Nine-Tailed Number, though not as violent as the one he gave the ANBU. Naruto gets up and raises his hand above his head and a bottle of sake come flying towards Naruto. Naruto begins drinking and Tsunade has seen enough.

Tsunade: Naruto!

Naruto looks at Tsunade.

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: Why are you doing this? T's your first day back and you're causing all this havoc in the village, your village by the way.

Tsunade points toward Jiraiya.

Tsunade: Why'd you attack Jiraiya?

Naruto: Cuz he's a perverted piece of trash.

Tsunade shrugs her shoulders.

Tsunade: Yeah.

Tsunade points toward the two ANBU.

Tsunade: What about them?

Naruto: Cuz they creep me out with the way they sneak around, they're creepy pieces of trash.

Tsunade looks down at Sakura.

Tsunade: What about Sakura? Wasn't she your teammate? Isn't this the girl your crush?

Naruto's trademark fox-like grin spreads across his face and he does that familiar rubbing of the back of his head.

Naruto: I gotta say that my crush is a crushed piece of trash.

Tsunade: Naruto this is completely unacceptable, you can't go around doing this. I think you owe everyone here an apology.

Naruto jerks his head, turns and walks a short distance away. He walks back towards Tsunade with disbelief stricken across his face.

Naruto: You want me to apologize?

Tsunade: Yes.

Naruto: Well, you've always been kinda lookin out for me in your own little way. So, if you want me to apologize then I'm sorry.

Tsunade: That's better, now, pick up Sakura and bring her to my...

Naruto: I've got a better idea.

Tsunade looks at Naruto suspiciously. He had only been back a short while but judging my what Jiraiya has said about his personality change and by his recent actions, she knew that he was up to something.

Naruto: Where out here in the street and we got all these people lookin' at us, but from the tension I feeling from you, it feels like it's just you and me all alone in this big ol' street.

Naruto approaches Tsunade until they're face to face.

Naruto: These people are watchin', so why don't we give 'em somethin' to watch and you plant a big wet one right on ol' Naruto.

Tsunadae's face is one of shock with a slight red tent to it Naruto puts his hand with the sake bottle still in it around the back of Tsunade's neck as if he's actually putting the moves on her.

Naruto: I mean come on, Jiraiya don't care. The ANBU are incapacitated and Sakura's takin' a little cat-nap courtesy of a Nine-Tailed Number.

Naruto is still face to face with Tsunade waiting for her decision. Much to her surprise Tsunade was almost considering it, she had always liked strong men and Naruto seemed to be growing into "real" man. Tsunade lips start to involuntarily pucker up. 

Naruto: I got a better idea, why don't we give these people something to really see…and drink some damn sake?

Naruto turns and raises his empty hand and a bottle of sake flies towards him and he catches it. He walks over to Tsunade and hands her the bottle. They perform a toast and take a drink of their respective bottles. Naruto gives her a hug as best as he can with her massive breasts. He puts his arm that end with the hand holding the bottle of sake around her shoulders and turns her to the crowd. Naruto acts as if he's oblivious to the fact that he's causing the sake to spill out of the bottle onto her chest, the male members of the crowd give the site of the hokage's massive sake soaked milk bladders and sort of "hell yeah" look. Naruto takes his free hand and grabs hers, raising them above their heads and begins to speak with the crowd.

Naruto: This is a very classy lady here and I'm proud to have her as my hokage.

While the crowd starts cheering for Tsunade, Naruto then turns to face her with a smile on his face and see Tsunade feeling pretty relieved that the situation seems to be resolved and that she didn't embarrass herself by giving him the kiss that she kind of wanted to but didn't want to. Naruto, still smiling, suddenly gives her a toe kick to the stomach, turns grabs Tsunade by the head while pulling it to his shoulder and drops to a seated position on the ground. The crowd is shocked that Naruto had assaulted the Hokage.

Jiraiya: Oh, no! Not the Number, that son of a bitch has numbed the hokage.

Naruto stands up and raises his middle fingers high into the air, he then raises one of his hands to catch an incoming bottle of sake and raises his hand signaling for another. Naruto then raises both bottles and pours them into his mouth getting more on his chest then his in his mouth. Naruto takes a stomping/walking march down the road leaving the scene of his destruction to find more hell to raise.

Jiraiya: (thinking) A goddamn rattlesnake. One thing for sure, Naruto Uzumaki's back.


	7. The Kyuubi No Kitsune, What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**The Kyuubi No Kitsune. What!**

Hokage's office. Dusk.

Tsunade just finished up healing everyone that was caught in Naruto's wake.

Jiraiya: Damn it!

Tsunade: What's wrong?

Jiraiya: This all my fault.

Tsunade: What do you mean?

Jiraiya take a deep breath.

Jiraiya: Well, one day Naruto got curious and asked me the particulars of how he came to possess the Kyuubi No Kitsune (Nine-Tailed Fox).

Sakura has a puzzled look on her face.

Sakura: What's the Kyuubi No Kitsune?

Tsunade: I thought that he already knew that.

Jiraiya: He knew that he possessed it but what he wanted to know was who chose him and why was he chosen.

Tsunade: You didn't tell him, did you?

Jiraiya closes his eyes and flashes back to when he told Naruto the truth. Naruto and Jiraiya are c amped out around a fire for the night.

Naruto: Hey, Ero-Sennin (Pervy Sage), don't avoid the question. Why? Why was I chosen? Who chose me? For all they know I could've been killed and I would've had no say in the matter.

Jiraiya: (sighs) Do you really want to know?

Naruto nods and Jiraiya prepares himself to tell Naruto the truth about it all.

Jiraiya: It was Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage; he sacrificed his life to protect his life to protect the village by sealing the Kyuubi No Kitsune into you, his son?

A look of pure shock spreads across Naruto's face.

Naruto: What, me, his son. I can't be, I don't see the resemblance.

Jiraiya: Well, there's the hair.

Naruto: And the eyes, right.

Jiraiya: It wouldn't have been fair to seal it within anyone else's child, so that's why you were chosen.

Naruto: Let me get this straight. My father, The Fourth Hokage, the greatest shinobi to ever come out of Konohagakure sacrificed himself to seal the Kyuubi No Kitsune into me, his son, and all anyone could do to repay us for our troubles is to do whatever they could to make my life a living hell?

Jiraiya: You have to understand, the Third Hokage forbade anyone to speak of it.

Naruto: But they could go on tormenting me, huh?

Jiraiya: You have to give them time.

Naruto: Spare me. They had enough time and all they did was make me feel like crap, well, that's all over. I don't need their acceptance.

Naruto lies down to go to sleep for the night. In his sleep, Naruto is greeted by an old, imprisoned acquaintance. 

Kyuubi: You're mad aren't you, runt. That bastard father of yours told them to regard you as a hero and look how they treated you, like you had some sort of disease.

Naruto stands before the Kyuubi No Kitsune's prison look down silently.

Kyuubi: Well, isn't this a rare site? You actually don't have anything to say.

Naruto chuckles and raises his head to speak.

Naruto: Ya' know when Jiraiya drug me on this trip outta Konohagakure, I felt like a big cloud had been lifted off of the life of Naruto Uzumaki cuz gone were the days when I'd run up to Sakura and say "Hey, how bout you and me go grab some ramen?" just to hear "Get away from me, you loser!" or I'd run up to Sasuke and say, "Why don't we train a little bit, we're on the same team after all?" and he'd reply with a "Hmph." Then I'd go to Kakashi and beg "Please train me, I go the chunin exams comin' and I…" only for him to say "Naruto, I can't, I've got to train Sasuke and get him ready. Why don't you train with Ebisu so you can work on the basics?" He told me to train with Ebisu, a man who just might be more perverted than Ero-Sennin. There I am, floundering along, there's nothing going my way, cuz the people of the Konohagakure let their bullshit fears keep the greatest potential shinobi on the goddamn ground. What was I suppose to do? On one hand, they sent me on a bunch of missions; they let me go on a bunch of missions. On the other hand, I get back and despite saving the damn village from and goddamn sand demon they still treat me like a piece of trash. They say you are what you eat, in Konohagakure they fed me nothing but garbage, so that what I let myself become. As long as I had a mission, maybe still wasn't being treated with respect, but I became complacent. Then Sasuke delivers the shot heard 'round the damn world, he leaves and Naruto Uzumaki's without a team. They start sending me on pointless ass mission, with who? Let's see, ya' got Shino, ya' got Kiba, ya' got Neji, ya' got Bushy Brow, ya' got Choji, ya' got Shikamara, maro whatever the hell his name is. Ya' got a bunch of damn misfits, running 'round pretendin' to be shinobis. Naruto Uzumaki's here to be a shinobi, it's what I do best; it's what I do better than anyone in the whole world. There's no Kakashi's here, there's no Sakura's here, there damn sure isn't a Sasuke Uchiha. There's nobody that can hold Naruto Uzumaki back now, not Kakashi, not Tsunade, not Jiraiya, nobody.

Naruto looks the Kyuubi No Kitsune eyes as much as he can.

Naruto: I'm gonna to show everyone what a true shinobi is supposed to do. I'm gonna show everyone what a true shinobi is supposed to be, cuz there is no one, no one in Konohagakure that can stop me.

Kyuubi: If you're going to do all of that, then you're going to need my help, Naruto Uzumaki.

Naruto: I don't need your damn help!

Kyuubi: You don't have a choice.

End Flashback. Back in the Hokage's office.

Jiraiya: I hope I didn't make mistake in telling him, I figured that he'd become mature enough to handle it.

Tsunade: Let's hope so.

There was the sound of glass breaking and everyone stands up in surprise.

Tsunade: What was that?!

The door opened and Naruto walks in. Everyone looks at him, surprised that he was there. Naruto looks back at everyone.

Naruto: What?


	8. Two and A Half Years, What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Two and A Half Years. What!**

Jiraiya: What are you doing here?

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya flashes Naruto a look of annoyance.

Naruto: I never said I wasn't coming to the debriefing, I said you could start without me. Hell, ain't nothin' I done that you didn't know about, I told you, you perverted son of a bitch.

Tsunade: I oughta have you arrested for what you did.

Naruto: Hell, if you hadn't pissed me off I wouldn't have done all that.

Sakura: What did I do to piss you off?

Naruto: You hit me.

Sakura: After you insulted me.

Naruto: Hell, you were flirting with me.

Sakura: No, I wasn't! (Inner Sakura: Cha! I was, that bad ass thing was really turning me on.)

Naruto looks at Jiraiya.

Naruto: You tell her yet?

Jiraiya: No, I was waiting for you so that we could tell her.

Tsunade looks at the both of them puzzled.

Tsunade: What?

Naruto: That's my line, what! I can't believe you didn't tell her.

Tsunade: Tell me what?

Jiraiya: We fought two members of the Akatsuki.

Tsunade: Really?!

Naruto: Yeah, they weren't that hard to find. Hell, all we had to do was look for a couple of jackasses.

Tsunade: Do you know who they were?

Jiraiya: One called himself Hidan from Yugakure and the other one was Kakuzu of Takigakure.

Tsunade: Kakuzu? You mean…?

Jiraiya: Yes, the man that fought the first Hokage, he's still alive somehow.

Tsunade: Well, what happened?

Naruto: What do you think happened? I whipped their ass but there was a little problem.

Tsunade: What problem?

Naruto: The sons of bitches are immortal.

Tsunade: What?

Naruto: That's what I said; I said "What?" After I whipped his ass, I gave that son of a bitch, Hidan, a Number that broke son of a bitch's neck, I heard the damn thing snap and he just got up with his head hanging like a piece of trash. So I looked at him and pulled out two bottles of sake and handed one to him, then took a drink and I told him that he was a tough son of a bitch and that was a nice trick with the immortality thing but Naruto Uzumaki is gonna figure that immortality thing out sooner or later and when I do there's gonna be hell to pay, believe it cuz Naruto said so.

Tsunade: Then what happened?

Naruto: They said that I wasn't the Jinchuuriki they were assigned to and that they were only fighting me in self-defense. Then is seemed like someone was calling for them and they did the teleportation jutsu out of there.

Tsunade: Why did you go looking for them?

Naruto: Hell, cuz they were looking for me. So I asked myself, "Why don't I make this easier on everyone?"

Tsunade: Is there anything else you can tell up about them?

Naruto: What, other than they're just two pieces of trash?

Jiraiya: One thing I learned is that each member seems to be assigned to a specific bijuu (tailed demon beast), most likely the one that they match up the best against.

Naruto: So they must think that son of a bitch Itachi is the best match for me. Hell, if Itachi's the best they could, then I gave Akatsuki too much credit cuz the next time I see him I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in his ass, believe it! What! Cuz Naruto said so!

Glass breaks again and Naruto leaves.

Sakura: Naruto, wait!

Naruto doesn't hear Sakura and continues on.

Sakura: I didn't even get to tell him that Sasuke came back.

As Naruto moves through the village he realizes that he's approaching Ichiraku Ramen Shop.

Naruto: (to himself) If it one thing ol' Naruto Uzumaki likes more than sake, its ramen.

Naruto enters Ichiraku's and sits at the bar.

Ayame: I don't believe it, Naruto? I haven't seen you in forever. Father, look who just walked in.

Teuchi: Well, if it isn't my favorite customer. You've grown Naruto, how have you been?

Naruto: All right, I can't complain, how's everything been around here?

Teuchi: Okay, business has been steady seeing as someone took your spot.

Naruto: Who do you mean?

Teuchi: The heiress of the Hyuuga clan, Hinata Hyuuga.

Naruto: Really?

Ayame: Yes. Sometime after you left, she started to come here to eat with the same frequency as you did. You want to know the interesting part?

Naruto: Don't keep me in suspense.

Ayame: Whenever she spoke, she spoke of you.

Teuchi: I think she likes you.

Naruto: Why do you say that?

Ayame: Because it always seemed as if she was hoping that you'd walk in and sit down with her for a bowl of ramen, like life seemed a little less bearable without you around.

Naruto: Hmm.

Teuchi: Here you go Naruto, the usual.

Naruto: Thanks.

Naruto begins eats his ramen and then pays.

Naruto: Thanks.

Ayame: It was good seeing you.

Teuchi: Stop by anytime.

As Naruto continues to walk around, getting reacquainted with the village, he begins to think about the conversation he just had about Hinata. After walking around for a while, Naruto goes back to his apartment for the night. As Naruto sleeps, he pays another visit to the Kyuubi No Kitsune. 

Kyuubi: I saw that display earlier, nice. You almost raise as much hell as I did. What was the ramen shop all about, though? I thought you were going to show the people of Konohagakure a thing or two.

Naruto: You know as well as I do that they were always kind to me. I ain't gonna mess with them. Besides they got me thinking.

Kyuubi: About the Hyuuga girl?

Naruto: They said that they think she might like me.

Kyuubi: She does, you never noticed that she was stalking you?

Naruto: What?

Kyuubi: Yes, I notice these things cuz I'm not a complete jackass.

Naruto flips off Kyuubi.

Kyuubi: What do you plan on doing about the Hyuuga girl?

Naruto: Well, it's about time I get laid.

The Kyuubi No Kitsune gets uncharacteristically excited.

Kyuubi: Yes! Yes! Oh, god, yes!

Naruto looks at the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Kyuubi: What?

Naruto: That's what I'm thinking, I'm thinking what? Anyway, she's too timid. If she's gonna be my woman, I've got to break her of that.

Kyuubi: How?

Naruto: I've got an idea.


	9. Hinata Hyuuga What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Hinata Hyuuga. What!**

Naruto returns to the bar that he's now made infamous around the leaf village.

Naruto: Sake.

Bartender: (stuttering and visibly) Right away.

Naruto drinks some sake and plays some bar games. Then he remembers something he planned to do.

Naruto: (thinking) Damn, I meant to track Hinata down.

Naruto leaves after paying the bartender.

Bartender: (stuttering) Thanks and comeback.

Naruto walks around the village until he hears a familiar voice.

Kiba: Naruto!

Naruto: What?

Kiba: I heard you were back in the village, boy, you sure have changed.

Naruto: I could say the same to you and that monster you're riding on.

Kiba: Oh, you mean Akamaru?

Naruto: The damn thing looks like something Orochimaru made.

Kiba: Hey, lay off. So what have you been up to the last few years?

Naruto: Raisin' hell and drinking sake.

Kiba: Aren't you too young to be drinking sake?

Naruto: What?

Kiba: Too young to be drinking.

Remembering that he had more pressing business to attend to, Naruto resisted the urge to give Kiba a quick Number. He decides to make a mental note of what Kiba said.

Naruto: Listen, have you seen Hinata?

Kiba: Oh, she should be on her way back to the Hyuuga Estate. We just got finished training; if you hurry you may catch her.

Naruto: Thanks.

Naruto leaves Kiba and heads to the Hyuuga Estate remembering the plan he told Kyuubi to rid Hinata of her being so timid.

Naruto: (thinking) This should work.

Naruto finally spots Hinata.

Naruto: Hinata.

Hinata turns around to see who it is that calls her and is surprised to see that it's Naruto.

Hinata: Naruto?! (Thinking) I can't believe it; I heard that he was back. What do I do, he coming right for me?

Naruto: Hey.

Hinata: (blushing) Hello, Naruto.

Naruto: (thinking) It must be true, look and the way she's blushing.

Hinata blushes harder noticing how Naruto is examining her face.

Naruto: Follow me.

Naruto leads Hinata back to a secluded area of the village.

Hinata: Naruto, why did you lead me here?

Naruto: Hinata, the reason I lead you here was to tell you that I know.

Hinata: (stuttering) Know? Know, what?

Naruto: That you like me.

Hinata: I, I.

Hinata begins pushing her index fingers together.

Naruto: But there's one problem.

Hinata: What's that Naruto?

Naruto: You're a piece of trash!

Hinata is visibly shaken and a look of utter despair is plastered on her face.

Hinata: Naruto?

Naruto: You're a piece of trash. What! Look at ya'! What! You're scared! What! Timid! What! Even after years of being a shinob! What! You're still just a scared piece of trash. What!

Hinata is trembling; she puts her arms in front of her in an attempt to create a barrier between her and Naruto as she did when Neji berated her during the chuunin exams. She closes her eyes.

Hinata: (thinking) I can't believe that Naruto is treating me like this.

Naruto: Open your eyes! What! I want to see into them white sons of bitches, now open 'em!

Hinata opens her eyes and looks Naruto in his eyes.

Naruto: Now cut ya' little Byakugan on cuz I want you to see that I mean every bit of what I'm saying, now cut it on.

Hinata: Byakugan.

Naruto: Look at ya'! What! You're pathetic! What! I said you're pathetic! What! Ain't you a Hyuuga? What! A Hyuuga! What! The taijutsu masters of Konohagakure. What! But even with your special little taijutsu I bet I could knock your ass down with a feather. What!

Hinata start back up as she still can't believe that Naruto is treating her this way, she had heard about his behavior upon his return but she still couldn't believe that he was treating her like this.

Naruto: You stay your little ass right there cuz I ain't done saying what I got to say!

Hinata is almost reduced to tears as Naruto approaches her.

Naruto: If you're gonna be my woman, were gonna have to change all that.

Hinata looks and Naruto plants a soft kiss on her lips.

Hinata: What?

Naruto: Hell, you're on your way already.

Hinata still can't believe what Naruto just said.

Hinata: Did you say "if I'm gonna be you woman?"

Naruto: Yeah, but you're gonna have to cut all this timid crap out.

Hinata: What do you mean?

Naruto: Exactly what I said, anybody that's gonna be around ol' Naruto Uzumaki is gonna have to be ready when I start raisin' hell.

Hinata: But, I…

Naruto: Ain't no buts cuz you ain't got a choice in the matter, you're gonna be Naruto Uzumaki's woman so believe it, cuz Naruto said so!

Hinata is relieved and elated to hear Naruto's words. 

Hinata: (thinking) This is wonderful, I'm going to be Naruto's woman. I…

Hinata realizes what just happened and starts to faint but Naruto catches her before she falls unconscious.

Naruto: First ya' gonna stop this damn faintin' crap.

Hinata: Yes.


	10. My Woman What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**My Woman. What!**

Hinata: Um, Naruto?

Naruto: What?

Hinata: What should we do now?

Naruto: I'm thinking we should get to know each other better.

Hinata: How do you mean?

Naruto looks at Hinata up and down causing her to blush.

Naruto: Come with me.

Hinata: Where are we going?

Naruto: My place.

Hinata: Why?

Naruto: Hell, we could go to your place but I figured you'd want some privacy.

Hinata: (thinking) Privacy? What could we do that we need priva…?

Naruto notices Hinata beginning to blush.

Naruto: I'm glad you're getting the idea. Let's go.

Hinata: Okay.

Hinata: (thinking) I hope he enjoys this, I'll finally be able to put the techniques I learned while he was gone from those Secret Hyuuga pleasure scrolls I found in my mother's belongings to use. I was studying them to use on him, anyway.

Naruto and Hinata walk into Naruto's apartment, Hinata looks around as Naruto locks the door.

Hinata: (thinking) I've never been here before.

Naruto notices the look on Hinata's face.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: It's just that I've never been here before; it seems different from mine or my teammates.

Naruto: Hell, I guess that's cause I don't have a clan, but we could do somethin' 'bout that...

Hinata begins to blush again knowing what Naruto has in mind. Naruto leads her over to the bed and they shit down.

Naruto: So, where here all alone in this big ol' bed. I got a surprise for ya'.

Naruto whips it out on Hinata. Hinata's heart begins to race as she sees the size of Naruto and realizes that learning is one thing but performing is something totally different.

Hinata: (stuttering) What do you want me to do?

Naruto: What do you think I want you to do?

Hinata: (stuttering) It's just that I…

Naruto: How long you been wanting to be my woman and now you up here freezin' up?

Hinata: (stuttering) I just still feel kinda shy around you.

Naruto: Shy? Shy? Hell, I'm shy too, but ain't nobody here but me and you.

Hinata: (stuttering) Okay.

Naruto: Yea! Ay, ay, I want you to make the balls jiggle.

Hinata gets on her knees and take Naruto into her mouth. She slides her lips slowly down the length of Naruto until her nose is buried into his pubes and slowly slides it back.

Naruto: What? You can do that already?

Hinata takes Naruto out of her mouth to speak.

Hinata: To be honest, I used to practice on cucumbers while you were away. I wanted to be good for you.

Hinata resumes her previous course of action. As she runs her lips up and down Naruto's member, she massages the tip with her tongue and jiggles his balls. She takes it out and licks it from the base to the tip.

Hinata: Does it feel good, Naruto?

Hinata continues.

Naruto: Wha…? Does it feel goo…? Wha…! Damn! Shit! Wha...! Hina… You're good at…

Naruto notices a powerful feeling welling up inside him, he remembers something Jiraiya told him. Flashback.

Jiraiya: … and when you're about to cum you'll feel a force that you can't hold back but then again, you won't really want to. Unless it's a little early.

Naruto: Hell, how will I know if it's early?

Jiraiya: Don't worry, they'll let you know. They always let you know.

Jiraiya hangs his head down. End Flashback.

Naruto: Hinata, I'm about to cum!

Hinata pulls her lips back to the tip of Naruto's member in anticipation of Naruto's release. Naruto explodes into Hinata's mouth and Hinata swallows as much as she can. As she swallows, a feeling comes over Hinata and she receives a vision of what was, unknown to her, the Kyuubi No Kitsune. Hinata stands before the Kyuubi No Kitsune afraid while feeling a strange familiarity with it.

Kyuubi: Do you truly want be Naruto's.

Hinata: (stuttering) Yes.

Kyuubi: Then share my spirit with him and you'll be connected forever.

Hinata: (stuttering) Yes, thank you.

Hinata's vision changes to a miniature Kyuubi inside of the sun and she feels different than she did before, a feeling of strength, aggressiveness, and belligerence.

Naruto: Hinata!

Hinata returns to her senses.

Naruto: Did you hear me?

Hinata: What?

Naruto: I said that was good.

Hinata puts her hand on Naruto's cheek and now feeling like a new woman, she looks him in the eye as she never could before. 

Hinata: (seductively) If you thought that was good, wait 'til you try the _Secret_ Gentle Fist.

Naruto: The _Secret_ Gentle Fist?

Hinata: That's right, Naruto. I'm going to take you into the palm of my hands.

Hinata grabs Naruto's shaft and begins to stroke it. As Hinata strokes Naruto his erection returns and Hinata begins to stroke faster. Naruto begins to moan as Hinata reaches up and squeezes Naruto's nipple while sending a slight wave of charka through her fingertips. Naruto's breathing increases as he senses the burst. 

Naruto: What! I'm gonna cum! What!

Hinata pulls her hand back down and continues to release the chakra through the tip. Naruto, no longer able to hold himself back, lays his head back, raises his middle fingers into the air and let's himself go again. Naruto's shoots into Hinata's face, she begins laughing as she scrapes Naruto off her face with her fingers and licking her fingers clean.

Naruto: What are you laughin' at?

Hinata: I had you moaning like a bitch.

Naruto starts to realize the noises he was making, Naruto, blushing like Hinata would have just an hour ago, sits up and grabs Hinata by the collar.

Naruto: Don't you tell anybody I made those noises.

Hinata stops laughing and stares at Naruto with the most seriousness he'd ever seen on her face.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: Look, jackass, either get me off or get off me.

Naruto picks Hinata up a lays her on the bed and climbs on top of her. Before Naruto gets started Hinata stops him.

Hinata: Before you get started let's get one thing understood, if you're gonna make love to me then you better make sure it's good.

Naruto grins at Hinata.

Naruto: Hell, I only got one thing to say to that.

Hinata: What's that?

Naruto: If you want me to knock your socks off then give me a hell yeah.

Naruto sucking on Hinata's earlobe, slowly moving down to kiss on her neck making Hinata moan.

Hinata: (moaning) Hell yeah.

Hearing this, Naruto raises his upper body up looking into Hinata's eyes as if to say "You asked for this." Naruto rips open Hinata's jacket exposing her surprisingly large breasts.

Naruto: (thinking) Damn!

Naruto and Hinata begin kissing as they remove her jacket and undershirt, Naruto realizes that he's never undone a bra then it dawns on him that he'd never done any of this, he'd picked up women before but that was always just to show up Jiraiya. For the first time he was about to seal the deal. Hinata notices the look on Naruto's face and unhooks her bra for him.

Hinata: You've never done this before have you?

Naruto: Shut up.

Hinata: You shut the fuck up, now get movin'.

Naruto looks a Hinata.

Naruto: (thinking) Bitch.

Naruto reaches around Hinata and pulls her bra off noticing just how large her breasts really are.

Naruto: (thinking) Hell!

Naruto begins to suck on one of Hinata's breast as he massages the other one making Hinata resume her previous random cadence of moans. As Naruto sucks on Hinata's nipple he flicks it with his tongue increasing the sound and pace of Hinata's moans, Naruto switches breasts as Hinata continues to moan. Hinata pushes Naruto's head down.

Hinata: (moaning) Lower.

Naruto begins to kiss Hinata on her stomach moving further and further down. Naruto unzips Hinata's pants exposing her white cotton panties with a small Konohagakure symbol on them; upon further inspection Naruto notices gray damp spot between her legs.

Naruto: (thinking) This must be that "wet" thing that perverted ol' bastard told me 'bout.

Naruto kisses Hinata on her knee, he starts to move slowly up her thigh. When Naruto reaches the top, he takes hold of the gray are of her panties with his teeth, lifts her pelvis off of the bed and pull her panties off with his teeth. Flashback.

Jiraiya: Another thing, women really love it when you go down.

Naruto: Go down?

Jiraiya pulls out one of his Icha Icha books.

Jiraiya read this page.

Naruto reads the page.

Naruto: And doin' this uh…

Jiraiya: If you do this to a woman and do it right, she's gonna love ya'.

End flashback. Naruto sticks his index and middle fingers into Hinata causing her to gasp sharply, her barrier had long been broken due to her career as a kunoichi but she'd never had anything enter her before. As Naruto begins to finger her, he licks the lips of her vagina while reaching up to stroke Hinata's breasts changing her gasps back to moaning. The pace of Hinata's moaning increases as Naruto moves his fingers in and out of Hinata quicker and quicker. Naruto notices a small nub and remembers Jiraiya telling him about the clitoris being very sensitive.

Naruto: (thinking) This must be it.

Naruto takes his fingers out of Hinata but before Naruto can begin his next course of action, Hinata grabs his hand and sucks her essence off of Naruto's fingers.

Naruto: Are you done?

Hinata: Shut up.

Naruto: Keep running your mouth. I got a trick for ya' little ass right now.

Naruto spreads Hinata's nether lips to now fully expose her clit and gives it a soft lick making Hinata let out a soft moan. A smile stretches across Naruto's lips and he begins to flick his tongues quickly across Hinata's clit, Hinata's moaning and breathing quickens as she wraps her legs around Naruto's head and rubs the top of his skull. Naruto grabs Hinata's arms and pulls her forward until she is in a seated position with her torso above his head, Naruto stands up with Hinata on his shoulders.

Hinata: (through her moans and breath) Don't stop, Naruto, don't stop! Don't, don't, don…

Hinata screams as a wave of pleasure spreads throughout her body and she feels as if her insides were melting. 

Hinata: (screaming) Narutoooo!!!

The people passing by could hear Hinata's scream from outside.

Old man: Remember when I used to make you make those sounds.

Old woman: (smiling) As I recall, you made quite a bit of noises too.

Little boy: Hey, get some.

A young man turns to his girlfriend.

Young man: To answer your question, I can make you sound like that.

Outside Shikamaru and Choji pass by.

Choji: Wow.

Shikamaru: I was wondering what Naruto was getting into since they told me he was back, turns out it was Hinata.

Hinata (thinking) This must be what Kurenai-sensei told me about.

Flashback.

Kurenai: …when a man does it right, after a while you'll feel a sensation like no other.

Hinata: What does it feel like?

Kurenai blushes.

Kurenai: Well, for me, I feel hot and cold at the same time and my toes curl. I don't know what yours will feel like. Although you should only do it with the one you really want to be with, do you have anyone in mind?

Hinata looks down and pushes her index fingers together.

Hinata: I, I.

Kurenai: It's Naruto, isn't it?

Hinata begins to blush and Kurenai chuckles.

Kurenai: I thought so.

End Flashback.

Hinata: Circles, do circles.

Naruto licks her clit in a circular motion while her juices drip down his face onto his jacket. Naruto reaches down with one hand and takes off his pants and underwear. He then lowers her down to his waist and she helps him remove his jacket and shirt. Now she helps Naruto guide his tip to her opening, he kisses her as he lowers her until he feels some resistance from inside her. Hinata gasps, Naruto's finger were one thing but his member was whole different story, Naruto feels Hinata relaxing and he lowers her all the way on. He gives her a kiss.

Naruto: I wanna try this thing Ero-Sennin told me about. It's one of his original moves; he has a whole scroll full of 'em.

Hinata: What is it?

Naruto: He called it Toad Sage Squat Fuckin'.

Hinata: What?

Naruto: He didn't say the names were original. Ready?

Hinata: Yea.

Naruto lifts Hinata slightly and hops about a foot across the room, his landing drives Hinata down on his penis. 

Naruto: How'd that feel?

Hinata: Do it again.

Naruto now starts to hop around the room, land in wherever there's an empty space in the room. The loud thumping and noises that both of the lovers were making has now drawn a bit of a crowd outside.

Little girl: Father, I heard those noises coming from yours and mommy's room last night.

The little girls father starts to chuckle and he comes to a realization.

Little girl's father: Wait a minute; I was on a mission last night. That bitch, I knew it!

Ino walks up to meet Shikamaru and Choji.

Ino: Hey, guys. Is that coming from Naruto's place?

Shikamaru: Yeah.

Ino: Whoa, who is that in there with him?

Choji: Hinata.

Jiraiya: You mean that Hyuuga heiress?

The Ino-Shika-Cho Trio turns around to see Jiraiya who had just walked up.

Shikamaru: Lord Jiraiya? Yes, they've been at it for a while now.

Jiraiya: (thinking) Looks like I've taught him well.

Shikamaru: What are you doing in this part of the village?

Jiraiya: Lady Tsunade asked me to bring Naruto back to her office.

Back inside.

Hinata: (through her breathing and moaning) Naruto, Naruto, Naru…

Hinata's walls tighten around Naruto as she leans back in Naruto arms and clutches the back of his neck as she's overcome by a more powerful release than before. 

Naruto: Aaagh!!!

The tightness of Hinata causes Naruto to shoot his love into Hinata's womb. Naruto carries Hinata over to the bed and lays her down then lies down beside her as they look into each others eyes. Hinata begins to chuckle again.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: I still had you moaning like a bitch.

All Naruto could do was grin because he knew that as much as he made Hinata his woman, Hinata made him her man.

Naruto: You know you're gonna pay for that.

Hinata smile at Naruto.

Hinata: Bring it.

Naruto: What!

As the lovers prepare for another round someone knocks on Naruto's door.


	11. New Clothes What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**New Clothes. What!**

Naruto & Hinata: Damn it.

Hinata: Go see who the hell that is.

Naruto: Hell, I'm gonna do more than see who that is.

There's another knock as Naruto puts his pants back on.

Naruto: Wait!

Naruto gets his pants and goes to open the door. When Naruto opens the door he doesn't give the visitor a chance to speak, he gives them a toe tick to the stomach causing them to lean forward. Naruto turns and pulls their head to his should but his pushed forward. Naruto catches himself before falling and turns and sees that the visitor is none other than Jiraiya himself.

Jiraiya: And just what were you doing in here?

Naruto: What! What was I doin'? What! You want to know what I was doin'? What! Before you knocked. What! Before you so rudely interrupted us. What! Well, if you must know. What! What I was doin'. What! Before you knocked. What! I was doin' it. What! It! What! It! What! IT! What! I was doin' Hinata.

Naruto points towards Hinata and Jiraiya looks in a see Hinata still lying naked on Naruto's bed. Normally, Hinata would've died from embarrassment, but the Kyuubi's spirit has released her inhibitions.

Naruto: Cover yourself up! Now, where was I?

Jiraiya: You were do…

Naruto: What! We were doing the horizontal mambo. What! The beast with two backs. What! Bumpin' uglies. What! I was "stickin'" it to her real good. What! The real freaky jutsu. What!

Jiraiya: What?

Naruto: That's what I said, I said "WHAT!" And now you stand there with that stupid look on your face interruptin' us. What! Why? What! Why? What! What for? What!

Jiraiya: Lady Tsunade wants to see you.

Naruto: Hell, what does she want to see me for, didn't we already debrief?

Jiraiya: I don't know, she just said that she wanted to see you?

Naruto: Tell her I'll be there.

Jiraiya: When?

Naruto: When I get there.

Jiraiya: (whispering) Hey, did you do the Toad Sage Squat Fuck?

Naruto looks back at Hinata to make sure she couldn't hear them.

Naruto: (whispering) Yeah, she liked once we got into the groove of it.

Jiraiya: I knew that one would be a hit and it looks like you two have a few fans.

Jiraiya motions to the crowd still loitering around Naruto's apartment, Naruto steps out of the doorway to get a better look at what Jiraiya meant and is met with a round of applause and cheers. Naruto raises his two middle fingers high into the air as the crowd begins to cheer louder, Hinata comes to the door half-dressed and the male contingent of the crowd goes wild. The crowd begins to chant their names.

The crowd: (chanting) Na-ru-to! Hi-na-ta! Na-ru-to! Hi-na-ta!

Hinata: Wow, we're a hit.

Jiraiya: I'll say.

Naruto: You'll say what?

Jiraiya: That you're a…

Before Jiraiya can finish his sentence Naruto gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing him to lean forward, Naruto turns around and pulls Jiraiya's head to his shoulder and falls to a seated position on the ground causing Jiraiya to bounce into the air and land on his back half-conscious. Naruto crawls over Jiraiya until they're face to face.

Naruto: (shouting) That's what you get, that's what you get you son of a bitch. Don't you ever come up here interruptin' us again! You tell the Hokage's old ass that I'll get there when I get there and not a second sooner and you can believe it, 'cuz Naruto said so!

Naruto stands up and face the crowd, Naruto raises one hand and a catches a flying bottle of sake. Naruto raises his hand to catch another bottle of sake and hands it to Hinata, Naruto and Hinata toast to each other and pour the sake down there throats getting more on their chests than actually in there mouths while the crowd is still cheering. Hinata walks back into Naruto's apartment as Naruto turns to the crowd one more time and raises his bottle and the crowd explodes one last time before Naruto follows Hinata back inside. The sound of the door closing brings Jiraiya to.

Jiraiya: That son of a bitch did it again. I know what'll make me feel better, I'll do more research after I report back to the Hokage.

Inside Naruto's apartment Naruto explains that the Hokage wants to see him.

Naruto: The Hokage wants to see me.

Hinata: What for?

Naruto: Hell, I don't know.

Hinata: Now?

Naruto: I guess, you comin'?

Hinata: Yeah, but we've got to make a stop first.

Naruto: Where?

Hinata: To get some new clothes, you tore my jacket and you need something that doesn't scream jackass.

Naruto: Whatever.

Naruto puts on one of his black tee shirts and hands one to Hinata. He starts to put on his jacket but realizes that it's still soaked with Hinata's essence and puts it back.

Naruto: Now I really need new clothes, let's go.

As Naruto and Hinata are about to enter the tailor's shop, he sees a figure down the road that looks sort of looks like Sasuke from behind but dismisses it.

Naruto: Hell, I gotta lay of the sake.

Hinata: What's wrong?

Naruto: I thought I just saw Sasuke.

Hinata: You mean that jackass that left the village?

Naruto: Yeah.

Hinata: It might've been, he's back.

Naruto: What? He's back? What?

Hinata: Yeah, came back like a few months ago. Apparently, he's learned all he could learn from Orochimaru and came back.

Naruto: What? After all the hell I went through trying to bring him back and he's just gonna return. What? Wait 'til I get my hands on that son of a bitch.

Hinata: Wait, this is my family's personal tailor shop, they won't take long. An hour and half, tops.

Hinata and Naruto enter the shop and are greeted by the owner of the shop.

Shop owner: Ah, Ms. Hinata, I haven't seen you in a while.

Hinata: And now you have, congratu-fuckin'-lations.

The shop owner is surprised by Hinata's current manner of speech and attitude, she had always known the shy Hinata.

Shop Owner: (stuttering) What do we owe this honor?

Hinata glares at the shop owner.

Hinata: Why the hell else would I come see a tailor?

Naruto and Hinata give the shop owner their order and let the tailors take their measurements. After they were finished, they sat down in the waiting room, Naruto falls asleep and is pulled before the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Kyuubi: You're welcome.

Naruto: What the hell for?

Kyuubi: I helped her get rid of her meekness.

Naruto: How?

Kyuubi: When she swallowed your seed, I gave her some of my spirit as I did for you.

Naruto: So she can use you too?

Kyuubi: No, I merely gave her a new "attitude," so to speak.

Naruto: Hell, that explains the way she's been actin'. I thought it was strange that she'd be able to pull that 180 so fast. Wait, so she knows about you?

Kyuubi: Yes, I sent her a vision of me when she swallowed you.

Naruto: Hell, alls I can say is...

Naruto flips the Kyuubi No Kitsune off as a gesture a "thanks."

Kyuubi: (chuckling) As I said before, you're welcome. Brat.

Naruto is awoken by the Shop owner.

Shop owner: Excuse me, your clothes are ready.

Hinata: Well, it's about damn time. Were you able to handle my special requests?

Shop owner: Uh, yes ma'am.

Naruto: Requests?

Hinata: I told him to make some special additions to some of our clothes.

Naruto and Hinata took their clothes and head to the dressing room.

Shop owner: Uh, excuse me, Lady Hinata?

Hinata: What?

Shop owner: I'm sorry but we don't allow two people to occupy the same dressing room, especially male and female.

Naruto turns to the shop owner and stares him into the face.

Naruto: What? You tell me we can't go in? What? Together? What? Me and her? What?

The can shop owner can see the malice in Naruto's eyes and backs down.

Shop owner: Uh, I'm sorry, go right ahead.

Naruto's clothes consisted simply of a black tee-shirt with orange designs and lettering. Naruto's tee-shirt said "Other Side, Jackass" on the front and "Believe It" on the back. His clothes were completed with a pair of blue pants. Hinata had a yellow tee-shirt with the same symbol she saw in her vision of the fox in the sun and black pants. The Kyuubi's spirit gave Hinata a certain brashness, enough to move her to have her clothes form fitting and show off her curves as she would have never done previously due to her shyness. Hinata gives Naruto a wrapped package.

Hinata: Here, I had them make this special for you.

Naruto: What is it?

Hinata: It's a vest for when you go on missions and shit like that.

Naruto opens the package and unfolds a black vest with an orange spiky-haired skull on the back with the word "Kyuubi" above the skull and "Fueled" on the bottom. On the right pockets in the front were Uzumaki and the word "Outlaw" on the left. 

Naruto: What'd you get me this for?

Hinata: Just say "thank you," jackass.

Naruto: Call me a jackass again and I'm gonna lay into your ass right here.

Hinata walks up to Naruto, grabs him by the waste and kisses him on his neck.

Hinata: Is that a promise?

Naruto: Not right now, we got stuff to do.

Hinata: Like what?

Naruto: We gotta bring your stuff to my place and I gotta see what that old lady wants.

Naruto and Hinata gather their clothes and prepare to leave. Before they leave, Hinata turns to Naruto.

Hinata: Well?

Naruto: What?

Hinata: I know you don't expect me to pay him.

Naruto: Hell, I am I suppose to pay him? Hell, I been gone for two and a half years, training with that perverted bastard. Hell, I ain't done no missions, I ain't got no money.

Hinata flashes Naruto a dirty look.

Naruto: Don't look at me like that.

Hinata: Shut the fuck up!!!

Hinata approaches the shop owner.

Hinata: Put it on my family's tab.

Shop owner: Yes' ma'am.

Naruto walks up to the shop owner and extends his hand.

Naruto: I'm sorry 'bout all that stuff earlier.

The shop owner shakes Naruto's hand.

Shop owner: No need for apologies, sir.

The shop owner attempts to return to his duties but is stopped as Naruto is still holding on to his hand.

Naruto: What do ya' say we have a drink?

Before the shop owner can say anything, Naruto raises one hand and catches a flying bottle of sake and hands it to the shop owner, Naruto then repeats the process for his own bottle. Naruto raises his bottle to the shop owner but notices that the shop owner his hesitant.

Naruto: What the matter?

Shop owner: I…

Naruto: What? You don't like sake?

Shop owner: It's not that, its jus…

Naruto: What? Then what is it?

Shop owner: I can't d…

Naruto: What? You can't what? Drink my sake?

Shop owner: No, it's not…

Naruto: What? You can drink sake, but just not mine. What? What's wrong with mine? What? Is it nasty? What? Disgusting? What? Do I have diseases? What? Germs? What? Is that it?

Shop owner: No.

Naruto: Then what is it?

Shop owner: It's nothing.

Naruto: Then drink the damn sake.

Naruto drinks his sake followed by the shop owner. As the shop owner leans his head back to drink, Naruto gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over. Naruto turns and pulls the shop owner's head to his shoulder and falls to a seated position to the floor.

Hinata: (thinking) I get the feeling that he does that a lot.

As the shop owner falls to his back, Naruto climbs over him until they're face to face.

Naruto: (shouting) That's what you get! That's what you get, you son of a bitch! Don't you ever try to stop Naruto Uzumaki cuz I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want so believe cuz Naruto said so!

After his tirade, Naruto heads out of the door followed by Hinata.


	12. What Is It Now What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**What Is It Now? What!**

Naruto decides to meet the hokage before going with Hinata to her house, if for nothing else, he won't feel like doing anything else after moving her things. Along the way, Naruto and Hinata notice other people staring at them. Unbeknownst to them, news of their earlier session has spread somewhat quickly around the village and Naruto has acquired a new female fan base and the men are just astonished that Naruto was able to do that. The people whisper amongst themselves.

Young woman #1: Wow, he made her scream like that?

Young woman #2: Yeah, they were at it for a long time, too.

Young man: Damn, I didn't know Hinata had such a great body.

Old man: I didn't know that boy had it in him.

Hinata is becoming annoyed with the looks that the women are giving Naruto.

Hinata: I'm gonna Gentle Fist one of these bitches to hell if they don't quite staring at you.

Naruto: You need to calm down. Hell, it's only natural…

Naruto notices one of the men in the crowd looking at Hinata in a manner Naruto didn't appreciate.

Naruto: What the hell are you starin' at?! You better get control of you little eyeballs, son, or I'm…

Naruto starts to approach the man but Hinata grabs his arm, smirking at him.

Hinata: You need to calm down. Hell, it's only natural.

Naruto stares back at Hinata in annoyance.

Naruto: Let's go.

Lady Tsunade, Shizune, and Sakura heard that sound of glass shattering.

Sakura: Did anyone else hear that?

Naruto and Hinata walk into the office to find the trio. Tsunade and Shizune were shocked to see Hinata with him and the way she was dressed. Sakura however had heard about Naruto and Hinata's earlier episode from Ino. Flashback.

Ino: Did you hear?

Sakura: Hear? Hear what?

Ino: About Naruto and Hinata?

Sakura: No, what happened?

Ino: They were, uh, how can I say this? They were…

Ino begins to blush and Sakura realizes what Ino was getting at.

Sakura: Really?!

Ino: Yeah, they were going at it for a while too. He must've been good, too, because she was making all kind of noises and screaming his name like it was the only word she new.

Sakura: I can't believe it. How do you know?

Ino: Shikamaru, Choji, and I were walking past his house when we noticed a crowd gathered outside. When we approached the crowd we could hear the noises and screams coming from his apartment.

Sakura: Wow.

End flashback.

Tsundae: What took you so long and what is Hinata doing here?

Naruto: None of your damn business, now what the hell do you want?

A familiar voice comes from outside the window.

Voice: She brought you here to tell you that she's reforming our team.

Naruto: Who the hell is that?

Naruto walks towards heads toward the window and pokes his head out to see Kakashi sitting outside reading the new installment of the Icha Icha series that Jiraiya gave him. Naruto brings his head back into the office and stares Tsunade down.

Naruto: So you're reformin' the team, huh? Hell, who's gonna be our fourth?

Tsunade: He should've been here by now. I don't know what's keeping him.

Naruto: Hell, it ain't that son of bitch Sasuke, is it?

Tsunade: Yes.

Sakura: How did you know he was back?

Naruto: Hell, Hinata told me after I saw that son of a bitch walkin' through the village. Anyway I don't want him, put Hinata on our team.

Tsunade: I can't do that Naruto.

Naruto: What? Why the hell not?

Tsunade: Because she already on another team.

Naruto: Hell, switch them.

Tsunade: I can't do that because it would create an imbalance, they'd 3 males and you'd be one male and 2 female.

Naruto: No it wouldn't, Hinata's got more balls than he does any day of the week.

Kakashi enters the office through the window.

Kakashi: Naruto, you ha…

Naruto: What?

Kakashi: You have…

Naruto: What?

Kakashi: You have to…

Naruto: What? I have to what?

Kakashi: You have to calm down.

Naruto: I have to calm down? What! I am calm. What! I just don't want that son of a bitch on my team. He done turned on us once, who's to say that son of a bitch won't turn on us again. Besides, when Naruto Uzumaki's in the house, Sasuke Uchiha's at his house, so I don't think he'll join anyway. That chicken ain't brave enough, believe it.

Sakura: Wait, did you just call Sasuke a chicken?

Naruto: Sasuke Uchiha doesn't qualify as a chicken, he's the slimy substance that runs out of the south end of a chicken. Let me make myself clear, if you put the first three letters of the word "shinobi" in front of the letter "t," you'll have exact thoughts on Sasuke Uchiha.

Voice: Is that so, loser?

Naruto turns around to see Sasuke in the doorway with two ANBU stand behind him.

Naruto: Yeah, you're a jackass, go on ahead and believe it.

Sasuke walks past Naruto toward Tsunade's desk.

Sasuke: Whatever. Lady Hokage, what did you want to see me about?

Tsunade: I wanted to tell you that effective at the end of you punishment, I will be reforming Team Kakashi.

Naruto: So, is that all you got to say to me.

Tsunade: I wanted to tell you that I have something important for you to do.

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: The Land of Fire daimyo is coming in for a meeting and I wanted to put on a showcase for him.

Naruto: Hell, what does that have to do with me?

Tsunade: Well, I wanted put on a tournament to show off our shinobi to him and his friends. It could mean more valuable missions in the future.

Naruto: You still haven't told me what this has to do with me.

Tsunade: Jiraiya has told me of you development and I want you to be apart of it.

Naruto: Hell, why should I?

Tsunade: Well, seeing as you're still one of the only genin of your class and you just missed the recent chunin exams, you can consider this your exam. If you win you pass.

Naruto: If? What? What do you mean "if?" Hell, I'm goin' into that tournament and I'm gonna raise some hell and I'm gonna be a chunin, believe it cuz Naruto said so.

The sound of glass shattering can be heard as Naruto and Hinata take their leave.

Sakura: I wonder if that's normal.

Tsunade: I didn't even tell him when the tournament is.

Outside Hinata turns to Naruto.

Hinata: Where to next?

Naruto: I'm hungry. Hell, let's go to Ichiraku's

Hinata: (sighs) Ramen, is that all you eat?


	13. My Place What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**My Place. What!**

After leaving Ichiraku's, Naruto and Hinata head to her house to pick up what she needed.

Naruto: What do you need to get?

Hinata: My underwear and some personal things.

Along the way, the couple continues to receive looks from the other villagers but decide to ignore them as it was getting late and they had plans for each other for later. 

Hinata: So, what have you been up to since you left?

Naruto: Hell, drinkin' sake and raisin' hell. What about you?

Hinata: Well, I can tell you this much, I wasn't waitin' for your sorry ass to come back.

Naruto begins to chuckle at Hinata's bravado.

Hinata: What the hell are you laughing at?

Naruto: Hell, Ayame and her father told me how sick you looked at Ichiraku's, and when did you start eatin' ramen, anyway?

Hinata: (blushing) Oh, about two months past "shut the fuck up!"

Naruto begins laughing as he can see that he has Hinata flustered for the first time since he came back to the village.

Naruto: Hey, I get it, I get it. Hell, man, look at me.

Hinata: You think you're a bad ass, don't you?

Naruto: No.

Hinata looks at Naruto shocked from his answer.

Naruto: I _know_ I'm a bad _motherfucker_.

Hinata leans over to whisper in Naruto's ear.

Hinata: Wait 'til I get a hold of you tonight.

Naruto: Hell, I can't wait. So, anyway, your father still acts like a jackass to you?

Hinata: He's cool now, he's still a dick, though.

Naruto: What about Neji?

Hinata: He just follows father's lead.

Naruto: Just so I know, they ain't gonna have a problem with you stayin' with me, are they?

Hinata: Why, scared?

Naruto: What?

Hinata: Nothing.

Voice: Hey, Naruto!

Naruto and Hinata turn around to see Shikamaru catching up to them.

Naruto: What is it?

Shikamaru: I'm helping to organize the tournament for the Land of Fire's daimyo and the hokage sent me to tell that the tournament will be in two days.

Naruto: Hell, who's gonna be in it?

Shikamaru: Well, it's just a four-man tournament and besides you, it's gonna be Rock Lee, Guy-sensei, and Genma Shirunai.

Naruto: Is that all?

Shikamaru: Yeah, how have you been?

Naruto: Hell, man, just drinkin' sake and raisin' hell.

Shikamaru: I hear about what you did when you came back, I still can't believe it.

Naruto: Hell, they had it comin.'

Shikamaru: What did they do?

Naruto: They tried to tell me what to do, no one tells Naruto Uzumaki what to do.

Shikamaru: Hm, I guess. Well, I've gotta get moving, it was good seeing you. Later. Later, Hinata.

Hinata: I'm curious, why didn't you Numb him?

Naruto: Cuz he didn't piss me off, let's go.

Naruto and Hinata arrive at her house. Upon entering, Hinata is surprised that her father isn't home this late in the day.

Hinata: I wonder where the hell he is. Oh, well, wait here and I'll be back.

Hinata leaves Naruto in the living room of her clan's home. Five minutes go by as Naruto continues to wait in the living room when the front door opens and in walk Hinata's father, Hiashi Hyuuga.

Hiashi: And just who are you? Wait, you're one of Kakashi's students, are you not?

Naruto: The name is Naruto Uzumaki.

Hiashi: Well, in any case, what is your business here?

Naruto: I'm taking Hinata back to my place.

Hiashi: What?

Naruto: Hey, it's catchin' on.

Hiashi is now becoming visibly upset with Naruto.

Hiashi: Hinata!

Hinata enters the living room with the things her necessities packed.

Hiashi: What does this boy mean when he says "he's taking you to his place?"

Hinata: I'm gonna stay with him for a few days, what of it?

Hiashi: "What of it?" I forbid it, especially with this delinquent!

Hinata: I don't care if you forbid it, besides, I don't even remember askin' permission, anyway.

Naruto: And just who the hell you callin' "delinquent?!" Listen here, son, you're startin to piss ol' Naruto Uzumaki off and I'm…

Hinata: I'll handle this, Naruto.

Naruto sees the determination in Hinata's face and decides to back off but not without shooting Hiashi a double middle finger.

Hiashi: Now, see here, you little…

Hinata: Father!

Hiashi turns his attentions to Hinata.

Hinata: I'm gonna stay with him and that's that. Anyway, who are you to be tellin' me what to do? A few years ago, you wouldn't have given a shit anyway, you think that treating me nice for a couple of years makes up for treatin' me like shit for all these years? You only treated me better 'cuz I did better on missions and even then you still treat Neji better than me, so don't start actin' all high and mighty.

Naruto: What!

Hiashi is left speechless as Hinata and Naruto leaves, then a smile spreads across his lips.

Hiashi: Wait.

Hinata and Naruto stop and turn to the clan leader.

Hiashi: If this boy is the cause of your new spirit, then I will not deny your interactions with him.

Hinata nods to her father. Hiashi looks at Naruto with a look of pure disdain.

Hiashi: But you, disrespect me in my house like that again and the next time I'll be forced to take action.

Naruto: Hell, son, we ain't gotta wait 'til next time. We can…

Hinata: Naruto!

Naruto turns to Hinata.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: Calm down, that is my father, after all. Besides, we have plans.

Naruto realizes what Hinata is referring to and decides to leave without getting into a fight with the leader of the Hyuuga.

Naruto: Hell, I guess it'll be next time, old man.

Hinata: I'll be back in a few days.

On the way to Naruto's apartment, Naruto and Hinata run into Neji.

Neji: Where do you think you two are going?

Hinata: I'm going to stay with Naruto for a couple of days.

Neji: Does your father know?

Hinata: Yes, I just told him.

Neji: Very well. You've been a busy man since you've returned, Naruto.

Naruto: Hell, I'm just livin' the dream kid.

Neji: And just what dream would that be?

Naruto: Drinkin' sake and raisin' hell.

Neji: Does that include assaulting the hokage?

Naruto: Hell, they had it comin'.

Neji: What did they do?

Naruto: Like I told Shikamaru, they tried to tell me what to do. Nobody tells Naruto Uzumaki what to do.

Neji: In any case, if you're good enough to do what you did to Lady Tsunade, Lord Jiraiya, and the ANBU, then I should like to spar with you sometime.

Naruto: Whenever.

Neji: Well then, I'll leave you two to it.

Hinata: Good-bye.

Naruto and Hinata continue on to Naruto's apartment. Along the way Naruto notices that certain feelings arise that he never had before when he looked at Hinata. The only thing he could compare it to was the feelings he used to have for Sakura but it was different.

Hinata: What the fuck are you lookin' at?

Naruto: What? Uh, what? Nothin'.

Naruto couldn't quit place the feeling, but one thing he noticed was that when he was with Hinata, he didn't feel as on edge. After ten more minutes of walking, they reach Naruto's apartment. After entering the apartment, Hinata unpacks her things then joins Naruto, who was looking out of his bedroom window shirtless with a bottle of sake. Naruto turns to her and she notices that Naruto was staring at her with the same look he had while they were walking earlier. Hinata approaches Naruto and drapes her arms on his shoulder, clasping her hands behind his neck. Naruto and Hinata stand there staring in each other's eyes, Naruto is now overwhelmed with his earlier feelings and he now realizes what it is, he's actually in love. He didn't like it and Hinata could see it Naruto's face.

Hinata: What's wrong?

Naruto wants to tell her but can't.

Naruto: Nothin'.

Hinata: Well, are you gonna stand here bullshittin' or are we gonna get down to business?

Naruto: I think business is about to pick up but we're gonna have to be quiet.

Hinata: Why?

Naruto: Cuz the only ass I wanna put my hands on right now is yours.

Naruto takes a swig of sake and smiles at Hinata. The couple starts kissing as Naruto lifts Hinata up into his torso by her hamstrings. Hinata begins moaning as Naruto massages her tongue with his while carrying her over to the bed. Naruto lays Hinata on the bed, as Hinata lies on the bed Naruto stands up and puts his bottle of sake on the dresser next to his bed, Hinata takes her shirt off and playfully tosses it in Naruto's face. Naruto takes her shirt and tosses it to the floor but is taken by surprise as Hinata's bra flies in his face next. After tossing Hinata's bra to the floor, Naruto pulls Hinata's pants and underwear off to the floor. Naruto climbs over Hinata and they begins to kiss each other passionately, after a minute or two of making out and heavy petting, the couple pulls apart for a breathe. Naruto takes this opportunity to reach for his bottle of sake on the dresser.

Naruto: Lay back.

Hinata lays back on the bed as Naruto pours his sake from Hinata's neck to her vagina, Naruto begins to lick the sake off of Hinata slowly until he got to her vagina. Naruto then lifts Hinata's leg and then bends her knees and takes his sake and pours it down the front of her knee causing it to run down her shin, on top of her foot as he sucks the sake off of her big toe. When the sake finally runs out, Naruto begins to suck and lick each of Hinata toes. Flashback.

Jiraiya: Women like getting their toes sucked.

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya: Yeah, I know but you'd be surprises how willing women become once you do that.

Naruto: You know, you're one nasty son of a bitch.

Jiraiya begins laughing wildly.

Jiraiya: That's what the ladies tell me.

End flashback. As Naruto continues to suck Hinata's toes, she lays her head back while speaking to Naruto. She remembers a conversation she had with Kurenai while Naruto was gone.

Hinata: Oh, keep suckin', Naruto. Keep suckin'.

Flashback. 

Kurenai: I love to get my toes sucked.

Hinata: So does Asuma-sensei do that for you?

Kurenai: No, the only thing he'll suck on is one of those cigarettes of his.

End flashback. Naruto stops sucking Hinata's toes and works his way up her leg, kissing her inner thigh as he heads towards her womanhood. When Naruto reaches his destination, he lifts one of her legs over his shoulder and kissed her lips. Naruto starts to lick her lips causing Hinata to writhe in Naruto's bed. Hinata begins to moan Naruto runs his tongue over her lips over and over again, as he did earlier, Naruto takes his thumbs and spreads Hinata's vagina apart to expose her clit. Upon locating her clit, Naruto begins to flick his tongue over it quicker and quicker causing Hinata to writhe and moan harder and more constant as waves of pleasure begins to wash over her body. Hinata's lavender tinted eyes roll into the back of her head as she feels her release is eminent. 

Hinata: Naruto! Naruto! Narut…

Hinata clutches the bed sheets as she lets herself go, Naruto licks up Hinata's juices.

Naruto: Hell, if we bottle this then I'd be richer than that perverted bastard.

Hinata cracks a smile.

Hinata: Shut up. Besides, it's my turn.

Hinata stands Naruto up and undoes his pants, letting them fall to the floor around his ankles. Hinata kisses the now exposed bulge in Naruto's shorts before removing them. As Naruto steps out of his pants, Hinata begins to stroke Naruto and looks up at him. 

Hinata: You know that there is more to the Secret Gentle Fist, right?

Naruto: What?

Hinata: Byakugan! Eight Trigrams Love Palm!

Using the Eight Trigrams Love Palm, Hinata redirects Naruto's charka flow to his penis adding to his erection and making it more sensitive. Hinata turns Naruto around and pushes him on the bed, she kneels betweens Naruto's legs once again stroking his member. With the Eight Trigrams Love Palm, even Hinata's stroking his causing Naruto intense pleasure. 

Hinata: I told you that you were in trouble when I got a hold of you, didn't I?

Hinata spits on the tip of Naruto and massages it all over Naruto's member while working up saliva in her mouth, she remembered that Kurenai told her that it makes a man enjoy getting his member sucked even more. Hinata licks Naruto's tip a couple of time before wrapping her lips around it and deep throating him. She begins to run her lips up and down his member over and over again while her tongue whirled around Naruto's tip now causing Naruto to writhe in bed much as she had earlier, Naruto tried to clutch the back of Hinata's head but she grabbed his hand and forced him to place them under his body, giving Hinata total control of the situation. Strangely enough to Naruto, being controlled by Hinata heightened the pleasure for him but he was careful not to make any noises or actions that would allow Hinata to show him up later on as she did earlier. Soon, Naruto was no longer able to hold himself back as the pleasure became too much for him. Naruto tilted his back and took his hands from under him and raised his middle fingers. Hinata remembered what it meant when Naruto did this from earlier and prepares to swallow his seed. 

Naruto: Oh, hell yeah!

Naruto releases himself into Hinata's mouth, Hinata swallows Naruto and is once again pulled before the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Kyuubi: I have watched you from inside this brat and you have proven to be able to handle my spirit and to be a compatible mate with him, while I am unable to give you any of my chakra, take more of my spirit. Now my spirit is split in half between the two of you meaning that there will never be a better match for either of you than each other.

Hinata is pulled back out of her vision as Naruto sits up in the bed, Hinata pushes him back down on to the bed.

Hinata: Stay there.

Hinata climbs up on to the bed, straddling Naruto. Hinata takes Naruto's member which never lost it's erection, lifts herself and places it at her entrance. Hinata slowly lowers herself onto Naruto's pelvis, she takes a second to settle herself and then grinds and gyrates her hips on Naruto. Naruto attempts to grabs her by the hips, but Hinata once again grabs his hands and places them beneath his body giving her control over him for a second time. Hinata now positions her feet at the sides of Naruto and starts to slide herself up and down on Naruto's member as her juices flow out of her, soaking Naruto and his bed sheets. The combination of the Hinata sensation he feels from Hinata, her dominance of him, and the effects of the Eight Trigrams Love Palm gives Naruto so much pleasure that he can't see straight. Naruto struggled to hold himself but couldn't and explodes within Hinata, feeling Naruto's warmth leaking inside of her triggers her own release.

Hinata: Naruto!!!

Hinata's body goes limp and she falls to Naruto's chest.


	14. Naruto's Ninja Way What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Naruto's Ninja Way. What!**

Naruto: Watch out.

Naruto pushes Hinata off of him and climbs out of bed.

Hinata: Where the hell are you goin'?

Naruto: To take a shower, change the sheets.

Naruto grabs some soap and heads for the bathroom. 

Hinata: Who the hell does he think he is, order me around?

Hinata takes the sheets out of Naruto's bed and tosses them into the dirty clothes hamper. Next, she grabs some sheets from his linen closet and covers his bed with them. While in the shower, Naruto begins thinking to himself.

Naruto: (thinking) What the fuck? Am I really in love?

Voice: Seems that way, brat.

Naruto is pulled before the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Naruto: What?

Kyuubi: I told you that you two were connected, what did you think I meant?

Naruto: Fourth Hokage, man. I didn't know you meant this. Do you know how annoyin' this is?

Kyuubi: Just go with it.

Naruto: At least that explains why I let her talk to me like that.

Naruto snaps out of it as Hinata jumps in the shower with him.

Naruto: What are you doin'?

Hinata: You're using all the hot water, jackass.

Hinata and Naruto shower together when Hinata hands Naruto her loofah. 

Hinata: Here, do my back.

Naruto takes the loofah and gently scrubs Hinata's back. 

Hinata: Don't forget my lower back.

Naruto moves his scrubbing lower to Hinata's lower back catching a glimpse of Hinata's well-manicured backside. As Naruto scrubs her lower back, Hinata feels something poking her back. Shocked, she looks back to investigate, she is quickly met with a kiss from Naruto. From behind, Naruto massages Hinata's breasts and clit, Hinata moans as their tongues dance and she reaches back and the back of Naruto's head. The sensation of Naruto's fingers and the water cascading down her body from her chest to her vagina causes her to climax. Hinata leans her head back on Naruto's shoulder as he kisses her neck, Naruto turns her around and pushes Hinata up against the wall, firmly kissing her on her lips, neck, and chin. Naruto reaches down and grabs the back of Hinata's knees and lifts her up on the wall, spreading her legs apart exposing her vagina. She reaches down and places Naruto at her entrance, Naruto kisses her as he enters her. Naruto begins thrusting into Hinata fiercely, pumping harder and faster and deeper within Hinata. Hinata can't take it as she let's herself go for the second time in a matter of minutes, her walls constrict around Naruto causing him to release. Hinata lets Hinata down but they embrace each other as they catch their breath, until the hot water runs out causing Hinata to let out a shriek.

Naruto: Fourth Hokage, that's cold.

The couple jumps out of the shower and get ready for bed which didn't take long as Hinata stops Naruto before he began to put his underwear.

Hinata: Oh, I wouldn't do that. Cuz unless I'm wrong…

Hinata wraps her arm around Naruto and plants one on his lips.

Hinata: …we're in for in for one wild night.

Two days later. The tournament begins in the arena where the Chunin Exams third round was held. Tsunade, Jiraiya, and the Land of Fire's daimyo look down as Iruka announces the tournament. 

Iruka: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the King of Shinobi tournament.

Genma enters the crowded arena and bows to the Hokage and Daimyo, the sound of glass breaking was heard by everyone in the arena as Naruto enters the arena wearing the black vest that Hinata got for him, he didn't bow. 

Genma: What are you doing wearing that vest, aren't you still a genin?

Naruto: Hell, son, you gonna take it off of me?

Genma: Right after I beat you.

Naruto: I don't know 'bout that, but there is one thing you could do.

Genma: Oh, yeah? What's that?

Naruto: You can get your ass out of the arena while he announces my name, because my name is Naruto Uzumaki, and today for a very, very short while, your name is Sasuke Uchiha.

Iruka: (thinking) What's happened to Naruto. Those pranks he used to pull were one thing but the things he's done since he's come back are surprising.

Naruto: Hey, Iruka-sensei, you gonna start this thing or what?

Iruka: Oh, right. The Shinobi in this battle will be Genma Shirunai and Naruto Uzumaki. Begin!

The crowd watches as Naruto and Genma square off. Genma charges Naruto and catches him with a right hand to that that busted Naruto's lip. Naruto stare Genma in the eye and then disappears from sight. The shinobi in the crowd were astonished that Naruto new the Body Flicker Jutsu.

Tsunade: Did you teach him that?

Jiraiya: Not exactly, he learned it on his on when he found his father's jutsu scroll. He hasn't even scratched the surface yet, he has a whole different jutsu set than he did before.

Genma is scanning around for Naruto.

Genma: Where'd he go? Where is he?

Genma turns around and is surprised to see to middle fingers in his face.

Genma: What?

Naruto: Exactly!

Naruto gives Genma a toe kick to the stomach causing him to lean forward, Naruto turns around and grabs Genma's head and pulls it to his shoulder, then falls to a seated position. The force causes Genma to bounce seven feet into the air landing on his back unconscious. Climbs over Genma until he hovers over him face to face.

Naruto: That's what you get! That's what you get, you son of a bitch! Don't you ever try to tell Naruto Uzumaki what to wear, I wear what I want when I want!

Seeing that Genma was unconscious Iruka called the match.

Iruka: The winner is Naruto Uzumaki.

Naruto raises both of his middle fingers in the air and leaves the arena. Naruto meets Hinata in the back who makes fun of him.

Hinata: How the hell did he land one? Aren't you supposed to be a bad motherfucker?

Naruto: I won the match, didn't I?

While Naruto was in the back, the match between Gai and Rock Lee was about to begin. Before the match Gai decided to say something to the crowd.

Gai: Ladies and gentlemen, what you're about to see is a display of hot-bloodedness between me and my dearest student, Rock Lee.

Rock Lee salutes the crowd.

Gai: Though the shinobi that won the match before us show considerable skill, I have watched him since his return to the village and according to my Own Rulebook, he burns with neither the will of fire of youth. But I say to you, not matter who wins this match we will go on to the finals and teach him the virtues of our nindo with our fists of love and if he follows our influence then we will shed a tear. Ha Ha!

Gai and Lee gives "Nice Guy Thumbs Up" pose complete with the incredibly shiny teeth.

Gai & Lee's teeth: Ping!

The crowd went quiet as the wind blew a tumble weed across the arena.

Iruka: Begin!

The match was one of Gai's and Lee's usual unbelievable displays of taijutsu mastery, the speed and strength they show left the spectators speechless. Lee began to show his development as he was able to press Gai into retreating but made a mistake when he went for a final charge as Gai showed his wiliness and sidestepped Lee and giving him a well-placed blow, knocking him out. There was a brief intermission between the matches to give Gai a reprieve, Shikamaru came back to see Naruto and ask him where he'd learn his new jutsu. During their conversation, Shikamaru told him of the speech that Gai gave before his match with Lee.

Naruto: Oh, he said that, did he?

Shikamaru: Yep, those guys and their antics are troublesome sometimes.

The time for Naruto's match with Gai, the two shinobi squared off in the arena. Gai placed his hands on his hips and began to speak to Naruto.

Gai: Naruto, since you've returned to the village, you haven't been behaving youthfully. I challenge you to be a "Nice Guy."

Gai gives Naruto the same pose as he did before.

Naruto: Fourth Hokage, son, you got your little challenge, you think you're big and tough. You stand up there all jacked up. I got some challenges for you. I challenge you to get a decent haircut! Since you are a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode.

Iruka had a smirk on his face after hearing Naruto's reply.

Iruka: Begin!

Gai stands in his usual strong fist stance as Naruto merely stares at him menacingly with his steel blue eyes. Gai makes the first with a Dynamic Entry that Naruto deflects, Gai lands and throws a right-hand that Naruto deflects with his left and throws a right of his own that, surprisingly, Gai was unable to deflect and sent him flying. Naruto's punch felt to Gai as if Naruto was trying to take his head off, the shinobi in the crowd that new better were taken aback that someone seems to be besting Gai at taijutsu. 

Gai: (thinking) I've never been hit that hard before.

Gai catches his balance and stands up looking at Naruto across the arena.

Gai: Ha Ha, that was a good punch, but now I…

Before Gai can finish his sentence Naruto uses the Body Flicker Jutsu and disappears only to reappear in front of Gai.

Gai: What!

Naruto: It's spreading like wildfire.

Naruto jumps toward Gai's upper body, knocking Gai over while Naruto lands on top of him. Naruto begins punching Gai in the face furiously. Naruto gets up and a clone the no one saw Naruto create comes stomping towards Gai while flashing middle fingers towards the crowd and drops its elbow on Gai's sternum. Another clone comes in and stomps Gai three times, reaches down to flip him off and stomps him one more time. Naruto disappears from plain view and Gai staggers back up to his feet. Gai, as Genma did earlier, scans the arena looking for Naruto. Naruto comes running up from behind him and jumps into the air, dropping leg on the back of Gai's neck like a guillotine. As Gai goes down, another clone appears with it arm sticking straight out rigidly catching Gai's neck causing Gai to pop back up to his feet staggering. Gai turns around as he's staggering and Naruto gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing Gai to bend forward, Naruto turns around, pulls Gai's head to his shoulder a falls to seated position on the ground. This was by far Naruto strongest Nine-Tailed Number as it causes Gai to bounce over Iruka's head. Naruto doesn't even bother to trash talk Gai, he just raises his middle fingers in the air as Iruka calls the match.

Iruka: The winner of the match and the King of Shinobi is Naruto Uzumaki.

The crowd cheers for Naruto as Naruto stomps around the arena spewing venom.

Naruto: If you think Naruto Uzumaki's the baddest shinobi in the world, you got that shit right!

The shinobi that knew Naruto are surprised, they knew Naruto was skilled but this like a whole different Naruto.

Neji: Incredible!

Tenten: Unbelievable

Shikamaru: Wow, Naruto has really come far.

Ino: Naruto's amazing.

Kiba: What the hell was he doing since he was gone?

Iruka: Such force, and without any visible effort.

Kakashi: Naruto has really grown as a shinobi, but as a person, that a whole different story.

As the medic-nin on hand take guy to the back, Naruto decides to give a speech of his own.

Naruto: The first thing I want be done is to get that piece of crap out of my arena! Don't just get him out of the arena, get him out of the village, because I've proven son, without a shadow of a doubt that you ain't got what it takes anymore. You sit there and you thump rulebook and you strike your poses, and it didn't get you anywhere. Talk about youth. Talk about you ninja way, Naruto's Ninja Way says: I've outfoxed your ass!! All he's gotta do is buy himself a cheap bottle of sake, and try to dig back some of that courage, he had in his prime. As the King of the Shinobi, I'm serving notice to every one of the Konohagakure shinobi. I don't give a damn what they are, they are all on the list, and that is Naruto's list, and I'm fixing to start running through all of them. As far as the title of Hokage is considered, son, I don't give a damn who I'm up against, if it's Tsunade or Kakashi. Naruto Uzumaki's time has come, and when I get the shot, you are looking at the next Hokage, so believe it cuz Naruto said so!"


	15. You Gotta Beat Me What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**You Gotta Beat Me. What!**

The sound of glass being broken was heard by everyone in the hokage's office.

Sakura: Here comes Naruto.

The day after winning the tournament, as well as a night of celebrating with Hinata, Naruto stomps into the hokage's office followed by Hinata who was having trouble walking straight to find Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Sakura. 

Tsunade: What's all this about?

Naruto: I told you that son of a bitch ain't joinin' my team and that's all I got to say about that!

Tsunade: You don't have a choice.

Tsunade was becoming upset with Naruto with his total disregard for authority since his return, especially hers.

Tsunade: Get this through your head, I am the hokage. That means that means that run this village and each and every shinobi are to follow my order to the letter, got that?

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: (sighs) Damn it! What happened to you, Naruto? You were mischievous but this different.

Naruto: Hell, I realized that ain't nobody out there that gave a damn about poor little ol' Naruto. So I decided that, hell, I've been crapped on by everybody and now it's time for Naruto Uzumaki to go after what's his and I really don't give a damn who likes it.

Tsunade: But that's not true, Naruto. There are people that cared about you and still do, but that will all change if you keep up with this course of action.

Naruto: Piss off! The only reason anyone besides Hinata care about my well-being is to make sure those jackasses in Akatsuki don't get a hold of the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Tsunade: You ha…

Naruto: What? You ain't gotta worry 'bout that cuz when I get my hands on those sons of bitches there's gonna be hell to pay and that's all I gotta say 'bout that! Back to Sasuke Uchiha, how do you expect me to trust that son of a bitch? I save his ass from Gaara, Ero-Sennin and I find you and bring to you back to be the hokage, not to mention to bring his sorry ass back around after Itachi embarrassed him just by lookin' him in the eyes. What does that son of a bitch do? He picks a fight with me, just because I'd become stronger as a shinobi, and then leaves the village to go to that creepy little bastard, Orochimaru.

Tsunade: I understa…

Naruto: What? When I try to save him, what happened? We have an epic battle, still thinkin' that the son of bitch is my friend, I hold back and he leaves me layin' there like a piece of trash. What?

Jiraiya: All that is in the past, Naruto.

Naruto: What? Aren't you the one who told me to let him go?

Jiraiya: But he came back.

Naruto: Listen, I ain't gonna go on any missions with that son of bitch and that's that.

Tsunade: Is there any way that we can get you to accept this?

Naruto clasps his hands together behind his head and tilts his head back thinking, after a few seconds Naruto came to a solution.

Naruto: I got one for ya'.

Tsunade: What is it?

Naruto: That son of a bitch had to beat me to leave, well he's gotta beat me to come back.

Tsunade: Is that it?

Naruto: Hell, you said that like he can do it.

Someone knocks at the door.

Tsunade: Enter.

Naruto scoffs when he sees that it's Sasuke.

Tsunade: Your punishment is over and, as I told you, I want to reform Team Kakashi but Naruto is objecting that subject to say the least. But, in his defense, he has come up with a solution.

Sasuke stares Naruto in his eyes.

Sasuke: And that is?

Naruto: Hell, like I told her, son. You had to beat me to leave, now you gotta beat me to comeback.

Sasuke: And when is this supposed to happen?

Naruto: Hell, ain't any time like the present.

Naruto and Sasuke square off.

Tsunade: (shouting) Calm down! The match will take place a week from now on the practice field and you two are to stay away from each other until then.

Naruto relaxes.

Naruto: I guess I'll whup your ass in a week.

Naruto shoots Sasuke a double bird and leaves with Hinata following, still walking a little funny. Walking through the village, Naruto and Hinata notice something strange in the village. A lot of people are wearing black t-shirts that says "Naruto's Ninja Way."

Voice: Hey, Naruto!

Naruto and Hinata turn to see who the voice was and find Konohamaru along with Moegi and Udon, all wearing "Naruto's Ninja Way" t-shirts.

Konohamaru: How's it hangin,' boss?

Naruto: Hell, kid, how've ya' been? Where did you get that t-shirt? They're sellin' 'em, ever since you defeated Gai-sensai everyone's been talking about you. All of the shinobi think you're the greatest shinobi in the world. Everyone thinks that you're the second coming of the Fourth Hokage.

A grin spread across Naruto's lips and he looks up at the Fourth Hokage's bust on Hokage Rock.

Hinata: I bet that just tickles you pink, huh?

Naruto: Hell, you can't get mad at nobody for tellin' the truth.

Konohamaru: So, boss, I what are you gonna do?

Naruto: 'Bout what?

Konohamaru: Sasuke, he came back.

Naruto: Hell, it's funny that you asked that cuz me and that son of bitch have a match in one week and I'm gonna whup his ass all over the trainin' field.

Konohamaru: Did you create any new jutsu?

Naruto: Hell, kid, I ain't gonna need any new jutsu to whup his ass but to answer your question, yeah I did.

Konohamaru: Awesome! Can you teach me?

Naruto: Hell, I just might, but you're gonna have to wait 'til I'm raisin' hell and drinkin' sake.

Konohamaru: Where are you headed now?

Naruto: Hell, to drink some sake, I guess.

Konohamaru: Can we come?

Naruto: Hell, kid, you couldn't handle it.

Konohamaru: Anything you can handle, I can handle.

Naruto: Hell, if you think you can, let's go.

Naruto had actually felt that Konohamaru was only drinkin' because he was but complied because he thought that the effects would show him that drinkin' isn't for everyone.

Voice: Stop right there!

Everyone looks to the voice to see Ebisu standing there pushing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

Ebisu: As your team leader, I can't allow you to tag along with this hooligan.

Naruto glares at Ebisu.

Naruto: What? Hooligan? Is that what you called me?

Ebisu: Ye…

Naruto: What? You called me a hooligan?

Ebisu: Exac…

Naruto: What?

Naruto approaches Ebisu until they're face to face.

Naruto: Why'd ya' call me a hooligan?

Ebisu pushes his glasses up on his nose again.

Ebisu: Because of your actions since you've returned to Konohagakure.

Naruto: What? My actions? What?

Ebisu: Yes.

Naruto: Hell, what exactly did I do?

Ebisu: First, you…

Naruto shoots Ebisu a double bird.

Ebisu: What!

Naruto: Hell, I thought you didn't like me.

Naruto gives a toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over, Naruto turns and pulls Ebisu's head to his shoulder, falling to a seated position to the ground causing Ebisu to bounce in the air. Naruto gets up and looks at Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi who are awestruck.

Naruto: That's the first new taijutsu, the Nine-Tailed Number.

Konohamaru, Udon, & Moegi: Awesome, boss!

Hinata: You'd better get him some help, he doesn't look too good.

Later that night, Sasuke was walking around the village trying to get reacquainted to everything. While walking, he ran into Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, and Lee. The quintet stops as they catch sight of him not knowing what to say after what they individually went through trying to bring him back.

Shikamaru: So, I assume that the hokage has ended you punishment.

Sasuke doesn't say anything.

Kiba: Is that it, you don't have anything to say for yourself?! We almost died trying to save you from that, that, whatever the hell Orochimaru is.

Sasuke: I didn't ask you to come after me.

Kiba: Son of a bitch!

An enraged Kiba is constrained by Lee and Choji as a crowd gathers because of the commotion Kiba was making.

Neji: It's true that you didn't ask us to come after you, but you it'd be in the best interest of everyone if you'd take care in what you say for while, at least until everyone can get over it.

Sasuke: Humph.

Voice in the crowd: You know, Sasuke, the whole world knows that the only reason you left Konohagakure is because Itachi Uchiha, the Genjutsu master, master of the mangekyo sharingan, kick your ass back to your childhood. You couldn't face him and you damn sure can't face me.

The crowd parts and everyone sees Naruto and Hinata walking up to the group of shinobi.

Naruto: Now you're coming back to because you learned what you can from Orochimaru? Naruto Uzumaki's gonna make your comeback a living hell cause I ain't no illusionist, I don't do magic, son. When the match begins and it's time to get down to business, I'm gonna take three years of frustration and bein' pissed off out on your ass. Think about it like this, you'll be able to go home, look yourself in the mirror and get some sort of comfort because you'll know that you were indeed beaten by a real shinobi.

Sasuke: Is that a fact?

Naruto: Believe it.

Sasuke: Well, can a real shinobi beat me right now?

Naruto: Hell, let's find out.

Hinata: The hokage said that you weren't supposed to touch each other before the match.

Naruto looks at Hinata and scoffs.

Naruto: You're right, I was just passing through.

Naruto flips Sasuke off and leaves as he really was just passing through when he happened upon the situation leaving Sasuke there silently cursing him while trying to keep his cool.

Shikamaru: What did you expect?

Sasuke turns to Shikamaru, Neji, Choji, Lee, and the now calm Kiba.

Neji: When you left, you not only betrayed the village, you betrayed a friend. Tell me, why did you come back?

Sasuke: I never really planned on staying with Orochimaru.

Shikamaru: Just the same, you're gonna have to give him time to warm up to you. If he even will with the way he's been acting since he got back. Hey, if you never planned to stay with Orochimaru, why'd you fight us so hard, couldn't you have just told us before hand?

Sasuke: I had to make it convincing, I don't think he would've believed it otherwise.

Kiba: What made you come back?

Sasuke: I figured that it'd be easier to find Itachi if I hung around Naruto, he is targeting Naruto after all.

Choji: Well, just the same, you have a fight on your hands from what I know about Naruto.


	16. An Ass Whuppin is an Ass Whuppin What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**An Ass-Whuppin' Is An Ass-Whuppin'. What!**

For the past week, Naruto had been taunting Sasuke mercilessly. Flashback. 

Naruto in front of a crowd at Ichiraku's.

Naruto: Sakura told you that she'd do anything to make you happy, you had all of these girls chasing after you and you left to "give your body" Orochimaru? What the hell is that all about, Sasuke? The one good thing I can say about Konohagakure is that we don't do that weird shit, son. You should've picked another time to comeback, son. You can start beggin' for some mercy now and you will beg for mercy. You ain't gonna find it. I think you're completely pathetic. Naruto's Ninja Way rules. Sasuke, you WILL beg for mercy…

In front of a local bar.

Naruto: One of these days, I'm going to look down at your grave and it's going to say, here lies Sasuke Uchiha, the biggest piece of crap that ever walked the face of the earth. And the reason he's laying here is because Naruto Uzumaki whipped his sharingan ass…

Talking to the academy students in class about his experiences.

Naruto: Ain't no if, ands, or buts about it. When I get my hand on that overemotional son of bitch. I gonna whup his ass, fix him back up, then whup his ass again for making go through all the trouble…

Talking to the rest of the Konoha 12.

Naruto: He shouldn't feel bad when I whup his ass, he should be happy I didn't kill him…

Every time he finished his taunts, he ended it with.

Naruto: …believe it 'cuz Naruto said so.

Sasuke heard about all of Naruto's taunts and always replied with a simple shrug of the shoulders.

Sasuke: Humph.

End Flashback. On the inside, Sasuke was boiling mad and couldn't wait for their match. Naruto and Sasuke faced off with each other at the training field. Hinata and, despite being given the Nine-Tailed Number on several previous occasions, Jiraiya were behind Naruto who was trying to get Naruto to listen to reason.

Jiraiya: Are you sure you want to do this? Sasuke's no pushover, especially after training with Orochimaru. There's also that sharingan to deal with.

Naruto looks Jiraiya in the eye.

Naruto: And you think I'm supposed to be intimidated by the way you build him up and talk about stipulations? All anybody ever talked about was the genius Sasuke, last of the Uchiha and all that crap.

Naruto turns back to Sasuke and looks him square in his sharingan activated eyes.

Well, bloodlines are bloodlines and an ass-whuppin is an ass-whuppin and that's just what he's gonna get today at the hand of Naruto Uzumaki so believe it, cuz Naruto said so!

Behind Sasuke were Kakashi and Sakura.

Kakashi: Are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Sakura: I've seen what Naruto can do and…

Sasuke: It doesn't matter, I'm gonna shut him up once and for all.

Tsunade and Shizune were looking on as Iruka who was calling the match spoke to the two shinobi.

Iruka: This match will be under the same rules as the Chuunin exams, if one of you is incapacitated, submits, or simply can't continue on, the match will be called and your opponent will be declared the victor.

Those who weren't involved in the match moved off to where they wouldn't get in the way.

Iruka: Begin!

Sasuke and Naruto both circle each other, Sasuke throws a right hook that Naruto ducks and counters with a left hook of his own but Sasuke quickly leans back and avoids it. They circle each other again, Naruto sends a roundhouse kick towards Sasuke's head that he ducks and sends a high-side thrust kick to Naruto's face. Naruto avoids it by executing a small back flip and flips again to avoid a sweep kick by Sasuke and grabs Sasuke's foot as he send his own roundhouse towards Naruto's head.

Naruto: I go ya' ass now, you son of a bitch!

Naruto flings Sasuke over his should and slams him into the ground, Naruto gets up and stomps Sasuke in the shoulder repeatedly then flips him off and stomps him once more for good measure. One of Naruto's clones comes stomping in and flipping Sasuke off before attempting to drop his elbow on Sasuke's sternum but Sasuke rolls out of the way and kicks the clone causing it to disperse. Naruto landed a right hand on Sasuke who returned it with one of his own, Naruto landed another one and Sasuke, once again returned it.

Jiraiya: Sasuke's making a mistake, you don't want to brawl with this kid.

Naruto landed one more right hand that was returned by Sasuke, tiring of this routine, Naruto kick Sasuke in the ribs, grabs him by the back of his head and throw him headfirst into the nearest tree. Naruto grabs the woozy Sasuke and stands him up on the tree and unleashes a devastating series of blows to Sasuke, Sasuke instinctively blocks one and pushes Naruto. The temporary separation allows Sasuke to use his first jutsu of the match.

Sasuke: Katon: Fireball Jutsu.

Sasuke stops as Naruto disperses.

Sasuke: (thinking) I knew it. If this was a clone, too, where's…

Kakashi: (thinking) …the real one?

Naruto's voice: Outlaw Style: Sack Attack!

Naruto's fist shoots up from the ground and punches Sasuke in the groin.

Kakashi: What was that?

Jiraiya: That was one of his Outlaw jutsu.

Sakura: Outlaw jutsu?

Hinata: He said he had new jutsu but he wasn't gonna need them for this match.

Jiraiya: He must really want to dish out punishment to Sasuke. That would explain why he hasn't used any of his more dangerous attacks, he doesn't want this to end this quickly.

Tsunade: So what he did to Gai...

Jiraiya: …was only the tip of the iceberg. I sure hope Orochimaru taught Sasuke well if business picks up.

Sasuke is doubled over from the low-blow as Naruto reappears giving him a high-knee to the face. Before Sasuke could reel back, Naruto grabs him by the head and tosses him to the ground. Naruto gives Sasuke a sharp kick to the ribs but is stunned when he can't bring his leg back because Sasuke has taken hold of it. Sasuke returns Naruto's earlier favor and slams him into the ground. Sakura gave a slight cheer that she thought no one heard, what she didn't know is that Hinata heard it loud and clear.

Hinata: (thinking) Keep it up, bitch.

While Naruto was disorientated, Sasuke casts a genjutsu over Naruto. The effects causes Naruto to see himself being attacked the all of the members of Akatsuki.

Itachi: Naruto, you're coming with us.

Naruto: Hell, just try it you funny-eyed son of a bitch!

Naruto was defending himself when a though crossed his mind.

Naruto: (thinking) If this is Akatsuki, then why isn't anyone else attacking them? It has to be.

Naruto soon deduces the answer.

Naruto: Piss off!

Naruto dispels the genjutsu and locates Sasuke.

Naruto: Hell, you're gonna need more than some bullshit magic to be me, son.

Sasuke: Hmph. Not, if you don't get serious.

Naruto: Serious?

Sasuke: I heard about what you did to Gai and what you did when you first got back.

Naruto: Hell, you asked for it.

Naruto turns to Hinata and the rest of the on-lookers.

Naruto: If you wanna see ol' Naruto unseal a scroll o' whup-ass Sasuke Uchiha, give me a "hell yeah!"

Hinata: Oh, hell yeah!

Tsunade: What's going on?

Jiraiya: Remember what I said earlier?

Tsunade: Yeah.

Jiraiya: Well, I think business is about to pick up.

Naruto made a few hand signs and three more Naruto's appeared.

Sasuke: Hmph, more clones.

Jiraiya: Oh, brother.

Kakashi: What is it?

Jiraiya: For Sasuke's sake, I hope those aren't what I think they are.

Kakashi: What do you mean?

Jiraiya: Naruto has created a new type of clone. Outlaw Clones.

Sakura: Outlaw Clones?

Jiraiya: Sasuke has to be careful about attacking them.

Kakashi: Why?

Jiraiya: Unlike regular clones, these clones cannot be dispersed by normal means.

Sakura: Really?

Jiraiya: They can only be released by the real Naruto. Not only that, he can make them explode.

Kakashi: Explode?

Jiraiya: Depending on how much chakra he it could be anywhere from a small blast to a big bang.

Kakashi uncovers his sharingan and quickly notices what Sasuke has already noticed.

Kakashi: I can't determine the real Naruto.

Jiraiya: It doesn't surprise me, he probably developed that to counteract Sasuke. He always spoke of when he would fight him again while he was with me.

Kakashi: Is there any way to defeat them?

Jiraiya: You have to find the real one and make him disperse them.


	17. Outside Interference What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Outside Interference. What!**

Three of the Narutos attack Sasuke, Sasuke defends himself against them while the last Naruto raises his hand to catch an incoming bottle of sake. The Naruto takes a swig and throws it towards the melee while creating a few hand signs. The three Narutos know what's coming and jump out of the way.

Naruto: Outlaw Style: Sake Bomb!

Sasuke barely manages to avoid the following explosion.

Jiraiya: Hm. He's definitely more serious but he's still holding back.

Tsunade: Really?

Jiraiya: I've seen him perform that jutsu before and that explosion pales in comparison to the others.

Tsunade: How so?

Jiraiya: One of the times he performed this jutsu, he took out over 100 assassins who were after this merchant that paid us to protect him in one fell swoop.

Kakashi: Incredible.

Jiraiya: Let's just say that if he was serious with that attack, putting Sasuke back on the team wouldn't have been an issue any longer.

Sasuke decides to take the offensive, he forms a Chidori in his hands.

All four Narutos: Like we haven't seen this before, didn't that creepy little bastard teach you anything?

The Narutos are taken by surprise as they expected Sasuke to rush at them; instead he shoots lightning without moving from his spot. He manages to catch three but the last one simply disappeared.

Naruto: Outlaw Style: Sack Attack!

Naruto reappeared in front of Sasuke and kicks him in the balls but this time Sasuke grabs his leg and uses his Chidori Current to shoot electricity throughout Naruto's body. Unbeknownst to Sasuke, this was the real Naruto and the pain of the electricity forced to lose focus and release is Outlaw Clones. Gathering all the strength he could muster, and gave Sasuke an enzuigiri dropping Sasuke to the ground. Both combatants were tired as Sasuke's attack took Naruto down a few levels and Sasuke combination of expending that much chakra and Naruto's earlier onslaught was starting to get to him. The both of them manage to make it to their feet.

Naruto: (breathing heavily) Hell, I gotta admit, you surprised me with that one.

Sasuke: I told you to take me seriously.

Naruto: Okay, how 'bout this?

Naruto takes a deep breath and gets into a fighting stance.

Kakashi: What is that stance?

Jiraiya: He set for his own special taijutsu, Rattlesnake Style.

Kakashi: Rattlesnake?

Jiraiya: He enhances the normal snake style taijutsu with the Body Flicker jutsu to attack from almost anywhere. This may end the match right here.

Naruto disappears and reappears besides Sasuke, Sasuke defends himself but Naruto disappears again. Naruto reappears behind Sasuke and lands a blow to his back, Sasuke turns around to return a blow of his own but finds that Naruto has disappeared once again. Naruto reappears and lands another blow to Sasuke's ribs and one more to his face. Naruto was beginning to overwhelm Sasuke as Sasuke was unable to land a blow on Naruto or defend himself from Naruto's. Suddenly, Naruto stopped in front of Sasuke with Sasuke staggering on his feet.

Naruto: Hell, I think it's time I ended this.

Naruto flips Sasuke of and gives him a toe kick to the stomach that causes Sasuke to bend over, Naruto turns around to grab Sasuke's head but is attack by a boy about his age with white hair and the teeth of a shark. 

Kakashi: That looks like Zabuza's sword!

Naruto and the white-haired boy go toe to toe but Naruto's attacks are ineffective as the white-haired boys seems to be able to liquefy himself, the shark-toothed boy grabs Naruto and tosses him into the clutches of another larger, older looking boy with an abnormal sized arm accompanied by a red-haired girl wearing glasses. The larger boy slams lifts Naruto high into the air and slams him hard into the ground, Hinata charges in to defend her outnumbered and unconscious lover.

Hinata: Byakugan!

She yells back.

Hinata: What the hell are you waiting for?!

The rest of the shinobi rush to Naruto's aide.

Tsunade: Stop!

They look back at Tsunade puzzled, Tsunade rushes to the shinobi in time to stop Hinata from attacking them. As Tsunade holds Hinata back, Tsunade turns to Naruto's mysterious assailants.

Tsunade: I thought you were going to stay out of this, Suigetsu.

Suigetsu takes a ship of water.

Suigetsu: I guess I couldn't help myself, besides I had to. Karin was totally spazzing as this blond kid was pummeling her precious Sasuke.

Suigetsu holds his hands together and makes kissing noises and puppy dog eyes toward Karin causing her to punch him but to no avail as he just keep liquefying himself again. Hinata finally calms down in Tsunade's grasp, at least enough to ask some questions.

Hinata: You mean you know these three bitches?

Flashback, three days ago. Sasuke walks into the Hokage's office.

Tsunade: What can I do for you Sasuke?

Sasuke: I came to tell you that you don't have to worry about putting me back on Team Kakashi any longer.

Tsunade: Why not?

Sasuke: You can come in.

In walks three shinobi.

Tsunade: Who are they?

Sasuke: These guys used to work for Orochimaru as well, their names are Suigetsu Hozuki, Karin and Jugo.

Tsunade: What are you suggesting?

Sasuke: That you form a team with us. They have talents that can prove useful to you.

Tsunade: Such as?

Sasuke: Karin can track specific individuals through chakra.

Tsunade: How do I know that I can trust them?

Sasuke: Well, as Naruto said, how do you know you can trust me?

Tsunade: Well, I'll think it over. I'll allow them to stay in the village while I do but they aren't allowed to carry any weapons and they'll be under strict surveillance.

Sasuke, Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo stand before Tsunade in the Hokage's office 2 hours before the match.

Tsunade: Well, Sasuke, I've check them out and decided to grant them status as shinobi of the village but on a probationary period. After they've proven themselves trustworthy, I'll grant them full status.

Sasuke: What about making us a team?

Tsunade: Well, if you can beat Naruto then I'll make you a team.

Sasuke: Hmph.

End Flashback.

Hinata: Well?

Tsunade: Yes, they're friends of Sasuke who're trying to become Konoha shinobi.

Sakura and the others finally join in.

Sakura: Friends of Sasuke?

Tsunade: They used to be subjects of Orochimaru's.

Jiraiya: And you just let them in?

Tsunade: On a probationary period.

Jiraiya: It doesn't matter, they're connected to Orochimaru. You might as well have let him in the village.

Tsunade: Look, I am the Hokage and I'll lead this village the way that I see fit, do any of you have a problem with that?

The Konoha shinobi all stand in silence until Iruka breaks it to call the match.

Iruka: Due to outside interference, Naruto wins the match.

Tsunade: Take Naruto to get checked out and make sure he's alright, I suggest you do the same Sasuke.

Jiraiya picks Naruto up on his shoulders to carry him off. Sakura shoots Karin a dirty look as she tends to Sasuke a little too affectionately for Sakura's taste as Kakashi notices.

Kakashi: Something wrong, Sakura?

Sakura: No, what makes you say that? (Inner Sakura) Cha! Who the hell does she think she is?!

After dropping Naruto off at the hospital, Jiraiya enters the Hokage's office with some questions for Tsunade.

Jiraiya: How in the hell could you just let them in the village like that?

Tsunade: (sighs) I'd think it'd be obvious.

Jiraiya: What?

Tsunade: I needed something to balance out Naruto, you've seen how he's been acting since he's been here, right?

Jiraiya: Yeah.

Tsunade: Well, at least with them and Sasuke around, Naruto would have someone to focus his aggressions on instead of striking at everyone in the village. Besides, if they're up to no good, you really think Naruto will let them get away with it?

Jiraiya: Hmm, you may be right but I still don't like it.

Tsunade: Where is he right now, anyway?

Jiraiya: I left him in the hospital with Hinata, although I don't think he'll be there long with that Kyuubi No Kitsune inside of him. I hope Sasuke and his friend are ready cuz when Naruto comes to, there's gonna be hell to pay.

Back at the hospital, Naruto is lying in bed still unconscious with Hinata, Sakura, and Kakashi at his side. One of the medics is checking his vitals.

Medic: He'll be alright he just needs a little rest.

Kakashi: What about Sasuke?

Sakura: He never showed up here, I guess that red-haired bi… I mean, girl helped him.

Hinata: Fuck Sasuke! He's gonna get his.

Just then, everyone heard the sound of glass breaking.

Sakura: Here we go.

Hinata: Look!

Everyone turns to Hinata who was pointing at Naruto's face, they look and find that his eyes are now open.

Kakashi: How do you feel?

Naruto: What?

Sakura: Are you okay?

Naruto: What?

Medic: Do you have anything you want say?

Naruto: Yeah, I got something to say.

Naruto sits up and grabs the medic by the collar.

Naruto: You stick that thermometer up my ass again and there's gonna be hell to pay you son of a bitch, believe it 'cuz Naruto said so!


	18. I Appreciate It What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**I Appreciate It. What!**

Sasuke, Suigetsu, Karin, and Jugo sit in a restaurant eating lunch.

Suigetsu: Now that we're a team, I wonder when we'll get our first mission.

Flashback. Sasuke, Suigetsu, Karin, and Jugo all meet in the Hokage's office.

Tsunade: Since Naruto technically won the fight, I have to honor the terms of our agreement. You won't be rejoining Team Kakashi and you won't be granted the rank of Chunin. Although, since our numbers are thin and it's not uncommon for genin, particularly genin of your talents, to lead missions, I will let the four of you form your own team. I'll notify you when I have a mission for you.

Sasuke: Is that all?

Tsunade: Be careful.

Suigetsu takes a sip of water.

Suigetsu: Why?

Tsunade: Because if I know Naruto, he's gonna be after the four of you the first chance he gets.

Sasuke: Hmph.

End flashback. The newly formed team is leaving a restaurant 

Suigetsu: (scoffs) Be careful, I hope he does try something, I'll give him a bigger dose of what I gave him last time.

Karin leans on Sasuke's shoulder.

Karin: Besides, my Sasuke is more that able to handle the likes of him.

Suigetsu: Were we watching the same fight? I mean, if it wasn't for me and Jugo, Sasuke'd still be laid out right about now. Right Jugo?

Suigetsu looks back at Jugo for reassurance but Jugo remains silent unlike Karin who sets up to pummel Suigetsu.

Karin: What did you say about Sasuke?

Sasuke: Calm down, we're in a restaurant.

Karin stops and returns to leaning on Sasuke as Suigetsu leads the way out the door.

Sasuke: You're right Sasuke, so what do you want to do tonight?

Suigetsu: (chuckles) I know what you're gonna do tonight. You're gon…

Before Suigetsu could finish, he's surprised by a blow to the back of the head. Being caught by surprise he was unable to liquefy himself before being incapacitated. The assailant then turned his sights then strikes Jugo with a right hand strong enough to knock the giant to the ground.

Sasuke: Naruto? He can't be up already.

Naruto stomps Jugo repeatedly, Sasuke wants to jump in but is too weak from his match with Naruto. Naruto continues his assault on Jugo until a squad of ANBU arrives to stop him. Naruto begins to fight off the squad until Kakashi breaks through the crowd and tries to quell the turmoil.

Kakashi: Hey, stop! Stop! Don't hurt him, let me talk to him!

The ANBU calm down to give Kakashi a chance to speak to his student.

Kakashi: Naruto, you've got to calm down. Since you've been back, you've done nothing but cause trouble for the village. Do you know why the ANBU got here so fast?

Naruto: Hell, I don't give a rat's ass why they got here so fast, you tell them sons of bitches that they can go to hell.

Naruto's response provokes the ANBU almost to the point of attacking.

Kakashi: Calm down! Naruto, they got here so fast because the Hokage placed them on surveillance detail, they were watching you to make sure to don't do anything crazy like what you did just now. I mean, look at you, you haven't even fully recovered from you injuries yet, you could've hurt yourself even worse, Naruto. No one wants that, don't you realize that there are people here that actually care about you and your well being?

Naruto scoffs and turns away from Kakashi.

Naruto: (sarcastically) Care about me, right.

Kakashi: But that could change if you keep going at the rate you're going Naruto. Things could run a lot smoother, you just have to work within the system.

Naruto calmly walks up to Kakashi.

Naruto: What? What you're telling me is that my raisin' hell is causin' a problem? What? You tellin' me, that I have to work within the system and everything will run smooth? What?

Kakashi: Ye…

Naruto: What? Hell, if that's what it takes to get these ANBU sons of bitches of my back, then I fell like the perfect little soldier. I'll work with your stupid little system.

Kakashi: That's bet...

Naruto: What? I appreciate the fact that there are people here that care about me, but I also appreciate the fact that, hell, you can kiss my ass.

Naruto gives Kakashi a toe kick to the stomach causing Kakashi to bend over Naruto turns, pulling Kakashi's head to his shoulder and falls to seated position to the floor. The impact causes Kakashi to bounce backward and land on his back unconscious. Naruto crawls over Kakashi until they're face to face and shouts at Kakashi as half of the crowd is in shock and the other half cheers Naruto on.

Naruto: That's what you get! That's what you get, you son of a bitch! You and that old lady can take you little system and shove it.

The ANBU surround Naruto to arrest him and to everyone's surprise, he actually let's them.

Naruto: I don't care, put the cuffs on.

Before the ANBU can drag Naruto off, he walks over to the unconscious Kakashi. Naruto turns his back bends over and flips Kakashi several more times with his cuffed hands. A smiling Naruto begins spewing his venom to the crowd as the ANBU takes him away.

Naruto: Can't nobody stop Naruto Uzumaki from doin' what he wants, not even Kakashi Hatake! You tell them four sons of bitches that I ain't finished with them, not by a long-shot.

The ANBU carry Naruto off to the Konohagakure jail, Naruto enters his cell still defiant.

Naruto: I don't give a damn where you stick me, cuz when I get out, I'm gonna raise more hell than anyone you ever seen.

Back at Naruto's apartment, a naked Hinata was in a sex coma. She rolled over to grab a hold of Naruto but is awakened by the surprise that Naruto isn't there.

Hinata: Huh? Where the fuck did he go?

Hinata got dressed and went outside in search for Naruto. After a few minutes of searching, she ran into Sakura running an errand for the hokage.

Hinata: Hey, you seen Naruto?

Sakura: Not since he left the hospital yesterday.

Hinata: I wonder where the hell he went, I know. Byakugan!

Hinata activated her Byakugan.

Hinata: Hm, I don't see him in the village anywhere. Oh, well.

Hinata gets ready to leave and continue her search before Sakura stops her.

Sakura: Hey, Hinata?

Hinata turns to Sakura.

Hinata: What?

Sakura: What's the deal with Naruto? Why's he behaving like this?

Hinata: You really want to know?

Sakura: Yeah.

Hinata takes a second or two to debate whether or not she should say it.

Hinata: You know about the Kyuubi No Kitsune, right?

Sakura: Yes, horrible demon that ravaged this village bout 15 or 16 years ago and they couldn't defeat it so the Fourth Hokage sacrificed his life to seal it, right?

Hinata: Yes, but do you know how they sealed it?

Sakura shakes her head.

Hinata: They sealed it within a newborn child, a child our age.

Sakura stopped and thought for a second, then it hit her.

Sakura: You mean Naruto?

Hinata: Yes. He's the container of the Kyuubi No Kitsune, he's really the only thing standing between us and total annihilation at the hands of the demon and it's also the reason why our parents hated him so much.

Sakura: So he grew up his whole life being ostracized for being the protector of our village when he didn't even have a choice in the matter?

Hinata nodded and Sakura hung her head.

Sakura: Poor Naruto.

Hinata: To make matters worse, the Fourth Hokage, the man who sacrificed his life to save the village and lay this curse on Naruto was none other than his own father.

The pain that Sakura now felt for Naruto couldn't have been worse if she had been in Naruto's shoe her whole life, mostly from the guilt of how she used to treat him.


	19. She May Be Able To Control Him What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**She May Be Able To Control Him. What!**

Hinata decided to accompany Sakura to the hokage's office in the hopes that if she didn't run into him on the way there, at least the Hokage would know of his whereabouts. Sakura still remains in a state of shock over Hinata's revelation.

Sakura: I still can't believe it, why weren't we told?

Hinata: Because the Third Hokage decreed that no one talked about it. Which was f'ed up 'cuz no one was told of the Fourth Hokage's last wish.

Sakura: Which was?

Hinata: That Naruto wouldn't be regarded as a monster because he is the savior of the village, the only thing standing between us and the Kyuubi.

Sakura fell back to her silent contemplation, the duo reached the hokage's office without seeing hide or hair of Naruto. The walk into the hokage's office to find Tsunade sitting behind her desk with Shizune by her side.

Tsunade: Hinata? I can only guess why you're here.

Hinata: Where is Naruto?

Tsunade: He's been arrested.

Sakura: Arrested?

Hinata: What for?

Tsunade leans back in her chair.

Tsunade: For continuing to raise hell all over the village.

Sakura: Well, when will he be released?

Hinata: It doesn't matter, I'll get my father to bail him out.

Tsunade: No, you won't because you and your team have a mission.

Hinata: A mission?

Tsunade: Gather your team and I'll brief you on it later.

An unhappy Hinata leaves to collect the members of her team, she stops short of the door and turns back to the hokage.

Hinata: You know he's not gonna like this, right? I mean, me goin' on a mission without him.

Tsunade stands up behind her desk.

Tsunade: I'll deal with it.

Hinata: Okay, just as long as you know.

As Hinata leaves, Sakura turns to the hokage.

Sakura: Lady Tsunade, how come no one told us about Naruto?

Tsunade: What do you mean?

Sakura: About him and the Kyuubi No Kitsune and his father.

Tsunade: I used to wonder about that, too.

Sakura: Maybe, if it weren't for the way we treated him growing up, he wouldn't be lashing out at everyone like this.

Tsunade: That's no excuse.

Shizune decides to chime in.

Shizune: But it does explain it, Lady Tsunade. Think of him and Sasuke.

Tsunade: What do you mean?

Shizune: They both grew up the same way, but at least Sasuke had a face for his tormentor, Itachi, the reason he had to grow up alone like that. Naruto, on the other hand, grew up not knowing why he was mistreated by everyone in the village and when he found out that it was for basically protecting the village from the Kyuubi No Kitsune at the expense of his father's life, well…

Sakura: What would you do?

Tsunade sits down in her chair, contemplating Shizune and Sakura's words.

Tsunade: I understand, but just the same, I can't have him running amuck around the village.

Later that day, Tsunade sent Hinata and her team on a mission. The mission was to track down a fugitive, which was relatively easy for Hinata and her squad given their specialization in tracking. Overall, the mission took a week, when the team got back, they reported to the hokage's office. Genma announces them to the hokage.

Genma: Lady Hokage, Team Kurenai has returned from their mission.

Hinata and her squad enter the office to find the hokage, Sakura, and Shizune.

Tsunade: Thank you, Genma. You may leave now.

Team Kurenai disclosed the details of their mission to the hokage, when they finished, Hinata had a question for Tsunade.

Hinata: And what about Naruto, is he still locked up?

Tsunade: Yes, I was waiting for your team to get back to release him and…

The sound of glass breaking was heard by everyone in the office.

Sakura: (thinking) Oh boy.

A commotion was stirring outside of the homage's office. Everyone ran to the windows to investigate to find Naruto racing down the streets of Konohagakure on a runaway carriage headed towards the hokage's office.

Tsunade: What the hell is he doing?

Everyone races outside to the front of the hokage's mansion. Outside, the carriage is met by a group of ANBU.

ANBU member: Don't let him through!

One of the ANBU performs a jutsu.

ANBU member: Earth Style: Earth Wall Jutsu!

A wall shoots up out of the ground blocking Naruto's way. Naruto's carriage rams into the wall, shattering as Naruto leaps off of the carriage. The ANBU thought that he was leaping toward them but were surprised when he passed over their heads and landed on Tsunade, attacking her furiously. Tsunade uses her tremendous strength to push Naruto off of her into the group of ANBU, Naruto regains his balance but is now surrounded by the ANBU. Undeterred, Naruto attacks the ANBU relentlessly until Tsunade puts a halt to everything.

Tsunade: Stop! Damn it, I said stop!

Tsunade turned to Naruto.

Tsunade: I'm tired of this crap, you think you can just do whatever you want, don't you?

Naruto: And ain't a damn thing you can do to stop me, either.

Tsunade: Alright, then I'm gonna give you just what you want. I'm not putting you back on Team Kakashi.

Naruto: So what team am I on?

Tsunade: While Kurenai is pregnant, you'll be their fourth member.

Naruto looks at Hinata then looks back at Tsunade and smiles.

Naruto: Thank you, that all I wanted.

Tsunade: Like I'm supposed to believe the nice act. Report back here tomorrow and I'll have your first mission.

Naruto, Hinata, and the rest of Team Kurenai leave. Shizune approaches Tsunade.

Shizune: Lady Tsunade, are you sure that's wise?

Tsunade: If nothing else, it'll calm him down for a few days.

To get better acquainted as a team after the last 2 and a half years, Naruto and Team Kurenai hold a brief training period and decided to get something to eat. They enter a restaurant and are seated. Naruto orders a bottle of sake, the waiter doesn't object due to it being widespread knowledge of how Naruto's initial rampage was provoked. When the waiter returned with Naruto's sake, Naruto noticed Tsunade and Jiraiya sitting in a corner booth. Naruto pokes fun at her by raising his glass in a toast.

Naruto: Bonsai!

Jiraiya: What are we gonna do with this kid?

Tsunade: I don't know, but we've gotta figure something out. With his abilities, he's a huge asset to the village, but his behavior…

Jiraiya: Makes things difficult.

Tsunade: To say the least.

Just then, as if on cue to piss Naruto off when he's having a good time, in walks Sasuke and his team, taking a seat on the other side of the restaurant with Naruto and Sasuke staring at each other the entire time. Naruto gets ready to go over and give Sasuke and co. what for but Hinata stops him.

Hinata: You want to go to jail again?

Naruto: Hell, I don't give a damn 'bout no jail. What!

Hinata: Not tonight.

Hinata rubs his thigh underneath the table and gives him kiss on the cheek, getting the idea, Naruto calm down. Tsunade takes notice of this.

Tsunade: Jiraiya, did you notice that?

Jiraiya: No, what?

Tsunade: Naruto was about to go off on Sasuke but Hinata was able to stop him.

Tsunade and Jiraiya just continue to observe. After eating their meal, Naruto and Team Kurenai discuss what's been going on since Naruto left, Shino sat there quiet only speaking when he thought it necessary. During their conversation, Naruto catches another glimpse of Sasuke and his friends. Kiba notices Naruto and decides to chime in.

Kiba: I don't know what it is, but that water kid kinda irks me. That chick is kinda hot, though.

Naruto: Ah, the hell with this.

Hinata tries to talk some sense into Naruto but Naruto assures her that he's not gonna do anything. Naruto climbs up on the bar commanding everyone's attention.

Naruto: I never got to climb to the top like this before I left. I look over at that table over there and I see what Sasuke Uchiha left our team for, two jackasses and from the places that Ero-sennin, over there, and I have been, about a 5 mon piece of ass.

Naruto notice an eerie feeling behind him, he turns around to see Hinata glaring at him.

Naruto: Hey, I didn't do anything with 'em. That was Ero-sennin's game.

Tsunade takes notice of how Naruto explains himself to Hinata as Naruto continues on berating Sasuke's new team.

Naruto: Right off the bat, let's start with Suigetsu. Hell, son, you impress me. You're a hellraiser, you know how to raise hell and you don't know the meaning of the word compliance, but you're still just a piece of trash in my book. Juugo, you quiet son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for putting me down like that. When I get a hold of you, son, I'm gonna run circles around you and when you tired and begging for me to end it, man, I'm telling you, I'm gonna put you down for good.

Naruto notices the dirty looks that Karin have been giving him.

Naruto: Hey, don't get me wrong, sweetheart. If I didn't have Hinata here, I'd russle up 5 mon and if I had a clothespin for my nose, I'd just might give you a try. I'm just gonna end by saying this, I don't give damn if it's tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year, I'm gonna be the next hokage but until then I'm gonna drink some sake and raise some hell so believe it 'cuz Naruto said so!

Naruto gets off of the bar and heads over to his teammates.

Naruto: Let's go.

As they leave, an insulted Karin attacks Naruto, Naruto easily evades her attack. Naruto picks Karin up and tosses her over to Kiba who places her over his shoulder.

Naruto: Here ya' go, kid.

Kiba gives Naruto a puzzled look.

Naruto: Hell, you said she was hot right? Consider her a gift for lettin' me join your team, from me to you.

Suigetsu and Juugo gives chase but Naruto and co. are too fast for them. Back in the restaurant, Tsunade and Jiraiya were having an interesting conversation.

Tsunade: You mean to tell me, you didn't notice that?

Jiraiya: No, what are you talking about?

Tsunade: The way Hinata was able to stop him from attacking Sasuke and the way he made sure that he didn't accidentally upset her when he was insulting Sasuke's friends.

Jiraiya: So you think that she has some type of control over him? Well, he is my student, I wouldn't be surprised is pussy had some sort of control over him. Do you think we'll be able to use that?

Tsunade: We just might be able to.


	20. I Love You What?

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**I Love You. What?**

Kiba: Hey, Naruto, why'd we just take off from those guys? I assumed that them comin' after us was just what you wanted.

Naruto takes Hinata by the hand.

Naruto: Yeah, but Hinata seems to have big plans for me tonight.

Hinata squeezes Naruto's hand letting him know her displeasure. Karin continues to struggle in Kiba's arms.

Karin: Hey, let me go!

The team continues to ignore Karin's demands and decides to go about their business, Naruto and Hinata head to Naruto's apartment, Shino went off to his home, and Kiba had plans for Karin. Naruto and Hinata enter Naruto's apartment. Naruto locks the door.

Naruto: What were you sayin' earlier 'bout "Not tonight?"

Hinata: Don't worry, you're 'bout to find out.

Just then, a thought ran across Hinata's mind.

Hinata: Hey, how did you get out of jail?

Hinata turns around for an answer but is met only by Naruto's lips, his tongue seemed like it was down her throat. Hinata and Naruto kiss passionately as the undress each other, Hinata hops into Naruto's arms and Naruto carries her to the bed. Naruto lays her down on the bed and hovers above her, rubbing her clit causing her to moan as he continues to kiss her wildly. Not to be undone, Hinata reaches down and strokes Naruto's member causing making it erect. She moves Naruto's hand from her clit and rubs Naruto member against her, lubricating it with her juices. She turns Naruto over and climbs on top and straddles Naruto, Hinata lowered herself onto Naruto's member began to thrust her up and down as Naruto gripped her by the hips. 

Naruto: (thinking) I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

Hinata was now driving Naruto into the bed forcefully, so forcefully that the eventually break the bed in two. Paying no attention to Naruto's damaged bed, Hinata continues until she lets out a loud scream as she reaches her climax.

Hinata: Naruto!

Hinata falls to Naruto's chest, Naruto pushes her off.

Naruto: You're gonna pay for breakin' my bed.

Naruto turns Hinata around and set her up on all fours in front of him.

Naruto: To hell with Kiba, we got our own All Fours Jutsu.

Naruto notices a tattoo on the small of Hinata back, just above her butt-crack that said "Naruto's."

Naruto: When'd you get that?

Hinata: Before we came back from the mission.

Naruto: Might as well be a bull's eye.

Naruto entered Hinata who was still wet from getting hers a few seconds earlier and started to hammer Hinata from behind, each time his hips met hers made ripples for in her firm but supple backside. For both of them each stroke seemed to take an eternity by still wasn't long enough to satisfy them. Hinata finally reached another climax, the constriction of her walls rips an orgasm out of Naruto and the both let out when could be described as half-moan and half-roar. Realizing his current position, Naruto remembered something that Jiraiya told him about. Flashback.

Jiraiya: …and then there's anal…

End flashback.

Naruto: Say, Hinata, I've got a question.

Hinata: What?

Naruto: Would you be interested in taking it up the ass, I'm just throwing it out there.

Hinata: Hell, why not?

Naruto takes his once again erect penis and places it at the Hinata's hole.

Naruto: From what I understand, this is gonna hurt like hell.

Hinata: Whatever, get on with it.

Naruto eased his way in, but to his surprise, Hinata was able to take the pain. Not only that, she seemed to enjoy it.

Hinata: Harder, deeper!

Naruto thrusts harder and deeper into Hinata.

Hinata: Harder, damn it!

Naruto thrusts as hard as he can, Hinata seemed to be enjoying it more and more.

Hinata: Pull my hair!

Naruto pulled her hair.

Hinata: Oh, shit! Yeah! Smack my ass!

Naruto: (thinking) What the fuck!

Naruto smacked her ass, surprised that she could be so dominating, especially in the submissive position she was in. Naruto raised his arms in the air holding up his middle fingers.

Naruto: What!

Knowing what this meant, Hinata took Naruto out of her and jerked him off until he came. He fell to the floor on top of her and they laid there and rested. Hinata took a look at the wreckage that she was mostly responsible for.

Hinata: I'll get my dad to pay for the bed.

When she got no response from Naruto, she looked to him.

Hinata: Did you hea…

Hinata noticed staring at her with a strange look on Naruto's face.

Hinata: What's wrong?

Naruto: What? Nothin'.

Naruto turns over so that she was lying on top of him.

Hinata: I said I'll get my father to pay for the bed, so don't worry.

Hinata looked up at Naruto and once again found him with that strange expression on his face. 

Hinata: (thinking) Whatever.

Hinata rests her head on his chest and falls asleep, leaving Naruto deep in though.

Naruto: (thinking) I'm such a pussy, I can't be in love. Could it be?

Naruto fell asleep and was visited by the Kyuubi No Kitsune. 

Kyuubi: Damn, you're soft.

Naruto: Shut up.

Kyuubi: And it's not just the fact that you're in love, but you can't even admit it.

Naruto: Look, you damn, demonic vulpes, you'd better get off of my back or I'm gonna come in there and stomp a mud hole in your ass.

Kyuubi: Shut up before I make Hinata hold out on you.

Naruto: You can't do that.

Kyuubi: Part of my spirit is insider of her.

Naruto: You wouldn't do that.

Kyuubi: Wouldn't I?

The next day Hinata woke up and found that Naruto wasn't there.

Hintata: I hope he didn't go and get himself arrested again.

Naruto went to a bar for a drink and to collect his thoughts and gather his feelings on the situation he found himself in. 

Naruto: (thinking) How the hell did this happen?

Deep in thought, Naruto doesn't notice he was joined by Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: You look troubled, kid.

Naruto snaps out of it, he was about to let Jiraiya have it for interrupting him until he realized the sannin might be able to help him out.

Naruto: You could say that.

Jiraiya: Anything I could help you with?

Naruto: Surprisingly, yeah.

Jiraiya: So, what is it? I know you don't need any more training.

Naruto: It's Hinata.

Jiraiya is taken aback.

Jiraiya: Hinata? What's wrong, not working out like you thought?

Naruto: No, it's just that… I, uh, I…

Naruto leans in closer to Jiraiya.

Naruto: How do I know if I'm…?

Jiraiya: What?

Naruto: …in love?

Jiraiya is surprised that Naruto was even capable of feeling this type of emotion, the old Naruto maybe but not this one. Jiraiya can see the embarrassment and uneasiness on Naruto's face, he leans back trying to figure out a way to answer Naruto's question. The answer came to him in a flash.

Jiraiya: So you want to know if you love her, right?

Naruto: Right and keep your voice down.

Jiraiya: Sorry. Well, you'll know when you answer this question. Ready?

Naruto: What! Shoot.

Jiraiya: Do you love her?

Naruto answers without giving it a single thought.

Naruto: Yeah.

Jiraiya: There you go.

Naruto realizes what just happened.

Naruto: Oh.

Naruto orders a bottle for Jiraiya as thanks and leaves.

Jiraiya: Where are you going?

Naruto: To face the music.

On the way out Naruto passes by Kakashi who was with Tsunade as she was trying to skip out on paperwork without noticing. They enter the bar to find Jiraiya drinking the bottler that Naruto had bought for him.

Tsunade: What's with Naruto?

Jiraiya: He just found out that he's in love with Hinata.

Kakashi: Really?

Tsunade: I knew something was up.

Naruto finally reaches his apartment shortly after Hinata had his new bed delivered and set up.

Hinata: I told you, I got a bigger bed 'cuz I thought we'd need the space.

Hinata notices Naruto hanging his head and avoiding eye contact with her.

Hinata: Something wrong?

Naruto: What? I, I, I.

Hinata: Well, spit it out.

Naruto: What? Don't rush me.

Hinata approaches Naruto and examines his face, his whole demeanor reminder her of someone, then it hit her.

Hinata: Oh, no way.

As Naruto continued to stutter and stammer, she realized who he reminded her of. He reminded her of her just a few short weeks ago before she and Naruto consummated their relationship.

Hinata: You're in love with me, aren't you?

Naruto looked at her shocked that she was able to figure it out, he runs outside to gather himself. 

Naruto: Damn it, how did she know? Aw, the hell with it.

Naruto goes back inside and faces Hinata with fire in his eyes and his usual steely resolve.

Naruto: Yeah, I do. I love you.

Hinata smiles at him and approaches him as if to embrace him. Naruto follows suit and approaches her. To his surprise, Hinata gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over. She turns and pulls his head to her neck and falls to a seated position to the floor, the impact causing Naruto to bounce in the air and land on his back. Hinata jumps up and straddles Naruto, because of her lack of physical strength, at least relative to Naruto, Naruto was still conscious although very surprised. Hinata plants a deep, loving kiss on his lips.

Hinata: I love you too.

Unbeknownst to the couple inside, Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Tsunade were spying on the couple from a nearby building.

Jiraiya: Oh, yeah Naruto. That's how my apprentice does it.

Tsunade: I wonder how he likes taking one of those, perhaps now we can rein him in.

Kakashi: This'll be great material for your next book.


	21. New Mission What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**New Mission. What!**

Naruto clutches his neck.

Naruto: I don't see what the big deal is, it doesn't even hurt like that.

Hinata: Don't worry, I'll make it feel better.

Hinata kisses Naruto on the lips again and they begin to undress each other. Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Tsunade are still watching on.

Tsunade: I'm not going to watch this, Kakashi, find Sasuke's team and tell them to report to my office first thing tomorrow morning.

Kakashi: Yes.

Kakashi disappears.

Tsunade: Jiraiya, give them an hour then come back and tell Hinata to meet me in my office immediately.

Jiraiya: Uh-huh.

Jiraiya still has his telescope watching, not paying attention to Tsunade.

Tsunade: Don't watch.

Jiraiya: I'm shocked. You really think that I'd spy on my own under aged student and his under aged girlfriend?

All of the shinobi of Konohagakure appeared before the two of them.

Konohagakure Shinobi: YES!!!

The Konohagakure shinobi disappear. Tsunade smirks at Jiraiya.

Tsunade: See?

Jiraiya: Ok, ok, one hour.

Jiraiya returns after an hour to collect Hinata, Naruto opens the door with a bed-sheet wrapped around his waist.

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya: The hoka…

Naruto: What? You do remember what happened the last time we met like this, right?

Jiraiya: Don't start that. The hokage wants to see Hinata immediately.

Naruto: We'll get there when we get there.

Jiraiya: No, just Hinata.

Hinata comes to the door with another bed-sheet wrapped around her body.

Hinata: Me? Why me?

Jiraiya: She'll tell you when you get there.

Jiraiya leaves in a puff of smoke.

Hinata: What the hell does she want to see me for?

Naruto: Hell, don't look at me.

Hinata: I'd better go see what she wants.

Hinata showers and gets herself together, she gives Naruto a kiss before leaving to pay the Hokage a visit. On the way to the hokage's office, Hinata runs into Sakura again.

Sakura: Hey, Hinata.

Hinata: Hey, Sakura. Hey, you don't know what the hokage wants to see me for, do you?

Sakura: She hasn't mentioned anything to me.

Hinata: Oh, well. Where are you headed?

Sakura: To do some training, I still don't have a team. How's Naruto?

Hinata: He's all right, I left him back at his apartment.

Sakura starts to blush as her mind wanders to what Naruto and Hinata could've been doing at his apartment.

Hinata: Things are progressing well between us.

Sakura: Question, does he act that way around you?

Hinata: What way?

Sakura: You know, a hell-raising bad-ass.

Hinata: (under her breathe) There's one thing that rises when we're alone and it usually involves ass.

Sakura: What was that?

Hinata: Nothing, uh, he'll probably be mad that I told you this but no. He's usually calm when we're alone, like night and day.

Sakura: Hm, well, I'd better get going. See you later.

Hinata: Later.

Hinata reaches the hokage's office, the hokage clears the room out to give her and Hinata some privacy. 

Tsunade: Hinata, I wanted to talk to you about Naruto.

Hinata: What about him?

Tsunade: As I've said before, his talents make him a great asset to this village but his behavior also makes him a great detriment.

Hinata: Well, what does that have to do with me?

Tsunade: See, now, that's where you come in. I've noticed how he behaves around you, he corrects himself when he thinks he's causing you displeasure and explains himself to you, and he hasn't done that to anyone since he came back.

Hinata: So?

Tsunade: So, what I need from you is to kind of bring him back around when he starts to get out of hand. Can you do that for me?

Hinata places her hands on her hip and leans her head back deep in thought.

Hinata: I'll think about it. Is there anything else?

Tsunade: Tell Naruto and the rest of your team that I want them to meet me here first thing in the morning.

Hinata: Ok.

Jiraiya and Kakashi appear as Hinata leaves. 

Tsunade: I hope she decides to help up us out.

Kakashi: Sakura did tell me that Naruto behaves differently when they're alone so it should work.

Jiraiya: I'm more worried about what'll happen if Naruto finds out that where doing this.

Tsunade: Well, we just have to hope that she makes the right decision.

Outside, Hinata debates whether or not she should help as she goes about collecting her team.

Hinata: (thinking) I do love Naruto and wouldn't want to change him for anything but I don't want him arrested every week. Wait, he never told me how he got out.

While Hinata was meeting with the hokage, Naruto decided to take a trip to the local tattoo shop.

Tattoo artist: How may I help you, dude?

Naruto: Hell, son, this is a tattoo shop, right? Take a guess.

Tattoo artist: Right. What do you want and where did you want it?

Hinata had finished telling her team about their meeting with the hokage and headed back to his apartment. 

Hinata: Naruto, I'm back. Naruto? Where the hell is he?

The tattoo artist finished with Naruto's tattoo.

Tattoo artist: Alright, dude. That'll be 200 mon.

Naruto paid the tattoo artist and left for his apartment, on the way Naruto ran into Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. 

Shikamaru: Hey, Naruto, what's going on?

Naruto: Nuthin' much.

Shikamaru: Getting a tattoo, huh? Can we see it?

Naruto: It's private.

Naruto looked away as he was blushing slightly. Seeing this, Ino quickly figured it out.

Ino: Aww.

Choji: What's the matter with you?

Shikamaru and Choji's focus on Ino caused them to miss the glare Naruto gave Ino.

Ino: Nothing. We'd better get going, we don't want to be late meeting Asuma-sensei.

Shikamaru: She's right, later, Naruto.

Naruto and the Ino-Shika-Cho trio go their separate ways.

Ino: Hinata's lucky.

Shikamaru: What do you mean?

Ino: You mean you didn't notice? I expected to go over Choji's head but not yours.

Choji: Hey.

Shikamaru: How troublesome, you still haven't told me what you mean.

Ino: Well, he came out of a tattoo shop, right?

Shikamaru & Choji: Right.

Ino: And when you asked him about it he said it was private, right?

Shikamaru & Choji: Right.

Ino: Then he avoided eye contact with us, right?

Shikamaru & Choji: Right.

Ino: When have you known Naruto to do that? Plus he was blushing. Now think about what or, better yet, who would make him do that?

Shikamaru: You're right, besides, they have been spending a lot of time together since he's been back.

Ino: So, like I was saying, Hinata's lucky to have someone who'll get a tattoo for her.

Naruto walks into the door to find Hinata asleep on his bed, the sound of the door wakes her.

Hinata: I fell asleep waiting for you, where have you been?

Naruto: Getting this.

Naruto raises his shirt to reveal a tattoo in the center of his chest that read Hinata's.

Hinata: (gasps) You got that for me?

Naruto: Yeah, well, it's only fair.

Hinata: Stop playing tough, you big softy.

Hinata takes Naruto by the hand and pulls him to the bed.

Naruto: Ah, watch the chest.

The next morning, Naruto and Team Kurenai arrive at the hokage's office and find Tsunade, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sakura, and Sasuke's team. Kiba takes a look and Karin and gives her a grin.

Kiba: Hey.

Karin looks away blushing slightly.

Naruto: So why the hell are you draggin' us outta bed this early in the damn mornin'?

Tsunade: Because I have a mission for you, you son of a bitch.

Naruto: Well, what is it? And while you're at it, why the hell are they here?

Tsunade: Because they're going to be joining you.

Naruto takes a look at Sasuke.

Naruto: Like hell. I ain't joinin' up with this piece of trash.

Tsunade: Why not?

Naruto: What? "Why not?" What! Is that what you're askin' me? What!

Tsunade: Exac…

Naruto: What? I can't hear you, speak up! Shut your mouth so I can talk! It's like this, I ain't goin' on no mission with this piece of trash 'cuz for one, I ain't partnerin' up with someone so weak and two, I don't trust him. He comes back sayin' all this crap about he learned all he could and he didn't plan on stayin' with Orochimaru and I'm just supposed to forget him tryin' to kill me and leavin' me layin' there at the Valley of The End like a piece of trash? Enh-enh! As a matter of fact, I'm about two shakes of a rattlesnake's tail from walkin' over there and stompin' a mud hole in his ass, right now.

Sasuke: Why don't you come over here and try it?

Naruto start to approach Sasuke until Hinata grabs his hand, Naruto turns around and makes eye contact with Hinata. He reads the look in Hinata's eyes tellin' him to calm down, to everyone's surprise, Naruto complies.

Naruto: That son of a bitch ain't worth it, anyway.

Hinata glances and Tsunade who gives her a look that says "thank you," Tsunade continues.

Tsunade: Having heard Naruto's objections, do you have anything to say, Sasuke?

Naruto: Answer her!

Sasuke: I really don't care, as long as this loser doesn't hold me back.

Naruto scoffs.

Tsunade: It's interesting that you mention Orochimaru, because that's what you're mission is. I'm sending your team, Sasuke's team, Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Sakura to capture him for information he might have on the Akatsuki.

Naruto: Why all of us?

Tsunade: I'm pretty sure that you and Jiraiya could kill him, but I want you to capture him and who knows who or what could be waiting for you in his lair, so I'm sending Sasuke and his team because of their detailed knowledge of Orochimaru's hideouts..

Naruto: Fourth Hokage, there ain't no reason to send everyone here, you just point me in that creepy little bastard's direction and I'll drag his ass back here or my name ain't Naruto Uzumaki.

Jiraiya: Just the same, we'll all be going to capture him.

Tsunade: Go get ready, you leave immediately.


	22. Creepy Little Bastard What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Creepy Little Bastard. What!**

The team travels toward their destination. Naruto takes a look over at Sasuke. Flashback. 

Shino: How do you feel about this?

Naruto: What?

Shino: How do you feel about teaming with Sasuke and his team?

Naruto: What? You wanna know how I feel? What? Hell, son, it's like this, I don't trust that son of a bitch and I think they're gonna screw us over the first chance they get, but if you think really this mission only makes it better 'cuz it only puts those pieces of trash closer to me when they do.

End flashback.

Naruto: Listen, you son of a bitch, you stay the hell outta my way or I'm gonna whup your ass worse that that creepy little bastard.

Sasuke tries to ignore Naruto.

Kakashi: Naruto, calm down.

Naruto: What? Calm down, if you want me to calm down then you come over here and calm me down.

Kakashi: Naruto, we're on a mission.

Naruto: Listen, you half-eyed son of a bitch, I don't give a rat's ass about your stupid little mission 'cuz as far as I'm concerned, this ain't nothin' but takin' a walk.

Jiraiya: Just the same, Orochimaru is still formidable.

Naruto: What? Why, because he can raise people from the dead and deals with the underworld? Well, I don't know if Orochimaru's checked the weather, but hell is about to freeze over and when I'm done, I'm gonna deal with that emo son of a bitch right there so believe 'cuz Naruto said so.

Hinata grabs Naruto by the hand, Naruto looks turns to Hinata.

Naruto: Just remember this, Sasuke, it ain't over. Win, lose, or draw, it wasn't ever gonna be over 'til I say so, you ain't never finished with Naruto Uzumaki, son. The only person that gets to finish with Naruto Uzumaki around here is Hinata, if you get my drift.

Hinata blushes at Naruto's comment. After traveling a bit longer, a question pops into Jiraiya's head. Flashback. Jiraiya and Kakashi remain in Tsunade's office after Naruto and the rest go get prepared.

Jiraiya: Do you really think it was necessary to send all of us? I believe that Naruto himself could handle Orochimaru.

Tsunade: That may be true, but he has a point with trusting Sasuke's team.

Kakashi: You think they'll betray us?

Tsunade: I don't know but better safe than sorry.

End flashback. 

Jiraiya: Just how did the four of you escape Orochimaru?

Sasuke: Actually, it was quite simple.

Jiraiya: Really?

Sasuke: Yeah, I kicked him in the balls and took off.

Kakashi: Seriously?

Sasuke: Yeah.

Suigetsu: That's what I did.

Karin: Same here.

Juugo: Me, too.

Naruto was kind of impressed.

Naruto: (thinking) Shinobi often underestimate the usefulness of a good kick in the balls.

Jiraiya: So, he still has balls?

Sasuke: If not, I don't know what the hell we hurt.

The team crosses a barrier that Orochimaru placed around his lair.

Kabuto: Lord Orochimaru, there are some intruders, eleven it would appear.

Orochimaru: Hhm, well, we wouldn't want to be bad hosts, let's go greet them.

The team stops. Kiba stops next to Karin, Kiba discreetly grabs Karin's butt, startling Karin a bit until she realizes who's hand it was, she blushes as she looks at Kiba.

Karin: (mouthing) Bad dog.

Kiba turns his attention back to the task at hand.

Kiba: Why've stopped?

Sasuke: The entrance is up ahead.

Voice: Hhm, it nice to see you again, Sasuke.

Jiraiya: Well, well, it looks like business is about to pick up.

Naruto: Show yourself, you effeminate son of a bitch!

Orochimaru chuckles.

Orochimaru: Gladly.

Orochimaru appears before the team with Kabuto behind him.

Orochimaru: Well, I see you brought the rest of your treacherous friends but I'd never thought that you'd rejoin Konohagakure with them.

Jiraiya: Quiet, come with us, we have some questions for you.

Orochimaru: I don't think so.

That's all Naruto needed to hear, Naruto begins his attack.

Orochimaru: I have plans and returning to Konohagakure isn't part of…

A Naruto clone appears behind Kabuto and incapacitates him, he approaches Orochimaru from behind and turns him around. A look of pure shock washes over Orochimaru's face as Naruto plants a right hand staggering him, Naruto pursues, turns him again and places another right hand across his face. Orochimaru stagger and falls between Naruto and the rest of the team., Naruto continues his attack but Orochimaru places a well-timed kick to Naruto's chest knocking him back. Orochimaru regains his composure and gets back to his feet, the rest of the team gets ready to join in.

Naruto: Stay outta this, he's mine. What? Nice one. What!

Orochimaru: Well, you're not just that Nine-tailed brat anymore are you?

Naruto looks to his team.

Naruto: If you want to see me whup this creepy little bastard's ass, give me a "hell yeah."

Hinata & Kiba: Hell yeah!

Akamaru: Woof!

Naruto and Orochimaru charge each other, Orochimaru extends his tongue as Naruto draw a kunai.

Naruto: What?

Naruto ducks the tongue and slides under Orochimaru. 

Naruto: (thinking) Oh, hell no!

Naruto contemplates his next attack until Suigetsu catches his eye.

Naruto: (thinking) Son of a bitch.

Naruto foregoes attacking Orochimaru and levels Suigetsu, Naruto pounds Suigetsu relentlessly until Orochimaru's interrupts him.

Orochimaru: I thought you were fighting me.

Orochimaru knocks Naruto back, he turns to Suigetsu.

Orochimaru: Treacherous dog.

Orochimaru gives Suigetsu a kick to the ribs. Orochimaru turns around to face Naruto.

Naruto: Sack Attack!

Naruto kicks Orochimaru in the balls violently, Orochimaru falls to the ground.

Orochimaru: (straining) Not again.

Naruto flips off everyone not on Team Kurenai as he approaches Orochimaru, he closes in on Orochimaru. Naruto picks Orochimaru up by the hair but is surprised with a punch to the balls, Naruto collapses to the ground next to Orochimaru. Naruto points at his groin as he yells at everyone.

Naruto: What the hell are you waiting for?

Team Kurenai prepares to join in until Jiraiya stops them.

Naruto: What?

Jiraiya: You said not to join, besides you kicked him in the balls.

Jiraiya flips Naruto off. The Naruto standing with the team disperses, the energy from the clone levels of the pain in Naruto's groin. 

Jiraiya: So, that was the clone?

Sakura: When did he create it?

Naruto jumps up and continues his assault on Orochimaru, Naruto stomps him three times, flips him off and stomps him one more time. Naruto stomps around the Orochimaru mouthing off to the rest of the team.

Naruto: If you think Naruto Uzumaki is the toughest son of a bitch in the history of shinobi, you got that shit right.

Orochimaru stretches his tongue and wrap it around Naruto's ankle, he slams lifts Naruto high into the air and slams him to the ground. Orochimaru performs some hand signs.

Orochimaru: Forbidden Juts…

Naruto appears in front of Orochimaru and kicks him in the stomach causing him to bend over, Naruto turns and pulls Orochimaru's head to his shoulder falling to a seated position to the ground. To everyone's surprise, Orochimaru was able to counter by stretching his neck before impact. 

Kiba: Naruto's right, this guy's creepy.

Jiraiya: Stay on guard, Naruto's not done yet but you never know what Orochimaru has up his sleeve.

Orochimaru: You have grown under that fool's tutelage, but you are facing one of the sannin, child. Ninja Art: Underwo…

Another Naruto appears behind Orochimaru and begins choking him, Orochimaru tries to counter by again stretching his neck, but Naruto wraps his legs around his torso to prevent this. Unable to escape from the hold, Orochimaru steady loses consciousness. 

Orochimaru: (drifting out of consciousness) Defeated by a child.

Orochimaru regains consciousness, he tries to move but soon realizes that he's been restrained.

Kabuto: It's no use, I haven't found anyway out yet.

In the hokage's office, the team is debriefing Tsunade on the mission.

Naruto: Hell, I told you that you didn't need to send everyone for this mission, you were just wastin' everyone's time.

Tsunade: So, what happened?

Naruto: What? What happened? What? Hell, I told you what I was gonna do, I drug his sorry carcass back here.

Tsunade looked to the rest of the team.

Tsunade: Is that all?

Kakashi looks up from reading his copy of the latest volume of the Icha Icha series.

Kakashi: Actually, yes, I was even able to get caught up on some chapters.

Tsunade: In that case, I'll have Ibiki begin interrogation of Orochimaru immediately. I'll call inform you when we have something.

Everyone leaves the Naruto, Sakura, Team Kurenai and Sasuke's team leave the hokage's office. 

Kiba: So, Naruto, what are you gonna do?

Naruto: Hell, Me and Hinata are gonna drink some sake and raise some hell, I don't know what else you were expectin'. How 'bout you, kid?

Kiba looks over at Karin who smiles at Kiba, Kiba smiles back.

Kiba: (mouthing words) My place.

Kiba winks at Karin.

Kiba: Oh, I've got plans.

Naruto: Oh, hell yeah!

Kiba: What about you, Shino?

Shino: My father has a new type of bug that he wants me to help study.

Naruto takes a look at Shino.

Naruto: (thinking) Hell, that son of a bitch is as creepy as Orochimaru, anyway.

Naruto raises his hand and a bottle of sake come flying in, Naruto catches it and hands it to Hinata, he catches two more, toasts himself and pours the sake down his throat, getting more on his clothes than in his mouth. While Naruto was talking to Kiba and Shino, Hinata and Sakura had there own conversation.

Sakura: What are you going to do with the rest of your day?

Hinata: I don't know, Naruto's probably gonna drink sake and raise some hell, it's kinda his thing at this point. You wanna join us?

Sakura is kinda hesitant but accepts the invitation.

Sakura: Sure

Hinata takes a bottle of sake from Naruto.

Hinata: Hey, give Sakura one.

Naruto turns and looks at Sakura, surprised. Sakura speaks up, showing her own bravado.

Sakura: Hey, I'm pretty bad-ass. I've whipped plenty ass while you were gone.

Naruto grins at Sakura.

Naruto: What? "Bad-ass." What? "Whipped plenty ass." What?

An amused Naruto smiles as he collects another set of sake for himself, Hinata, and Sakura.

Naruto: Here ya' go, "bad-ass."

Sakura: Thanks.

Naruto: (sarcastically) Hell, I hope I can keep up with ya'.

The trio downs their respective bottles of sake.

Naruto: Let's go.

Sakura: What's next?

Naruto: We drink more of this sake and raise some that hell that I've been hearin' so much about.


	23. The Morning After What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTER OR THIS SONG.**

**The Morning After. What!**

Naruto wakes in the morning as the sunlight finally reaches his eye through the window. Feeling the body laying at his side, Naruto, still groggy, turns and wraps his arms around it. The person nuzzles up to Naruto letting out a slight moan, Naruto kisses the person on the forehead. The forehead felt different to Naruto's lips, Naruto reaches up to the person hair, and it felt shorter than normal.

Naruto: Did you cut your hair last night?

The person next to Naruto simply moans again, Naruto realizes that the hair wasn't what was different, it was the forehead.

Naruto: (thinking) Hinata's forehead isn't this big.

Naruto grabs the person's breasts, the woman next to him moans as Naruto massages them to get a feel for them. 

Naruto: (thinking) They seem smaller.

Naruto reaches and grabs her vagina, his probe causes her to moan a little harder. 

Naruto: (thinking) Her pussy's fatter. What the hell?

Naruto stops as he struggles to process the information. 

Woman: Hmm, why'd you stop, Naruto?

The voice, not being the voice that Naruto was used to hearing in his bed, causes Naruto to open her eyes fully.

Naruto: What?! Sakura?

Naruto is taken by surprise by the head full of pink hair in front of him.

Naruto: What the hell are you goin' here?

The woman next to him finally comes around.

Sakura: What? What are you talkin' 'bout? I was here the whole night.

Naruto: What? Oh, hell no. You couldn't have been here last night.

Naruto gets out of the bed, he turns to Sakura.

Sakura: Looks like you're ready for more.

Sakura points towards Naruto's member, Naruto looks down and notices his morning erection.

Naruto: What. This is serious, if Hinata catches us in here…

Sakura: Ooh, Naruto. You worry too much.

Naruto: No, what?

Sakura removes the covers from here exposing her naked body, she crawls over to Naruto and sits directly in front of him.

Sakura: Beside, you didn't seem too concerned with her last night.

Sakura began stroking Naruto's member.

Naruto: What? No! Look, it's like this you gotta get outta here. Hinata has a key, if she finds us like this, she'll…

Voice: What the fuck?

Naruto turns around and finds a visibly angry Hinata standing at his bedroom door.

Naruto: Uh, Hinata, this ain't what it looks like.

Hinata: Really? To me it looks like you standing alone in a room with Sakura, naked and erect.

Naruto looks at his himself then at Sakura.

Naruto: Okay, it's exactly what it looks like. Hell, nothing happened.

Sakura: Oh, miss me with that bullshit, I'm not a fool.

Hinata turns around heading for the door.

Naruto: Stop!

Hinata stops and turns around to face Naruto. Naruto does something totally unexpected, he drops to his knees.

Naruto: It's like this, I know I screwed up, but please to go. I'll never do it again.

Hinata approaches a still kneeling Naruto, she takes her right hand and places it behind Naruto's head as he wraps his arms around her waist. Hinata looks at Sakura.

Hinata: Told ya' I could make him freak out.

Naruto looks up at the both of them confused as they burst out with laughter. 

Naruto: What?

Hinata: You mean you don't remember, last night? I was here the whole time.

Sakura: Hell, she was the star of the show, this was just a joke she thought of.

Hinata: I can see it now, Big, bad Naruto brought down to his knees by poor, little ol' Hinata.

Naruto: Piss off. So, how the hell did we end up here last night?

Hinata: You mean you really don't remember? You need to lay off of the sake. Well, it's like this.

Hinata and Sakura tell Naruto about the previous night. 

Hinata: Well, it all started out nice we started out at Ichiraku's. He and Ayame were tellin' us stories about you and stuff.

Sakura: Then we headed to a bar and you started a fight.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: Then the whole bar started fighting.

Naruto: What?

Sakura: Then you through everyone out, every last one right out the door.

Naruto: What? I must've been hammered.

Hinata: No, you weren't even drunk, yet. You just started fighting random people, and then we started drinking.

Naruto: What?

Sakura: The Hinata and I were, uh, what were we doing?

Hinata: I think we were talking about someone while you were just intimidating the bartender refusing to serve you, which is the reason you started fighting.

Naruto: What? Hell, I guess he didn't get the memo.

Hinata: Then Team Gai came in to see what the problem was.

Flashback.

Gai: Alright, someone here is behaving very youthfully. I suspect it is you, Naruto.

Naruto's attention leaves the scared bartender and turns to Gai.

Lee: Just what exactly happened to you, we used to be kindred spirits. Now, I just don't know.

Naruto just stares at Gai.

Gai: Naruto, how can I show the virtues of youth?

Naruto: Hell, I don't know, son, cuz I think we both know how a fight between us would end.

Lee: Oh, I know, how about a friendly push-up contest?

Gai: That's a great idea. Well, how 'bout it, Naruto?

Naruto: Hell, son, that sounds like a good idea.

Naruto approaches he Gai with his hand extended for a handshake.

Naruto: May the best man win.

Gai: Ha ha! Now that's more like it.

Gai attempts to shake Naruto's hand but is met with a toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over, Naruto turns and pulls Gai's head to his shoulder and falls to a seated position to the ground. The impact causes Gai to bounce backward landing on his back, Naruto quickly climbs next to Gai and starts berating him while doing push-ups.

Naruto: That's what you get! That's what you get, you son of a bitch!

Jiraiya walks in with some girls on his arm.

Jiraiya: Oh, no, that the Nine-Tailed Number again. When are people gonna stop fallin' for that? Anyway, see that ladies? He's only one my students, do you know who's another student of mine? The Fourth Hokage, I train nothing but the best.

Girl #1: Wow.

Girl #2: You really must be something.

Jiraiya: Well, they don't call me the Toad Sage for nothin'.

The girls look at Jiraiya questioningly.

Girl #1: Toad?

Jiraiya: Well, yeah, you know what toads are known for right?

Girl #1: Jumping?

Girl #2: Warts?

Jiraiya: Their tongues.

The girls started giggling and blushing, Jiraiya start laughing his usual boisterous laugh. He guides them to a booth in the corner.

Jiraiya: And later, I'll take you to my lily pad

Girl #2: We can't wait.

Jiraiya: Oh, it's all good, baby. It's all good.

Meanwhile, Team Gai was checking on an unconscious Gai.

Lee: Naruto, how could you?

Lee got up and approached Naruto, there were face to face.

Naruto: Hell, son, he shouldn't pissed me off like that.

Lee: I should do something but your youthless actions will be their own punishment in the end.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. We can sit here flappin' our gums or we can drink some of this sake.

Lee hesitantly accepts, Neji finally notices what Lee is about to do.

Neji: Lee, no!

Neji tries to stop him but his too late, Lee takes a drink.

Lee: (slurring) Hey, this feels pretty good.

Lee start staggering all over the bar destroying things while Neji tried to restrain him. Lee breaks free of Neji and gives him a drunken fist style punch that sent him reeling. The drunken Lee spies Tenten.

Lee: (slurring) Hey, baby. You wanna know what all this exercise is good for?

Tenten: Lee, calm dow…

Lee: (slurring) Stamina.

Lee takes another drink of sake while eyeing Tenten up and down. The rest of their night was Neji trying to restrain Lee while he was going between drinking with an amused Naruto and advancing on Tenten. 

Neji: Careful, Lee.

Tenten: You're stepping on Gai-sensei.

People began to enter the bar and with Jiraiya there it kinda became somewhat of a party. Meanwhile, Sakura and Hinata had joined Naruto and resumed drinking with him from earlier.

Naruto: Hell, I'm surprised you can keep up like this.

Sakura: Honestly, this isn't my first time drinking I used to sneak some of the hokage's sake.

Naruto chuckles.

Sakura: Hey, Naruto?

Naruto: What?

Sakura: I'm sorry for, you know, the way I've treated you growing up. Hinata told me about the Kyuubi and your father, you're a here, Naruto.

Naruto: Hell, it's like this. If you wanna thank me, just keep drinkin' this sake and raise some hell with me.

Sometime passed and a drunk Hinata made a decision.

Hinata: I want to sing.

Sakura: Me, too.

Naruto: What? I didn't know this was a karaoke bar.

Bartender: It's not, where the hell did that come from?

Hinata and Sakura walked over to the Karaoke machine. Everyone in the bar became silent as the song started playing with the spotlight on Hinata and Sakura with their back to everyone.

Bartender: When the hell did we get a spotlight? Who the hell is payin' for all of this stuff?

Hinata and Sakura started tapping her feet with the song intro, Hinata turns and begins singing.

**Hinata:**

You got them all  
by the balls.  
Causing waterfalls,  
stone walls,  
bar brawls,  
climbing stalls,  
at concert halls.  
To you they crawl,  
body sprawled.  
Girl, you've got some gall,  
close call,  
stand tall.  
Doll you make them feel so small

**Sakura:**

And they love it!

**Hinata (Sakura):**

The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)

I wanna be her.

Yes, I do.

**Sakura:**

The way you rock,  
non stop.  
Girl, you've got the chops,  
flip flop,  
she bop,  
self taught,  
your licks are hot.  
Her lyrics heave,  
kids receive,  
crawling up her sleeve.  
Parents peeved,  
can't conceive  
that in deed we'll never leave

**Hinata:**

And we love it!

**Sakura (Hinata):**

The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)  
The girls wanna be her (The girls)  
The boys wanna be her (The boys)

I wanna be her.  
So do you.

**Hinata:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Sakura:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Hinata:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Sakura:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Hinata:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Sakura:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Hinata:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Sakura:**

Listen up  
Listen up  
Listen up  
Voices scatter

**Hinata (Sakura):**

The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her  
The girls wanna be her (scatter)  
The boys wanna be her

(Scatter)  
The Boys  
The Girls

(Scatter)  
The Boys  
The Girls

(Scatter)  
The Boys  
The Girls

(Scatter)  
The Boys  
The Girls

Everyone in the bar started applauding for the duo as they hugged each other in congratulation. End Flashback.

Naruto: So, what else happened?

Hinata: Well, first, Tenten eventually got drunk and she disappeared with Lee.

Naruto: What?

Sakura: Then we left and came back here and drank some more.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: I put on some music, then I started to dance for you.

Naruto: What?

Sakura: Then I got up and we both started dancing.

Naruto: What?

Hinata: You were watching us and we started grinding on each other and then we started kissing and we ended up in here.

Naruto: What?

Sakura: Honestly, all you did was watch us. You didn't do anything.

Hinata: You said you were the special "referee" in our match last night.

A relieved, but still nude Naruto stood went and sat down on the bed. He's taken by surprise as the nude Sakura straddles him. 

Sakura: But I think we should make this next match a triple threat.

Sakura looks back at an already undressed Hinata.

Hinata: Oh, hell yeah.

Hinata walks up behind Sakura and gives he a deep kiss, Sakura leans forward and kisses Naruto in the mouth while Hinata knelt down and took Naruto into her mouth. 

Sakura: Now, you're gonna get what you missed out on last night.


	24. Triple Threat What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Triple Threat. What!**

Naruto and Sakura continue kissing as Hinata continues to run her mouth up and down his length. 

Sakura: Oh, this reminds me, Naruto. You weren't completely left out of everything, you did throw in some moves.

Naruto: Like what?

Hinata peaks out from behind Sakura.

Hinata: Smell your breath.

Naruto breathes into his hand and smells his own breath.

Naruto: (thinking) Ass!

Flashback.

Jiraiya: …and speaking of anal, the anus is a very sensitive orifice. Men and women alike sometimes enjoy having their asses licked. I remember one time, I was lying in the bed and this girl took her tongue and…

Naruto: STOP! Listen here, you disgusting old man, I ain't lickin' nobody's ass. Believe it 'cuz Naruto said so!

Naruto and Jiraiya glare at each other.

Naruto: You're fuckin' gross.

End flashback.

Naruto: Whose ass was…?

Naruto is interrupted as Sakura climbs up and straddles his face. Sakura moans as Naruto licks Sakura's folds, Naruto massages Sakura's breast with one hand while stroking Hinata's head with the other. Sakura hung her head back, licking her lips in pleasure.

Sakura: (thinking) He's better than Hinata.

Sakura massages her other breast while squeezing Naruto's hand, she writhes more and more quickly as she reaches her climax. Sensing she's close, Naruto flicks his tongue over her clit faster and faster as he gets closer his Hinata induced released. 

Sakura: NARUTO!

Sakura's reached down and gripped Naruto's hair as she came, Naruto raised his middle fingers in the air as he climaxed into Hinata's mouth. Hinata climbs up on the bed and grabs Sakura by the head and jams her lips in to Sakura's, the begin slipping their tongues in each other's mouths.

Sakura: (thinking) What's this in Hinata's mouth, is that Naruto's cum?

Sakura swallows Naruto's seed, she is whisked away to a dark room.

Kyuubi: So, it you, the bitch with the mean right hook.

A frightened Sakura stood speechless before the Kyuubi No Kitsune.

Kyuubi: Speak!

Sakura: W, w, what are you? Don't tell me that you're the kyuubi No Kitsune.

Kyuubi: Do I frighten you, little girl? You shouldn't be, because of the 4th hokage, I'm unable to rend you asunder as I would have years ago even if I wanted to.

Sakura: Wanted to?

Kyuubi: If you are here before me, that can only mean one thing.

Sakura stand there confused.

Sakura: What?

The Kyuubi chuckles.

Kyuubi: That you want to be with that brat.

Sakura stands silent.

Kyuubi: Well, do you?

Sakura starts to remember the past and how much Naruto has been there for here throughout the years and how Sasuke abandoned her, Sakura gather all the courage she can and looks the Kyuubi square in the eye.

Sakura: Yes.

Kyuubi: Then take my spirit.

Sakura: Thank you. Inner Sakura: Cha! Bring it on.

Sakura's vision turns to one of a pink fox lying on orange grass. Sakura comes to, finding herself still kissing Hinata. Hinata breaks the kiss.

Hinata: Time for us to take a ride.

Naruto tries to get up, but Hinata and Sakura push him back down to the bed.

Sakura & Hinata: Stay down.

Hinata positions herself on Naruto's face, while Sakura moves down and positions herself over Naruto's member with her back to Hinata's back. She slides down on it until it reaches her barrier, the pain paralyzes her for a moment. After the pain subsides, Sakura slides down further and starts to grind on Naruto. With the pain replaced with pleasure, Sakura starts to slide up and down Naruto. Hinata begins to gyrate on Naruto's face as the sensation of Naruto's tongue dancing in, out, and all around her love increases.

Naruto: (thinking) My jaw is gonna fall off.

Sakura and Hinata are screaming as they're ready to explode, screaming so loud that the people passing by can hear it.

Old Man: Two girls, this time? His hit rate's almost as good as mine was.

Old Woman: I thought I was the only woman you were ever with.

The old man puts cups his ear with his hand.

Old Man: What's that, dear?

Old Woman: Don't play deaf with me, you heard me.

Kid: I wanna be like him when I grow up.

Back inside, Sakura continues sliding up and down faster and faster. Hinata turns on Naruto's face and reaches around Sakura to place one hand on her breast, rubs her clit with the other and takes her other breast into her mouth. The combined sensations cause Sakura to goes over the edge.

Sakura: NARU…!

Sakura falls over to the side off of Naruto as waves of ecstasy engulf her. Naruto quickly pushes Hinata off of his face.

Naruto: Bot tim.

Naruto adjusts his jaw.

Naruto: 'Bout time.

Naruto grabs Hinata by the hips and positions her on all fours.

Naruto: Now it's time for some payback.

Sakura finally recovers from her intense orgasm, as she watches Naruto hammer Hinata from behind, she remembers a talk she had with the hokage and Shizune. Flashback.

Tsunade: So, Sakura, any of the boys caught your interest lately?

Sakura blushes.

Sakura: No, not really. I haven't even looked at a boy since Sasuke and Naruto left.

Tsunade: Oh, so it out of those two for you, huh?

Sakura's blush deepens.

Tsunade: Wait, so you haven't had sex yet, have you?

Sakura: No, ma'am.

Tsunade: Good, you should wait until the right one comes along. Let me tell you, though, when you find that special man there's nothin' like a nice stiff one. I mean, if he does it right, you won't know what hit you. I remember Dan was so long and, man, could he go. Sometimes hours on end, sometimes he'd take it and stick it...

Shizune: Please, Lady Hokage. I don't want to hear about how you and my uncle got it on.

Tsunade: Remember though, don't give it all away at first, make him work for it.

End Flashback. Sakura watches as Naruto and Hinata finish each other off.

Sakura: (thinking) Sorry, I didn't make him work for it but, she was right.

Hinata falls to the bed as she and Naruto let themselves go. As Hinata and Sakura lay together on the bed, Naruto start getting dressed.

Hinata: Where are you going?

Naruto: To see if that old bag's gotten something out of Orochimaru yet, you comin'?

Hinata: Just did, but, seriously, gives us a minute.

Hinata and Sakura get themselves together and they leave for the hokage's office. Along the way Sakura decided to make a stop.

Sakura: You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.

Hinata and Naruto enter arrive at the hokage's office to find her already meeting with Sasuke's team, Kakash and the rest of Team Kurenai.

Naruto: Well?

Tsunade: First, don't walk in here like you own the place, I'm the hokage. Second, well what?

Naruto: Those sons of bitches said anything yet?

Tsunade: I'll have you know that I was about to send for you, you son of a bitch.

Naruto: Well, what the hell did they say?

Tsunade: We found out the…

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: We found out the…

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: I said we found out the location of one of Akatsuki's hideouts.

Naruto: Where is it?

Tsunade: The Land of…

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: The Land of W…

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: Damn it, the Land of Wave! It will be the same teams as your Orochimaru mission without Jiraiya.

Naruto: Where the hell is he?

Kakashi: He found out some intel on the leader on Akatsuki and went off to do some reconnaissance.

Naruto: Hell, you know what kinda son of bitches the foot soldiers are, why the hell are you sending one man to take on the leader of the group?

Tsunade: It's what Jiraiya wanted.

Naruto: That perverted son of a bitch just better bring his sorry carcass back alive or I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in his ass.

Sakura: When do we leave?

Everyone turns around to find Sakura who just entered the room.

Tsunade: Sakura?

Tsunade was shock to see Sakura's new attire, she was wearing a red shirt with the same pink fox playing on an orange field from her vision completed with black form fitting shorts. Sakura walks in and stands on the Naruto's opposite shoulder from Hinata, looking at the situation and the similarities between Hinata'a and Sakura's looks, it was clear what happened.

Tsunade: (thinking) So, he got her too.

Sakura: Well, when do we leave?

Tsunade: Well, now that you're here, immediately.


	25. Lady's Night What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Lady's Night. What!**

Naruto and company arrive at the location given to them by Orochimaru.

Kakashi: Alright, we'll proceed slowly and quietly. Understood?

Naruto: What?

Naruto walks right up to the hideout and kicks the door down followed by Hinata and Sakura, Kakashi sighs as he knows that he couldn't stop Naruto even if he tried.

Kakashi: Well, we might as well enter.

Naruto stomps through the hideout calling out any members of Akatsuki present.

Naruto: Come on out you sons of bitches, Naruto Uzumaki got a little present for ya'.

After searching the entire building, the Konoha shinobi start the doubt the information given to them.

Kakashi: Maybe they changed bases, which would be the best idea knowing the Orochimaru left.

Sasuke: We shouldn't have trusted him in the first place, for all we know this could've been a trap.

Naruto: Hell, son, that's the most sense you've made since I've known ya' and when I get back, I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in his ass for makin' me go through all this trouble.

Voice: You're right, Sasuke.

Sasuke: (thinking) That voice!

Two figures appear before the group of shinobi.

Sasuke: So, you've decided to show yourself. Eh, Itachi?

Naruto: Ain't you the son of a bitch that tried to kidnap me two and half years ago? What?

Itachi stands silent.

Naruto: What! Hell, son, I'd like to see you try it this time…

Sasuke: Naruto! He's mine.

Naruto: What? Hell, son, I done told ya' before. What! Ain't nobody gonna tell ol' Naruto Uzumaki what to do. What! So after I whip his ass. What! I'm gonna whip yours. What! Believe it 'cuz Naruto said so. What!

Sasuke: He murdered my entire family and left me alone to wallow in shame and loneliness.

Naruto: What? That son of a bitch is trying to kill me.

Sasuke: No one will rob me of vengeance, now I said he's mine so he's MINE!!!!

Naruto sees the resolve in Sasuke's eyes.

Naruto: Hell, son, when you put it that way, how can I say no? He's all yours.

Itachi: Are you two finished? You should not have trusted Orochimaru, but it seems that he was truthful this time.

Sasuke: It really doesn't matter…

Sasuke activates his sharingan.

Sasuke: …because you are going to die here.

Itachi activates his sharingan.

Itachi: I look forward to seeing how much you've grown since you little embarrassing display two and a half years ago. I think we need a little privacy, wouldn't you agree?

Sasuke: I was just about to suggest the same thing.

Itachi and Sasuke disappear.

Suigetsu: Kisame Hoshigaki and his great sword, The Samehada…

Kisame takes notice of the grinning Suigetsu.

Suigetsu: Do you remember me? I'm Mangetsu Houzuki's brother, Suigetsu Houzuki.

Kisame: Are you now? I didn't even recognize you. You've really grown, Suigetsu.

Suigetsu: Since we're stuck here waiting for Sasuke, what say we kill some time? Let's have a little fun.

Kisame: I see you haven't lost your mischievous streak. All right, I'll gladly shave a few layers off you!

Naruto and the rest look on as Suigetsu and Kisame began their duel.

Naruto: Hell, I guess there ain't nothin' for us to do.

Voice: I wouldn't say that. I mean you did interrupt us.

Naruto: What? Who the hell are you?

Voice: I'm S…

Naruto: What?

Voice: I'm Sas…

Naruto: What?

Voice: I'm Sasor…

Voice: What?

Voice: I'm Sasori of The Red Sand, damn it!

Another figure steps out of the shadows.

Deidara: And you may call me Deidara.

Naruto: And just what do you two want?

Deidara: You've interrupted us and interrupting two artists such as ourselves deserves punishment. To be truthful, though, I'd love nothing more that to show up that Uchiha and his worthless genjutsu by securing his Jinchuriki.

Kakashi: Everyone prepare yourselves.

Naruto: Ain't no need for that 'cuz judging from the looks of them, I could whup both of their asses with both hands tied behind my back.

Naruto turns to Deidara.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. The only thing you're gonna secure is an ass-whupping, believe it 'cuz Na…

Before Naruto could finish, Hinata and Sakura step in between him and the other two members of Akatsuki.

Hinata: We're tired of you havin' all the fun.

Sakura: I think it's our turn to raise some hell.

Hinata: I'll take the blonde guy.

Sakura: You must have a thing for blondes, you gonna go after Ino next?

Hinata: Whatever, let's do this. BYAKUGAN!

Naruto could only sit there and smile as Hinata and Sakura attack Deidara and Sasori. Hinata's charge was interrupted by some of Deidara's exploding clay barreling towards her forcing her to dodge. Deidara takes a moment to set himself up with some clay in the form of birds and sends them towards Hinata. With her byakugan activated, Hinata notices that the clay was explosive after being infused with Deidara's chakra, Hinata quickly countered them with her Gentle Fist rendering them inert.

Deidara: Damn it!

Meanwhile, Sakura was busy dealing with Sasori.

Sakura: (thinking) Damn it, that tail makes things a little more difficult. Just what the hell is he?

During her reprieve, Hinata takes notice of Sakura's situation. She takes a look at Sasori and helped Sakura with some information afforded to her by her Byakugan.

Hinata: Sakura, he's inside! You have to destroy the outside to reach him.

Sakura: Got it.

Sasori fires at Sakura with his projectile launcher on his left arm, Sakura dodges as she charges Sasori. Sasori tries to defend with his tail when Sakura gets close, expecting this, Sakura grabs the tail and uses the immense strength taught to her by Tsunade and flings Sasori into the ground disabling his exoskeleton. Naruto, who had now divided himself up into several clones, some playing darts, some shooting pool, all drinking sake, took notice of Sakura's feet simply raised two middle fingers up in the air in celebration.

Kakashi: You're not even worried about what's going on, Naruto?

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. Those two ain't gonna lose to them sorry sons of bitches and even if by some small chance they do, I'm gonna be right here to stomp a mudhole their asses, believe it 'cuz Naruto said so.

While Sakura was manhandling Sasori, Hinata had now closed in on Deidara with what appeared to be to lion heads made out of chakra in her hands and landed a blow to his chest, Naruto raised his middle fingers in the air again in celebration for Hinata.

Naruto: Hell, I guess he really wasn't worth a damn once you get past those clay things.

As Hinata finished off Deidara, Sasori made his way out of the rubble of Hakuro.

Hinata: Need help?

Sakura: Wouldn't mind it.

Sasori looks at the two Kunoichi.

Sasori: Are you ready?

Sakura: I think the real question is, are you?

Hinata: If you wanna see Hinata and Sakura whup this son of a bitch's ass, give me a hell yeah.

Naruto: OH, HELL YEAH!

Hinata: Well, you heard the man.

Sakura: Let's get to it.


	26. No More Perv What?

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**No More Perv. What?**

Hinata and Sakura have come to a stalemate with Sasori, Sakura and her medical knowledge counteracted his poisons and he was unable penetrate Hinata's defense but the two kunoichi were unable to get close to him. 

Sakura: Damn it! I wish Naruto would've taught us that teleportation thing he does.

Hinata: Yeah, that would be a big help right now.

Kakashi and Naruto watch on as Hinata and Sakura faces of with Sasori and a hundred of his puppets.

Kakashi: Naruto, how could you still not be worried with Hinata and Sakura facing all of those puppets.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. Bad asses don't die so you can just start reading you can start readin' your little book.

Hinata moves over to Sakura to form a new strategy.

Hinata: Look, it's like this, I've had it with this jackass, so I'm gonna cut his chakra strings with my Gentle Fist then you're gonna crush his body with that insane strength of yours.

Sakura: Just stay out of the way when I get my hands on this son of a bitch, the only question is how you're gonna get close to him for you to cut all of those strings.

Hinata: Got it! Now, here's what where gonna do…

Hinata and Sakura charge at Sasori.

Sasori: So, they're ready to make a move.

Sasori counters Hinata and Sakura's charge with his puppets.

Hinata & Sakura: Got 'em.

Sakura and Hinata stops and Sakura throws Hinata over the puppets toward Sasori.

Sasori: What!

Naruto holds up his middle fingers as Hinata lands in front of Sasori, Hinata quickly uses her Gentle Fist to sever the chakra strings in Sasori's chest.

Hinata: It's clear, Sakura!

Sakura charges is and uses her power to know Sasori's head completely off of his puppet body, the two kunoichi walk up to Sasori's head. Hinata flips him off and Sakura crushes it.

Hinata: Jackass.

Sakura: Son of a bitch.

Naruto watches and smiles as he watches as Hinata and Sakura stomps and mouths off similarly to him after he triumphs over someone.

Kakashi: You must be proud to call them yours.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. There are only a few things in this world that makes me happy, that's drinkin' sake, my middle fingers, four letter words, and drinkin' more sake…

Naruto takes another look and Hinata and Sakura.

Naruto: …but I think you can add them to the list.

Hinata and Sakura run up to Naruto and embrace him.

Hinata: We whupped his ass, didn't we?

Sakura: See, you aren't the only badass 'round here.

Naruto: Yeah, but the hell are those two funny-eyed jackasses and their friends with the overcompensating swords?

Kakashi: They have been gone for awhile but he wanted to do this alone.

Naruto: So, what the hell are supposed to do, wait for him to comeback?

Kakashi: No, we search for him and give him back up.

Voice: Uh, sorry, but I can't let you do that.

A masked man appears before Naruto and the others.

Naruto: Who the hell are you?

Voice: Oh, me? I'm Tobi, I work for the Akatsuki.

Kiba: Then why aren't you dressed like them?

Tobi: Oh, that's because I'm not a full-fledged member yet. If you had to call me anything, you can call me an intern, I guess.

Naruto: What?

Tobi: An in…

Naruto: What?

Tobi: An int…

Naruto: What?

Tobi: Oh, I see what you're doin'. Well, anyway, I can't let you pass. It's nothing personal, but I've got orders.

Tobi stands at attention and salutes as Naruto walks up to him.

Naruto: You know, I've got an order for you, too.

Tobi: Oh, what's that?

Naruto: This, right here!

Naruto flips Tobi off and gives him a toe kick to the stomach, but to Naruto's surprise his foot passes through Tobi, followed by his leg and the rest of his body. A surprised Naruto looks back up at Tobi.

Naruto: What the fuck?

Naruto gets up and starts running toward Tobi, he jumps up onto Tobi's upper body and falls through him again.

Kakashi: This is getting strange now.

After a few attempts on Tobi, what seems to be a giant Venus fly-trap grows out of a wall. The plant opens to reveal a green-haired man with to different skin colors.

Zetsu: It's over.

Tobi: Who won?

Zetsu: Sasuke.

Tobi: And the others?

Zetsu: Still battling with Kisame.

Tobi: Let's go.

Kakashi notices the exposed eye of Tobi.

Kakashi: Sharingan?

After a diligent search, they decide to head back to Konohagakure. Kakashi reports to Tsunade.

Tsunade: I see. And you couldn't find any trace Sasuke?

Kakashi: No, we searched the entire are but there were no signs of Sasuke or even Itachi for that matter.

Voice: Excuse me.

Tsunade and Kakashi find Pa staring at them.

Tsunade: Aren't you one of Jiraiya's toads?

Pa: No, Jiraiya's one of my students. In any case, I have news of Jiraiya.

After hearing Pa's news, Tsunade sent an ANBU to retrieve Naruto. The ANBU enters through Naruto's window and find him, Hinata, and Sakura mid-coitus. 

ANBU: Naruto.

Naruto, Hinata, & Sakura: What?

ANBU: The hokage needs to see you, she says that it's urgent news on Lord Jiraiya.

The ANBU leaves before Naruto can ask any questions. Naruto arrives with Hinata and Sakura at Tsunade's office.

Naruto: Listen, it's like this, I don't give a rat's ass who the perverted son of a bitch been peepin' on.

Tsunade: Naruto!

Naruto: What?

Tsunade: This is serious, Jiraiya's dead.

Naruto: What?


	27. Hell And Back What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Hell and Back. What!**

Naruto sits alone at a local bar drinking sake, Hinata and Sakura, who had been trying in vain to console Naruto, sits at a nearby table. Ever since he got the news of Jiraiya's death, he'd been doing nothing but coming to the bar and drink. Flashback, the hokage's office.

Naruto: Ya' know, if there's one thing ol' Naruto Uzumaki hates, it's a liar. That son of a bitch is too perverted to die.

Pa: He was killed by the leader of The Akatsuki.

Naruto: Look, ya' damn amphibian, don't you start with the lyin', now that perverted son of bitch?

Kakashi: Naruto!

Naruto: What?!

Kakashi: He's dead.

Jiraiya looks around the room at Pa, Tsunade, Kakashi and Shizune and realizes that they're telling him the truth. As saddened expression covers Naruto's face and he leaves the office followed by Hinata and Sakura. That night, the Kyuubi pulls Naruto in for a visit while he slept.

Kyuubi: Don't tell me, you're actually sad.

Naruto stands silently before the Kyuubi's cage.

Kyuubi: Perhaps you don't share my spirit because if it was me, I would destroy everything. Destroy everything and everyone that hurt me.

End flashback, Kakashi enters the bar and Hinata and Sakura go to speak with him.

Kakashi: How is he?

Hinata: He isn't speaking but I can tell he's hurting inside.

Kakashi: How can you tell?

Hinata: 'Cuz he's been drinking that same bottle for an hour and a half now.

Sakura: He hasn't even spoken to us since we left the hokage's office.

Kakashi decides to give it a try at snapping Naruto out of it and goes and sits down next to Naruto.

Kakashi: How are you doing, Naruto?

Naruto just sits there staring off into space.

Kakashi: Listen, I know what you're going through. Jiraiya did, for you, what your father did for me. I grew up with no father and your father took it on himself to teach me about life and how to be a man, not just a shinobi. I wasn't the wild prankster you were but I was a dick and your father straightened me out. When he died, I did my best not to show it but my world came crashing down around me, for the second time I lost my guide in life and it hurt. Just remember to keep on moving and you'll cross paths again, one day. Besides, he died doing his duty.

Kakashi pats Naruto on the shoulder and walks back over to Hinata and Sakura.

Sakura: Well?

Kakashi: I don't know if I helped or not, but he should be alright.

Kakashi leaves the bar, Hinata and Sakura walk over to Naruto in another attempt to snap him out of his funk.

Hinata: Come on, Naruto, how 'bout we go back to your place?

Sakura: Or how 'bout we head to the hot spring?

When Sakura said hot spring, something stirred inside of Naruto and he remembered how he and Jiraiya often visited hot springs so that he could continue his research. Flashback, Naruto catches Jiraiya peeping on some girls in a hot spring.

Naruto: This is what you're doin' while I'm bustin' my ass trainin' you perverted son of a bitch?!

Jiraiya: Shh, you'll ruin my re…

Naruto gives Jiraiya a toe kick to the stomach causing Jiraiya to bend over. Naruto turns and pulls Jiraiya's head to his shoulder, Naruto falls to a seated position on the ground. The impact causes Jiraiya to bounce backward through the hot spring wall, startling the girls on the inside.

Girl #1: Let's get out of here!

End flashback. 

Naruto: (thinking) That perverted son of a bitch loved hot-springs.

Naruto got up and left the bar.

Hinata: Naruto? Naruto? Where the hell is he going?

Sakura: I don't know, at least he's up and about, now. Should we follow him?

Hinata: No, let's give him some space.

A despondent Naruto walks through the village, the villagers just looked on. Naruto turns a corner and bumps into Konohamaru and Ebisu.

Konohamaru: Hey, Naruto.

Naruto just remains silent.

Konohamaru: Listen, I just wanna say that we're here for you, even the older people who still kinda hated you when you got back. Just remember that it was you that helped me get over my grandfather's death, so that means that you can get over this and we'll be right here waiting for ya'.

Ebisu takes his turn to give Naruto words of encouragement.

Ebisu: That's right, Naruto. You've shown Konohamaru how to work hard and to not take shortcuts. Not only that, you being the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki has shown me that there are things that we can't control and this is one of those things. I let you being the Jinchuuriki control my thought process and meeting you let me know that I shouldn't have, don't let this control yours.

Konohamaru hugs Naruto and lets him continue, as Naruto treks around the village, he passes some of his classmates. Kiba and Shino.

Kiba: Hang in there, bro.

Shino: (thinking) Be strong, Naruto.

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio.

Ino: It'll be okay, Naruto.

Shikamaru stops Naruto.

Shikamaru: After losing Asuma-sensei, I know it's a drag, to lose your sensei and mentor but you have to remember that you have a responsibility to pass on everything that he taught you, so you have to keep on moving. When you keep that in mind, your pain will be replaced with a sense of duty.

Unable to find the words, Choji makes the greatest gesture he could.

Ino: Choji, that's your last potato chip. Are you sure?

Choji: Positive, it's the only way that I can express my feelings.

Understanding the gesture, Naruto takes the chip and gives Choji a slight nod. Naruto continues on until Gai and Lee stops him.

Gai: Naruto, Lee and I just want to say that even though you don't burn with the flame of youth, you still burn with a flame that's just as bright. Looking at Lee and myself, I can only think of one place that you could've gotten that flame from and that place is your master, Lord Jiraiya. Right, Lee?

Lee: Right, keep burning bright, Naruto.

Gai and Lee strike the Nice Guy pose, behind Lee and Gai were Neji and Tenten.

Tenten: I know that we don't interact a whole lot, Naruto but I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

Tenten hugs Naruto and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Neji: I'll just say this, there's a reason that my cousin has loved you so much for so long and that is your strength, Naruto. You'll get through this.

Naruto continues on trying to clear his head, he passes by Ichiraku Ramen shop and is met by Iruka.

Iruka: Hey, Naruto, how 'bout some ramen on me?

Naruto stops and decides to take Iruka up on his offer. Naruto and Iruka sits down, sensing Naruto's trouble, Iruka orders for the both of them.

Iruka: So, Naruto, you must be hurting pretty bad, huh?

Naruto sits in silence.

Teuchi: Here ya' go, two bowls.

Naruto and Iruka begin eating their bowls of ramen while Iruka speaks to Naruto.

Iruka: When my parents died, Naruto, my whole life changed. I no longer had anyone to be there for me when I was feeling down, to help me when I had a problem, or to support me while I was trying to become a shinobi. But you know what happened?

Naruto: What?

Iruka: Life moved on and I realized that it was going to move on with or without me, so I had no choice but to move on with it. Jiraiya wouldn't want you to feel like this, he'd want you to honor his memory.

Naruto: How am I supposed to do that?

Iruka: By going on being Konoha shinobi and doing what he died for, protecting the village.

Iruka and Naruto finished their ramen and Iruka joined Naruto on his walk, helping anyway he could. Their walk brought them to the Leaf Memorial Stone.

Voice: There you are!

Naruto and Iruka turn around and are shocked to find Hiashi Hyuuga storming towards them, Hiashi walks right up into Naruto's face.

Hiashi: Aren't you supposed to be the one that boosts my daughter's confidence? Aren't you supposed to the one to make her happy? Now, I am certain that you have, no doubt, fucked my daughter, so that means that you love her, right?

Naruto nods.

Hiashi: You know what you're supposed to do for the people you love? You protect them, now how are you supposed to do that walking around sulking like this? Huh?

Naruto: I…

Hiashi shoves Naruto.

Hiashi: Tell me!

Naruto: I'm…

Naruto becomes a little frustrated as Hiashi shoves Naruto again.

Hiashi: Tell me!

Naruto: I'm trying really hard not to lose my composure.

Hiashi: That may be true but you still haven't…

Hiashi shoves Naruto again.

Hiashi: …told me!

Naruto looks at Iruka and takes a breath. Surprising Hiashi, Naruto gives Hiashi and toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over. Naruto turns and pulls Hiashi's head to his should and falls to a seated position to the ground, the impact causes Hiashi to bounce into the air and land on his back. Naruto crawls over Hiashi and starts yelling at him in his face.

Naruto: Here's how I'm gonna do it, you son of bitch, don't you ever come down here mouthin' off to Naruto Uzumaki, son!

Just as Naruto was berating Hiashi, explosions rang out back at the Konohagakure.

Naruto: Iruka-sensei, take care of that son of a bitch and don't tell Hinata 'bout this. I don't want her mad at me for Numbin' her father, I'll go check out that explosion.

Naruto leaves Iruka with the unconscious Hiashi Hyuuga.

Hiashi: It worked.

Iruka: Huh? What worked?

Hiashi gets up just as if nothing happened to him.

Hiashi: Oh, I ran into Hinata while I was out in the village and she told me about Naruto. She how sad his sadness made her, I decided to do something about it and here I am.

Iruka: So it was all an act, clever.

On the way back to the village, Naruto runs into Konohamaru.

Naruto: The hokage told me to come get you, it's the leader of Akatsuki. He's attacking the village.

Flashback, back in the village the Six Paths of Pain and Konan were facing off with the Konoha Shinobi led by Tsunade.

God Path: We want the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki.

Tsunade: Be patient, we've already sent for him.

Hinata: You dicks are gonna wish you hadn't come here once he gets through with you.

Sakura: That's right.

Shikamaru: So you'd better be careful what you wish for.

Kiba inches behind Hinata.

Kiba: (whispering) Are we talking about the same Naruto from a few hours ago because he's…

Hinata: Shut up.

God Path: We want the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki and we want him now.

A voice comes from behind the Six Paths of Pain.

Naruto: Hell, son, ya' want me, ya' got me.


	28. A Slobber Knocker What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**A Slobber Knocker. What!**

Naruto: So you're the jackass that killed that perverted son of a bitch?

Deva Path: If you're referring to Jiraiya-sensei, then yes.

Naruto looks at Deva Path confused.

Deva Path: Oh, you didn't think that a man that traveled the world as Jiraiya-sensei did would only have disciples in only this village, did you? Now, come with me and help me bring pea…

Naruto: What?

Deva Path: We'll bring peace to the…

Naruto: What?

Deva Path: Pe…

Naruto: What?

Deva Path: We'l

Naruto: What?

Deva Path: We'll bring peace to the world, you son of a bitch!

Naruto: Peace? What? You said you're gonna bring peace? What? Who are ya? What? Buddha? What? Confucius? What? Shinto? What?

Deva Path: I am the only thing that can bring about peace, I am Pain.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. I don't give a rat's ass what they call ya'. Ya' done killed my master and that's somethin' that you shouldn't have done, son, 'cuz now you done pissed off ol' Naruto Uzumaki. So what I'm gonna do, son, is whup each one of your asses, then I'm gonna find the real you and stomp a mud hole in his ass so believe it 'cuz Naruto said so!

Deva Path: I've had enough of this. Shinra Tensei.

Deva Path holds out his hand and Naruto seems to float towards him but Naruto disappears before he reaches Deva Path. From the shadows, Naruto observes the Six Paths of Pain. 

Naruto: (thinking) Now they said that each one of them sons of bitches can see the same thing. I've gotta separate them.

Deva Path: Spread out and search for him.

Naruto appears behind each Path.

Naruto: Ain't no need for that, son.

Five of the Naruto's grabs a Path and teleports them away.

Deva Path: So, you know one of the secrets of the Rin'negan, it appears that sensei didn't die in vain. It doesn't matter, though. All I have to do is defeat each of your clones and eventually I'll find the real you.

Deva Path sends a huge stone towards Naruto, the stone shatters as Naruto lets it hit him.

Deva Path: So, you must be the real one. What? It can't be.

With his Rin'negan, Deva Path can see that the other Paths have successfully attacked the other Naruto clones and none have dissipated.

Deva Path: What kind of clones are these?

Naruto smiles and disappears, he reappears in front of Deva Path and delivers a right hand that rocks Deva Path, Deva Path staggers and Naruto is hot on his heels. Deva Path turns around and Naruto lands another right hand. Deva Path falls to the ground, Naruto turns Deva Path on his back and starts pummeling him with right hands.

Deva Path: Shinra Tensei

Naruto flies backward off of Deva Path, Deva Path gets back to his feet as Naruto is still disorientated on the ground. Deva Path kicks Naruto in the ribs causing Naruto to roll over in pain, Deva Path lifts Naruto to his feet and throws him into a wall on a nearby building. An agitated Hinata and Sakura have seen enough.

Hinata: Why are we just standin' here?

Sakura: Get him!

Naruto: Stay outta this! This son of a bitch is mine.

Deva Path chuckles at Naruto's bravado.

Deva Path: Shinra Tensei.

Naruto is forced through the wall into the building which turns out to be a bar, Naruto gets back to his feet. Deva Path grabs a still groggy Naruto and rams his head into the bar, Deva Path attempts to ram Naruto's head into the bar again but Naruto blocks it by using his hands to brace himself on the bar. Deva Path tries once more to ram Naruto's head into the bar and Naruto blocks it again, Naruto elbows Deva Path in the ribs.

Naruto: How 'bout a drink?

Naruto reaches takes a bottle of sake off of one of the tables and breaks it over Deva Path's head, flooring him. Deva Path tries to stand up but Naruto puts him back down by breaking a chair on his back. Outside, Hinata and the others were left to wonder.

Shikamaru: I wonder whose winning.

Hinata: Naruto, of course.

Sakura: Yeah, there's probably a mud hole in Pain's ass right now.

All of their questions were answered as Deva Path came crashing through the wall in the building. Naruto stood in the hole in the wall with a bottle of sake in his hand, Deva Path watches as Naruto toasts to him and take a swig of the sake to imbue it with his chakra. Naruto tosses the bottle of sake at Deva Path and creates a few hand signs.

Naruto: Outlaw Style: Sake Bomb.

Deva Path: Shinra Tensei.

Deva Path repels the bottle of sake away from him as it explodes.

Shikamaru: Whoa, what was that?

Hinata: Oh, that's right, you weren't there when he fought Sasuke. That was one of his Outlaw Jutsu.

Deva Path scrambles to his feet as Naruto closes in on him, Naruto plants a right hand on Deva Path's face which Deva Path answers with a right hand of his own. Naruto and Deva Path trade right hands until Deva Path was able to use his power again.

Deva Path: Shinra Tensei.

Naruto was repelled a few feet away from Deva Path, Deva Path rushes Naruto with one of his chakra blades. Deva Path tries to stab Naruto with the chakra blade but Deva Path stabs the ground as Naruto avoids it and gets back to his feet.

Naruto: Outlaw Style: Sack Attack.

Naruto kicks Deva Path in the balls doubling over in pain.

Naruto: Outlaw Style: Bail Jumper.

Naruto jumps high into the air and comes down with his chakra concentrated at his feet aiming at Deva Path. Deva Path barely rolls out of the way as Naruto lands and creates a crater where he landed. Deva Path sweeps Naruto's leg from under him and Naruto lands on his back, Deva Path stands over him.

Deva Path: I'll be careful not to kill you. Shinra Tensei.

Naruto disappears from the ground as Deva Path uses his Shinra Tensei and deepens the crater slightly.

Deva Path: Where did he go?

Naruto appears in front of Deva Path and jumps into his upper body, Deva Path falls on his back with Naruto on top of him. Naruto pummels Deva Path's face with right hands, Naruto gets up and disappears only to reappear cursing and stomping towards Deva Path and drops the point of his elbow on Deva Path's face. Naruto gets up, mouthing off to every one in an earshot.

Naruto: If you think ol' Naruto Uzumaki ain't finished with this son of a bitch yet, you got that shit right!

Naruto grabs Deva Path by the head and disappears with him, Naruto reappears in front a waist high rock and places his head face down on it. Naruto disappears and reappears farther away running towards Deva Path, Naruto jumps and drops his leg on the back of his neck. Deva Path falls off of the rock to the ground, Naruto raises his middle fingers into the air.

Kakashi: He's ready to end this.

As Deva Path struggles to his feet, Naruto stands behind him perched to attack. 

Naruto: (thinking) Come on, come on. Stand your ass up.

Deva Path gets to his feet and doesn't see Naruto, he turns around in search and Naruto gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing him bend over. Naruto turns and pulls Deva Path's head to his shoulder.

Deva Path: Shinra Tensei.

Deva Path repels Naruto a few feet away from him, he approaches Naruto who disappears from sight. Naruto reappears in front of Deva Path and gives him a toe kick to the stomach causing him to bend over. Naruto turns and pulls Deva Path's head to his shoulder and fall to a seated position to the ground, the impact rocks Deva Path that he bounces back to his back and rolls over his head to his stomach. Naruto's friends rejoice as Naruto seems to have defeated Deva Path.

Hinata & Sakura: Hell yeah!

Kiba: Alright, Naruto!

Shikamaru: You did it.

Kakashi: (thinking) I remember when this kid started out.

A couple of explosions sound off in the distance.

Tsunade: What was that?

Naruto: A couple of my Outlaw Clones just blew a couple of those sons of bitches away.

Three of Naruto's clones appear in front of Naruto and his friends, one of them was carrying Asura Path's head.

Naruto: That son of a bitch was a machine?

Naruto Clone: Not a good one.

Tsunade comes up to Naruto.

Tsunade: So, what's next?

Naruto: Just like I said earlier, I'm gonna find the real one of these sons of bitches and stomp a mud hole in his ass!

Naruto and his clones disappear.

Kakashi: Naruto! Damn it, he might need our help. Hinata, can you find him?

Hinata: I could, but he's not gonna want our help.

Konan, who already left to be by Nagato's side to watch over him due to his heavy chakra use, was advising Nagato to leave before Naruto found them.

Konan: Let's go, Nagato.

Nagato: No, it's too late anyway.

Konan sees what Nagato was referring to as Naruto was standing right in front of them eyes were burning a hole through Nagato.

Nagato: How did you find us?

Naruto: Hell, son, I can smell a jackass a mile away.

Nagato: So, now that you've found me, what do you plan to do?

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this. I figure that since that perverted son of a bitch trained you, you can't be all that bad. So what ol' Naruto Uzumaki's gonna do is give you five minutes to tell me why I shouldn't whup your ass, then when them five minutes is up, I'm gonna whup your ass and ain't a damn thing you can do about. Now that's all got to say 'bout that.

Nagato: Fine, I'll tell you why I'm doing this. I'll tell you the source of my pain.


	29. He's Back What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**He's Back. What!**

Naruto: So they killed your dog, huh?

Nagato: Yes.

Naruto: Hell, son, it's like this, you can take ya' little sob stories and shove 'em up your ass, son? What? You think that you were the first kid with a dead dog? What? Hell, son, that means the majority of children should grow up be like you. What? Is that what you want?

Nagato: No, what I want i…

Naruto: What? You think that you could bring peace by killin' everybody?

Nagato: You don't unde…

Naruto: What? What don't I understand? What? It's like this, you killed that perverted son of a bitch and now I'm 'bout to be on your ass, yeah, that's what I oughta do. But the only thing that perverted son of a bitch ever talked about was people understanding each other and ending wars. So, for him, I ain't gonna whip your ass.

Nagato: What do you mean?

Naruto: I mean, that perverted son of a bitch dreamed of a world where everybody understood each other and if people understood each other then there wouldn't be wars, now if I come over there and do what I want to, the only thing your gonna understand is an ass-whippin'.

Nagato: And you expect me to accept that? You must be kidding.

Naruto: Hell, son, my name ain't "Kidding" and you need to take a look at this.

Naruto tosses Nagato a book.

Nagato: The Tale of the Legendary Gutsy Ninja?

Naruto: That perverted son of a bitch wrote that.

Nagato reads through the book.

Nagato: Riveting story, but what does it have to do with anything?

Naruto: Look at the dedication in the back.

Nagato flips to the dedication.

Nagato: Me? He dedicated it to me?

Naruto: He dedicated it to you because he hoped that you would help him bring about the dream of peace that you shared.

Konan and Naruto look on at the remorse on Nagato's face.

Konan: Nagato?

Nagato locks eyes with Konan.

Nagato: What have I done, Konan?

Konan: It's okay, Nagato.

Nagato: No, it's not, but I think I know how I can make it okay.

Naruto: Hell, son, how do you plan on doin' that?

Konan: You're planning on doing that, don't you think that you've expended too much chakra already?

Nagato: It doesn't matter, I must atone for my sins.

Nagato revives everyone he killed in the village, elsewhere, under a small body of water, a pair of eyes opens.

Revived person: I'm alive? How can this be? I thought I was a goner for sure, I'd better get to the surface before I drown.

Nagato loses consciousness and falls out of his apparatus, Konan quickly rushes to his aid.

Konan: Nagato? Nagato?

Naruto moves over to Nagato and Konan.

Naruto: Don't worry, I can take to someone who can help.

Naruto takes a hold of Nagato.

Naruto: Meet me back in the village, got it?

Konan: Yes.

Naruto disappears from in front of Konan and reappears in the village where he left everyone.

Naruto: Old lady, Sakura, I need one you to heal this son of a bitch.

Sakura rushes over to Naruto and begins to heal Nagato.

Tsunade: Him? He's part of the Akatsuki, too? Naruto, why have you brought this man here?

Naruto: Don't worry about that right now just heal him.

Sakura: I've got him stabilized but we've go to get him to the hospital to take a look at those rods in his back.

Naruto: Got it.

Naruto and the other take Nagato to the hospital, it was decided that he needed to be operated on to take the rods out of his back. During the operation, Naruto and the other were in the waiting room.

Tsunade: Naruto, you still haven't told me why you've brought this man here.

Voice: His name is Nagato.

Tsunade: You, too?

Kakashi, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Shino stand ready to attack Konan, Naruto stands between.

Naruto: Calm down, she ain't her to fight.

Tsunade: What are you talking about?

Naruto: Well, I went to talk to that son of bitch in there and we've come to an understandin'.

Tsunade: What kind of understanding?

Naruto: I ain't gonna whip his ass and he ain't gonna make me whip his ass.

Tsunade: You expect us to sit here with two members of Akatsuki in our grasp and not do anything about it?

Naruto: Right. Look, why don't we sit here and enjoy a bottle of sake?

Naruto raises his hand and catches a bottle of sake; he hands the bottle to Tsunade and catches another for himself. Sakura and Shizune come out of the operating room.

Sakura: He's gonna be fine.

Naruto looks over to Konan who bears a look of relief on her face.

Shizune: We will need to keep him in the hospital so that he can regain his physical strength, though.

Tsunade: Make sure he's under heavy observation around the clock, understood?

Shizune: Yes, ma'am.

Tsunade: Naruto, I want to see you and this woman in my office immediately.

Tsunade was in her office trying to come to grips to the new developments in front of her.

Tsunade: So, you're telling me that he's rethought his beliefs, why?

Naruto: Because he realized that he actually believed what that perverted son of a bitch believed, he just forgot it somehow.

Tsunade: So, everything's supposed to be forgiven? I'm surprised at you, Naruto, you've been assaulting people on a whim since you've returned to the village and you repair this man so easily.

Naruto: Hell, he revived everyone he killed, didn't he? He repented for what he did.

Tsunade: And what about you?

Tsunade turns her attention to Konan.

Tsunade: Jiraiya took care of you when no one else did, how could you do that to him?

Konan: Nagato was never without remorse but he believed that the ends justified the means, he believed that Jiraiya-sensei was standing in the way of peach, even if he himself didn't know it.

Tsunade looks out over the village from her office window, contemplating her decision.

Tsunade: I want to speak with Nagato, myself. We'll continue this when he regains consciousness. Konan, you'll be held under strict observation as well.

A week goes by and Nagato has finally come out of his coma, the first two people he sees are Naruto and the hokage. Behind them were, Kakashi, Shizune, Sakura, Hinata and a squad of Anbu.

Tsunade: Give me one good reason I shouldn't have you killed right now.

A familiar voice comes from behind Naruto and Tsunade.

Voice: Because he finally understands.

Naruto and Tsunade quickly turn around to find Jiraiya standing in the doorway of the hospital room.

Jiraiya: Does anyone know where I can find a new arm.

Tsunade runs up to Jiraiya and embrace him tightly, she whispers in his ear as she fights back her tears.

Tsunade: (whispering) Didn't I tell you that you don't have to put on this act for me if you came back?

Tsunade gives Jiraiya a soft kiss on his lips as Jiraiya holds onto her with one arm, Naruto watches on and tries hard to contain his emotions.

Naruto: I can't believe that you're back.

Jiraiya and Tsunade release their clench on each other and Jiraiya looks at Naruto, Naruto approaches Jiraiya with his hand extended. Naruto pulls Jiraiya in for a hug, Naruto releases the hug and raises his hand to catch an incoming bottle of sake. Naruto hands the bottle to Jiraiya and catches another for himself. Naruto toasts Jiraiya and they down a bottle of sake together, Tsunade and the rest of the Konohagakure shinobi were shocked at Naruto's show of affection.

Naruto: What the hell are you all lookin' at? What? Were you expectin' me to give whip his ass? What? Stomp a mud hole in his ass? What? Give him a Number? What? Well, that ain't gonna happen, you're lookin' at the Toad Sage of Mt. Myobokuzan and that's somethin' that ya' just don't do.

Sakura and Hinata look each other concerned.

Hinata: (thinking) Naruto?

Sakura: What the hell is wrong with him?

Jiraiya turns his attention to Nagato.

Jiraiya: I'm glad you've come around, finally.

Nagato: It was all thanks to you, Jiraiya-sensei.

Jiraiya: Now, what can you tell us about the real leader of Akatsuki, Madara Uchiha?


	30. I'm Glad You're Back What!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**I'm Glad You're Back. What!**

Tsunade: You can't mean the man founded the village with my grandfather.

Jiraiya: The very same.

Naruto: Judging by his last name, I can tell that he's another one of them funny eyed sons of bitches but who the hell is he?

Jiraiya: As Tsunade said, Madara was the leader of the Uchiha clan when they were one of the two most powerful shinobi clans during a time before there were Hidden Villages.

Tsunade: There was no real structure to the shinobi world as we have today, shinobi were nothing more than mercenaries and the two most utilized shinobi were of the Uchiha clan and their rivals, the Senju clan of the forest, my clan. The two clans were led by Madara Uchiha and my grandfather, Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage, as time passed, my grandfather grew weary of the constant battles so they negotiated a truce with the Uchiha.

Naruto scoffs.

Naruto: What the hell for?

Jiraiya: What better way to destroy an enemy than to make him a friend?

Tsunade: Precisely, so the Senju and Uchiha clans banded together and struck a deal with the Land of Fire's daimyo to create Konohagakure and my grandfather was chosen as hokage. Eventually, a dispute rose between Madara and my grandfather and they had their legendary battle at the Valley of The End to settle on who should be hokage.

Naruto: What the hell is a "Valley of The End?"

Kakashi: You mean you really don't know?

Naruto: Hell, son, don't keep me in suspense.

Kakashi: The place where you and Sasuke fought when he left, those two statues are the First Hokage and Madara Uchiha to honor their memory and strength.

Naruto comes to a realization.

Naruto: So that's who that statue was that Sasuke was standin' on, so what happened after that?

Tsunade: Well, needless to say, my grandfather came out the victor and kept his title of hokage while Madara died.

Jiraiya: That's what the legends say but I believe otherwise.

Tsunade: Why?

Jiraiya: Because, Tsunade, you know that part of what gave Madara and Hashirama their power was the fact that they could destroy the bijuu.

Naruto: You mean the demons?

Jiraiya: Yes, while Madara could only control the Kyuubi that resides within you with his sharingan, Hashirama could control them all like pets. When other countries started to form ninja villages, he distributed them to the other villages as peace offerings and ways to balance the power, I believe that Madara was the one that set the Kyuubi on Konohagakure 16 years ago in an act of vengeance on the village.

Naruto: So, that son of a bitch is the reason for all my pain and sufferin' all these years?

Jiraiya: Yes. Now, Nagato, what can you tell us about him.

Nagato tries to sit up in his hospital bed but is still too weak and Konan rushes to his side.

Konan: Don't strain yourself, Nagato.

Nagato: It's alright, Konan. I believe that you've met him before, Naruto.

Kakashi: The shinobi with the mask, he had sharingan.

Naruto looks at Nagato puzzled.

Naruto: That's impossible, if he founded the village with this her grandfather, he's gotta be around 150 years old.

Nagato: As I understand it, his chakra is the key.

Jiraiya: How so?

Nagato: His chakra is so potent that it facilitates his immortality. He first approached me with the idea of forming the Akatsuki after I killed Hanzo to avenge Yahiko's death.

Tsunade: You killed Hanzo? Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and I couldn't do more than barely stalemate with him.

Nagato: As I've told Naruto, it was one of the sources of my pain that led me to take this path to peace.

Naruto: That reminds me, look out for that son of a bitch, Danzo.

Tsunade: Why?

Naruto: 'Cuz he helped Hanzo kill Nagato's friend who were only tryin' to end the war with a peaceful alternative.

Nagato: Madara told me that he had a way to truly bring peace to the world.

Jiraiya: So, what do the bijuu have to do with it?

Nagato: He told me that the bijuu could be used as devastating weapons that could deter the people of the world from warfare but Konan and I've always believed that he had ulterior motives.

Jiraiya: What ulterior motives?

Nagato: I don't know, but I suspect that they involve the last Uchiha.

Naruto: You mean Sasuke?

Nagato: Yes, after Sasuke won his fight against Itachi, Madara brought Sasuke back to his lair and persuaded him to join the Akatsuki. When we left Amegakure, Madara set him upon the Hachibi but I don't know if he was successful.

Jiraiya turns to Tsunade.

Jiraiya: So, what do you think?

Tsunade: I don't know, do we even know where to find Madara?

Naruto: Hell, I got a question, how did Madara convince Sasuke to join the Akatsuki?

Nagato: He told him the truth about the massacre of his clan.

Naruto: The truth?

Jiraiya and Tsunade look at each other concerned.

Naruto: What truth?

Nagato: The truth is that Madara helped Itachi slaughter his clan.

Naruto: Hell, son, why would that make him join with him.

Nagato: Because Itachi was under orders.

Naruto: Orders? Orders from who?

Nagato: Danzo and the elders of this village.

Naruto: Hell, son, you mentioned him before. Who exactly is he to this village?

Tsunade: He is a war-hawk who openly defied the teachings of the Third Hokage, he even fought him for the title once.

Nagato: Itachi only acted in the interest of peace.

Naruto: What do you mean?

Jiraiya: The Uchiha were planning an uprising within the village, although I'm not too clear on why.

Nagato: It's because they finally came around to what Madara fought the First Hokage over, they believed that they were being treated unfairly within the village. Itachi knew that if the Uchiha were able to go through with their plan, it would weaken the village, no matter which side won and that weakness would've invited an attack from the other villages. Itachi was pacifistic in nature from atrocities he saw in the wars that were waged during his childhood and he knew that the only way to stop the conflict would be to eliminate the aggressors, the Uchiha. They denied every compromise or peace offering the Third Hokage offered. Madara's only motive in the equation was revenge for the Uchiha turning on him when he went against the First Hokage.

Naruto: Did you two know about this?

Jiraiya: All the Third told us at the time was to be ready.

Tsunade: I've been told some of the particulars when I became hokage but this the first time I've heard this part of the story.

Naruto: Well, we'd better get ready 'cuz if I know that son of bitch, Sasuke, he's gonna make his way here, screamin' for vengeance.

Tsunade: You're right, it's time to take precaution. Kakashi, you and these ANBU go and find Danzo. I have some questions for him.

Kakashi & ANBU: Yes, hokage.

Tsunade: One of you ANBU stay here to observe him, I'll be in my office.

Tsunade, Kakashi, and the ANBU squad leave. Jiraiya walks over to Nagato and Konan.

Jiraiya: I'm glad you two have come around, I think the shinobi world will be a lot better off now.

Naruto observes Jiraiya's interaction with his former students.

Jiraiya: If you guys will excuse me.

The image of Jiraiya showing affection to Nagato and Konan keeps playing his Naruto's mind and soon follows after Jiraiya.

Naruto: Hey, where ya' goin'?

Jiraiya stops and turns around.

Jiraiya: I'm going to see if they can do anything about my arm.

Naruto: Okay.

Upon further observation of Naruto, Jiraiya could see something was up with Naruto.

Jiraiya: Is there something wrong, Naruto?

Naruto: No, I just, uh, wanna say that, uh, it's good to have ya' back.

Naruto extend his hand to Jiraiya who takes his hand and shakes it. Naruto raises his hand and catches a bottle of sake, he hands the bottle to Jiraiya and catches another for himself. Naruto and Jiraiya share a toast in the hospital hallway.

Naruto: You'd better go on ahead and get that arm fixed.

Naruto watches as Jiraiya heads down the hallway, Hinata and Sakura were watching the whole ordeal.

Hinata: Sakura, did Naruto seem kinda like he was competing with Nagato a little?

Sakura: Yeah, like he didn't want Jiraiya to forget about him or something.

Naruto turns around and spots Hinata and Sakura watching him.

Naruto: What?

**Adios. Bang.**

**Be on the look out for the sequel, see ya space cowboy.**


End file.
